Absolutely frustrated after h2b phoned vicar this afternoon. I had e-mailed the vicar asking about the dates we wanted and he said they were free just needed to come over to go over details. Now it turns out they were free because he is going on holiday on both dates that we want! Why didn't he check his diary properly first before getting my hopes up?? He has said to us that the 14th of August is free but that is too far on for us as we can't be sure of the weather then, we are having our reception in our garden and kind of want there to be a greater chance of there being sunshine! I know british weather is unpredictable anyway but at least in July we will have a better chance of good weather. Now just hoping that the 23rd of July is free, but even then that extraweek early means I will have to very careful with money to get everything sorted. Not sure what to do, just wanted to get it off my chest, I mean not being horrible but does a vicar do anything that stressful that warrants taking a 2 week holiday?? Grrrr. xxx
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CommentAuthor~*~ Becca ~*~
tbf it doesn't matter what job you do..everyone is entitled to go away for as long as they wish to do....doesnt say anywhere that they cant!!! and it just seems unlucky that he's on holiday the dates you were wanting!!!
is there not another vicar to do it
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CommentAuthorGregorysGirl
Oh I know that really, just frustrated that it happens to be those 2 weeks, lol. There isn't another one locally, our vicar takes care of 3 other parishes in our local area, and you can't marry in other churches as far as I know unless you have a connection. Another thing I forgot to mention is that the 2 dates we wanted was the only 2 dates that my MOH can attend, she has a very busy job and is away a lot. And I know the wedding isn't about her but she is my best mate and am gutted that she more than likely won't be able to be there. Just bought her dress and everything, money down the drain. :( xx
Finally reunited with the love of my life
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This Saturday I will finally be Mrs Codling!
CommentAuthorjoey86
Is the church you want to get married at have a regular Sunday service? If so, there must be someone covering those services when he's away and therefore be responsible for what goes on during that time and could possibly do your wedding ceremony? Or, failing that, does the vicar report to someone else higher up - most parishes have some kind of admin person you could contact and they could be in charge of finding a replacement? x
CommentAuthorGregorysGirl
No there isn't sadly, he hasn't long been vicar here and there was a Sunday service every now and then. He is trying to get the church up and running more regularly but hardly anyone goes in the village. We went for our kids christening and it was part of the Sunday service, there were only 6 other parishioners who go whenever there is a service, shocking really. We will have to have a talk with him tomorrow and see what options we have, but he is so ditsy that it will take him another couple of weeks to get round to it, and I need to get the invites out!! Need a drink right now, lol. x
Finally reunited with the love of my life
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This Saturday I will finally be Mrs Codling!
Oh gosh... Hmm... Are you sure you can't get married at any other churches in the area? Is it CofE - if so, I doubt there would be much trouble getting married elsewhere? I would have thought they're more chilled out with the 'rules' (but that might have just been the church I grew up going to!) I'm not sure about Catholic churches or other denominations though.
But yes, a drink sounds like a good idea!! x
CommentAuthorGregorysGirl
I am sure it will work out. I guess what has bothered me more is the fact that my best mate will be working away when we get married and she is my MOH, I don't have any other close friends here really, left them all behind in Scotland when I moved here and it is too short notice for them to make it. Just need to sleep on it and I am sure I will feel better about it in the morning. At least I will more than likely get married a week early, silver lining and all that, lol. xx
Finally reunited with the love of my life
Never to part again
This Saturday I will finally be Mrs Codling!
