I'm soo fed up - my h2b is the one that wants the big fussy wedding - I wanted to elope! Yet he's not doing anything with helping plan it, I've just been doing all the invites (writing and sticking together) and he's sat infront of the tv, (bearing in mind I have whiplash and can barely move and am supposed to be taking it easy) and everytime I get frustrated for messing one up he has a go at me! And I had to do all his first cos his mum made the invites, including inviting people I don't want there, and now we've run out of invites, so there isn't enough for my family!! And the rsvp date is the 23rd May!! I seriously give up, he's soo horrible to me about everything lately, and wants the wedding planned, but wont help out with it at all. I don't even want a stupid wedding anymore
Have you sat down and spoke to him about this all? TBH my h2b is exactly the same altho he wanted to elope and i want the big wedding! he hasnt done any of the things he needs to do, like get suits and look at a ring for him and i am left doing everything! ive gone past the point of being annoyed now and am just doing everything iwant and if he doesnt like it well tuff! he should have helped.
i think he needs to know exactly how youre feeling or you may end up resenting him. he may not realise that hes upsetting you and then when you talk he might change.
good luck and i hope your whiplash goes soon xx
CommentAuthorspooney24
*jumps in car and drives all the way down to Kaya's to give her h2b a boot up the a rse*
26th December 2007 - the day I met my special man
8th August 2008 - the day he was mad enough to propose to me
24th July 2010 - the day I felt beautiful inside and out and
became Mrs Dickie for life. xx
He knows - we've had the talk. Apparently he's always too tired. Apparently that's also why he speaks to me like sh!t! Seriously considering calling it all off. He doesn't make me happy or feel good about myself recently. Infact he makes me thoroughly miserable, and if he was to propose now, I'd say no! Says it all really..... :-\ He makes me cry pretty much every day...
Now Mrs Cobb!!!!!! :-D
CommentAuthorKaya
Thanks Spooney, I think it's past that. He's not interested in me nor the wedding, and he either ignores me or is horrible, don't remember when he was last loving towards me or made me feel good. He always blames it on the fact he's ill... but he can't blame it all on that.
Now Mrs Cobb!!!!!! :-D
CommentAuthorMilly87
No man is worth your tears. Im sorry but he doesnt sound like a nice man if he makes you cry!! Do you love him? if you love him do you want to try and work it out? if not then maybe you have already made your mind up. do you have any kids together?
aww hun, i really hope everything works out. i know if it was me i couldnt be with someone like that. you should be treated like a princess everyday. i was in an abusive relationship (emotionally and physically) for 7 months and when i left i felt so free and was a completely different person. infact i wasnt a new person, i was back to my old self b4 him and i was happy again. best thing i did was leave him and now im marrying the man of my dreams who treats me with respect and makes me feel amazing.
could you tell him that you will leave if he doesnt change his ways and see what he says? xx
CommentAuthorekielty(now Trow)
Just give him a kick up the bottom! xxxx
Very very happy as Mrs Erica Trow
I feel like the luckiest girl in the world! xx
CommentAuthorspooney24
Has he always been like this at times Kaya or has his behaviour changed since you got engaged?
26th December 2007 - the day I met my special man
8th August 2008 - the day he was mad enough to propose to me
24th July 2010 - the day I felt beautiful inside and out and
became Mrs Dickie for life. xx
CommentAuthorxox-Zoeee
maybe he just needs a shock to giv him the kick up the bot he needs. maybe if u tell him all you have just said here. it will shock him into being a bit nicer and helping out more. if not then u need to seriously think if u can live like this forever. hope your ok. xxx hugs!!
CommentAuthorKaya
Yes I do love him, but I feel like we've been trying to work things out for ages now. I've told him I'll leave him, I don't think he believes it. And I want him to change soo much, I keep telling myself it's going to happen, and waiting around.
Spooney - yeh, he changed pretty much as soon as we got engaged - I've told him that as well!
I've told him it all Zoe :-( And I've told him I can't live like this.... I just want it to be how it used to be.... I know relationships change... but not like this!
Now Mrs Cobb!!!!!! :-D
CommentAuthorMilly87
if he doesnt believe you that you would leave, how about shocking him by saying youre going but then just end up staying the night at a friend/relatives house and then go back in the morning.
