Wedding Forum - A goodbye and lucks to you all MWAH!...

Well after a weekend of not so nice, I have decided to completely cancel the whole thing and this will not be changed.

What with everything else that is occuring or going to pot, the one thing I have always counted upon was my tower of strength h2b, well I discovered this weekend that he has fallen and crushed me in the process.

He went out with a mate on friday evening for a few drinks and I didn't hear from him til the early hours of sunday morning about 4am to be exact.

To cut a long story short.. He had got drunk, started chattin to a girl (who it turns out is 21) went back to hers and spent the entire evening talkin, muckin about, and well I won't continue as it will make me cry but you can imagine what else. He woke up noticed all the missed calls, he was still there by the way, realised what had gone on and what he had done and decided he was going to let me know he was ok. You can imagine how frantic I had become by this point!

He sat on the phone and was coming out with every excuse he could think of as to his whereabouts for the previous ridiculous amount of hours, when I heard a person talking, I asked him who the voice was in the background, it was then he came clean and he told me he had woken next to this girl (yup he was still in her bed while he was tlaking to me). Explaining, apologising, begging me to forgive him, tellin me how much he luvved me, saying things like he had been so very drunk.. What for the entire 40 odd hours in her bed??? It would never happen again! Nope as at this present time I do not want to see nor speak to him.

I am going through beginning the process of cancelling the wedding (and this is non negotiable tbh) it takes a lot for me to trust people, as many have destroyed that in the past - both friends and luvved ones. He was the first person in a long while that I believed in whole-heartedly, we had not argued in fact we had just been planning to sneak off somewhere romantic for a couple of days before he left for his night out. At his suggestion too, so this has shocked me even more so that he could do such a thing.

I am actually quite proud of how I reacted, I did not rant or rave, no weeping down the phone at him (well not that he could have heard I think). I simply asked him why? listened to his response and said that he would need to make arrangements for somewhere else to be, asked him if he was leaving 'her' place any time soon he said he was leaving then and there. I told him to not call me for a while and I ended the call, I instantly called, and woke up, my best mate and promptly had a breakdown. It took him til later that afternoon to get back (he was in south east london so should have only taken a max of an hour by cab if necessary, to get back to the house in north london, so your guess is as good as mine as to what he was doing.. hmmmm).
He has since turned up at my mates, the one I called, to ask what to do and she has apparantly told him to leave me be, that in her opinion to have done that at this point in time for no reason at all (even he says there was no rhyme or reason to it) is cruel. If there is anyway to fix it then it is up to him to figure it out but if I decide I don't want him near me then that is what he needs to do and leave me be. He has tried to get in contact repeatedly by phone, text, email. He has knocked at the door to which I opened it and he couldn't even look me in the eye. When I asked him again why he just said 'I don't know, I love you, I'm sorry', so I asked him to leave. I don't know what will happen in the future but for now I cannot be with someone who would do something like that for no reason.
He still wants us to get married , but that is a definate NO WAY! For one thing I no longer trust him.

I have asked for my account to be deleted completely as at the moment there is no need for it, and well, it is a bit too much.

I wish you all well, lots of lucks and loves for your BIG DAY. Am sure you will all be beautiful and have the proudest men waiting at the end of those aisles.

Smooshees

(thanks for the rant, didn't mean it to turn into one.. but was actually a tad cathartic :o).. life continues)

I'm so sorry to hear this - he does not deserve you. Keep your chin up babe, best of luck in the future x

Loads of love and luck to you sweetie - You are so much stronger then me and I take my hat off to you. Good Luck in all you do xxxx

Good luck my dear! So proud of you for being strong and standing up to him! Bless your heart! All the best for the future, whatever that may be! Lots of love! xxxxx

be strong..you don't deserve to be treated in this way..onwards and upwards..love to you xxxx

Such a strong lady :0) I admire ur dignified responses. Good luck hunny x

take are hun

sorry to heat that, take care xxxx

take care hun xx

Im so sorry.. you are taking it all very well..
id of killed him and i mean that...

good luck darling and if you ever decide you can forgive and the wedding does go ahead in the future .. come back!!

{{HUGS}}

Really sorry to hear this! Take care of yourself and you know where we are if you want a chat! Xxx

best of luck for the future

congratulations on your strength hun! i too would have killed him! hope to see you back here another time if im still here by then babe

so so sorry sweetheart, chin up honey and good luck for the future xxxx

This is awful, I'm so sorry :( Well done for being so strong. Take care xxx

U sound amazingly brave, remember to take time to let it out to ur best mate or in 3 months time u might find yourself a little crazy!! Good luck for the future x

seems they haven't deleted the account as of yet lol. so will pop on til they do

Thanks again. Am being strong for the children mainly (my son is autistic so have to keep things at a relative level of normal or he panics), last night was the hardest and expect the next few weeks will be the same.

Will talk to the *cough cough* man at some point properly but for me it is too soon and am too raw about it, but I really doubt I will ever trust him again. It starts to make you wonder if it has been done before, what other things have occurred kind of things even if they may never and I can't and won't live like that. So it really is over.

The funny thing is I actually got to have a rare evening out on the friday night too, had a blast saw old friends and it would never have crossed my mind to even do something like that. So obviously the commitment levels between us had dropped, and if so it is unfair on both of us to stick in a relationship that is one sided.

Lala - No fear hun, I am grieving and painfully so, I just have to do it quietly when no one is around (or only a few close people if you see what I mean). Thank you for your thoughts tho hun.

Smooshees

Oh I am So sorry you deserve so much better than that. thinking and praying for you.

maybe you need to invest in some counseling to help you get over this shock so you can move on more easily

(even though i can¬t spell apparently)

This is terrible news babe....hope all works out for you in the future...big hugs!! xx

Didnt want to read and run, I just wanted to say you dealt with it perfectly! he knows that you are not so much angry but dissapointed in what he has done and totally broke your trust. What a very silly thing for him to do. Staying "normal" for the sake of the children is hard I know that only too well but my ex was having a full blown affair not a weekend of it (although neither is better!!) keep you chin held high hun....you are doing so well and keep talking about it to your friends and us until your not on anymore at least while it is still so raw. Sending you love and hugs xxx

Sorry to see this Hun! Best of luck for the future & your babies! xxx

Oh that is awful! Wishing you all the best for the future once this horrible situattion passes. Stay strong xx

I admire how well you are dealing with this - you are incredible! I too would have murdered him, like a couple of others on here have said!

So very sorry for what he has done, but I expect he will be even sorrier for what he has lost. You will find someone who deserves you, I know it and I look forward to seeing you back on here when that happy day does arrive!

Stay strong honey, we're all thinking of you! All the best for the future xx

Netta you are a very strong lady and I admire you. I cant imagine the pain you are feeling nw. You are in my thoughts hon. Be good to yourself. Hugs