im not sure im giving the right advice here!! if you love him then its worth sticking at it and everyone has rough patches that can be worked out, it all depends on if you both want it. xx
CommentAuthorspooney24
edited
If he is going to act the way he does now what is he going to be like after the wedding. I really want to see you happy Kaya and I have noticed over the last few weeks or more that you have become really down and fed up when most b2b are stressed but excited and his behaviour is obviously taking its toll on you emotionally. Can you see yourself truly happy with him? I have no magic advice to give you or a magic wand to wave to make everything better but in my honest opinion I wouldn't let someone make me feel so bad that it makes you ill and no relationship should be like that. I know no ones relationship is perfect and it is really hard work to make a good relationship that is steady and most times happy but if you can only imagine life as it is now with him then is it what you really want. I think if I were you I would take a day away from everything and recoup my energy and then decide what your future holds. xx
26th December 2007 - the day I met my special man
8th August 2008 - the day he was mad enough to propose to me
24th July 2010 - the day I felt beautiful inside and out and
became Mrs Dickie for life. xx
CommentAuthorCroc
i feel for ya hunni my h2b was the same ... until i stopped and said u want the wedding then u help and hes helped ever since ... as i threatned to leave pull my hair out and that i wasnt arsed any more and now hes more supportive think hes seen how stressed i was and he thiught best helpnor ill be under the patio soon xx
"better a witty fool, than a foolish wit" shakespeare
CommentAuthorUnknown
my h2b was exactly the same and i was getting upset over stupid things and i said to h2b i wanted to cancel it as he wasnt helping. he was having a go at me for getting stressed out over small things and just didnt understand. i then didnt do anything wedding related for about a week and then i got home one day couple of weeks ago and he said...right i want to finish the evening invites and get them out tonight and since then he has been quite good. he is the one stressed now. he isnt sleeping and has a twitch in his eye which the optician said was caused by stress!
Tell him again how you feel and say you are not going to put up with it and threaten to leave and see what he says xx
CommentAuthorMrsTacky2B
kaya, its such a hard one, your there everyday can you see yourself living this way for the rest of your life, if he is not going to support you when you need it, and by the sounds of it you desperately need him to at the moment. You need to make a decision is it worth it, i know its the worst thing in the world to think about but you have the think of yourself sweetheart. Your happiness is the most important thing in the world, and your wedding day is even more special. I had all this with my first marriage, when i walked down the aisle i was looking at people secretly begging for them to say No dont do it. All my family sat on there hands i so wished they had the courage to speak out, was the worst day of my life, he made my life hell for 5yrs and i finally got the strength to walk away and now i have the man of my dreams my bestest friend in the world, just wish i had met before the ex took along time to trust my h2b but wouldnt give him up for the world.
Good luck hunny and we are all here for you xx
My biggest dream is to marry my Best Friend and I can't wait
to be Mrs Herbert Whoop Whoop !!!!
CommentAuthorKaya
Oh, I really don't know what to do, and it's soo near the wedding :-(
Now Mrs Cobb!!!!!! :-D
CommentAuthorjanetx71
aww hun its horrible to feel this way is it maybe cause your tired and maybe nervous or is it that there is a problem more deep rooted i guess only you know the answer but i think i would say to him that your not doing another thing until he acts his bloomin age for heaven sake ,all his friends had to be invited first cause his mum made the invites i have never heard anything so rediculous(cant spell for toffe lol ) in my life i mean seriously thats like saying right my mum made the cake so once all my family and all my friends have had some then your side can have whats left it would be laughable if it wasnt real i think id shred the blinkin things good luck to you hun give him a swift kick xxxxxx
CommentAuthorKaya
We're both really tired, I'm tired cos I can't sleep due to stress, and he's tired cos he's got M.E. though we think it might be sleep apnea instead.... but when I'm tired I'm not nasty to him like he is to me. I'm in alot of pain atm cos of whiplash aswell, soo with that and the stress of trying to plan HIS wedding myself I just can't cope. I do love him more than anything, but I just can't live my life the way I am atm :-\
Now Mrs Cobb!!!!!! :-D
CommentAuthorKatie
Chickyboo I know its near the wedding date twin but if he doesnt make you smile at least once a day now what is it going to be like after the wedding? Being married to the wrong man is much much worse than calling the wedding off I know I was married to an idiot for 10 years, You deserve to be happy and you deserve to be treated like a princess. If he doesnt make you happy then you have no choice to call it off.
xxx
Those who mind dont matter
Those who matter dont mind
CommentAuthormadison_uk
I agree with Katie if its bad now what are you going to be like married I was married before I had second thoughts on the wedding day, but went through with it biggest mistake I ever made and was stuck with him for two years and I hated it and it took me two years to get a divorce so much hassle and now I'm happy with two kids. I think you need to go away on your own for a weekend and just have a long hard look at your relationship, get away from the house and see how you feel, sometimes love is just not enough.
CommentAuthorHonest John!
Hi Kaya I have a big shovel, i can lend it to you so you can smack him over the head with it, might give him a wake up call!
CommentAuthorKaya
Thanks Richard!!
Now Mrs Cobb!!!!!! :-D
CommentAuthorKatie
How you feeling now chicky?
xx
Those who mind dont matter
Those who matter dont mind