CommentAuthorjoey86
Fingers crossed that it all works out for you :-) And that your best friend can be there for your wedding day too! x
CommentAuthorGregorysGirl
Just found out that if the vicar can marry us on the 23rd then she is free after all, lol, oh my god, I can now breathe, phew!!! :D x
Finally reunited with the love of my life
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CommentAuthorjoey86
That's great :-) x
CommentAuthorsuzky123
people will want a holiday and its not fair to begrudge him of one. However, he should have checked first but it has happened and now u just need to think carefully about what u want to do. At least it doesnt have a knock on effect with a booked venue
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CommentAuthorx ashlil x
ive just noticed your getting married in 4 months, you left it late to get the church didnt you. I booked mine in Jan for July next year lol. Normally they can get a vicar from another parish to cover, as im sure the church wont be closed to everyone for those weeks, so surely someone can do your wedding x
CommentAuthorGregorysGirl
I don't really begrudge him, was just annoyed that he said the dates were free and now they aren't. But it is all fine, if he can do the 23rd then all is well. But to reiterate I would never begrudge anyone a holiday, he works hard in the parish, was just an initial reaction. xx
Finally reunited with the love of my life
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This Saturday I will finally be Mrs Codling!
CommentAuthorGregorysGirl
It was booked last year for the 11th of June but we couldn't quite make it that early, so asked to move the date, which he said was fine. He has lots of free dates as it is a small village, just coincidence of the dates clashing. :) x
Finally reunited with the love of my life
Never to part again
This Saturday I will finally be Mrs Codling!
CommentAuthorKatya
I have to say that you should be able to work this one to your advantage, he told you they were free, he failed to check the diary correctly so therefore he should find someone to cover for him! in respect he told you you could have those dates cos he told you to come in and sort it all out, he told you they were free so he basically told you you can get married on that day. If he is going away that only means that he wont be doing the service, maybe you should tell him this and ask that he find another vicar to marry you seeing as he is the ne that has made the mistake. tell him that if he doesnt then you have lost all faith for the church, not religion just his church, he should find you a vicar
Find out who you are & do it on purpose!
CommentAuthorx ashlil x
ah i see. Still there should be covering vicar for the weeks he is off so have a word with him x
CommentAuthorGregorysGirl
He is a one of those very ditsy vicars that even when he has you in the diary, he keeps asking you what the date is again whenever he sees you, a bit worrying! He is a decent chap though really, my h2b gets on well with him, they end up playing guitar together when he comes round. But tomorrow it will definitely be wedding business first before a jamming session, lol.
Finally reunited with the love of my life
Never to part again
This Saturday I will finally be Mrs Codling!
CommentAuthorKatya
like i say tho he told you the dates are free if there is no one available for the wedding then the dates are not free. so he needs to find you someone to cover the wedding or he needs to give up his holiday. false information otherwise!
Find out who you are & do it on purpose!
CommentAuthordee
We are in a sort of similar situation, we booked the church last october, filled in all paperwork e.t.c and then in jan the vicar told us he has a family party that day so can't actually do it, he got another vicar, who we met and he was awful, really rude and really upset me with some comments he made, refused to have him, now we can't get a vicar and we have all deposits paid for that date. . Glad you got a date Yay!!! Xx
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CommentAuthorGregorysGirl
Oh god, my situation pales into insignificance with yours. We haven't as yet had to pay deposits for anything, the only bad thing that could have happened is my MOH not being able to attend, but that is not a setback like you are going through, it is important that you have a vicar you are comfortable with and who isn't rude! Really hope you find another vicar who can marry you both and who will have manners and put you at ease. xx
Finally reunited with the love of my life
Never to part again
This Saturday I will finally be Mrs Codling!
CommentAuthorKatya
dee as i say above he can not do that! he will have to find you a vicar that is willing that you are willing to have or he needs to cancel... we seem to be getting alot of situations like this... i just finished writing a comment about photography stating that their date that had been paid for had been given away!
vendors can not do this! there is a contract in place, things have been paid for! this rate all ukbriders will be in the small claims courts taking various vendors to court for breach of contracts! (no im not stating that its all ukbride suppliers, this is whichever suppliers are being idiots and breaching their contracts)
Find out who you are & do it on purpose!
CommentAuthorYourFirstDanceBride
Sorry but yes ministers do need holidays. My dad is a minister and it can be very stressful listening to peoples problems and helping other people all day. They don't get very much time to themselves becasue they are basically on call 24/7 and therefore they do need time off and they cannot book their holidays around when they think people might want to get married, especially as they have to work the major holidays that everyone else gets off such as Christmas and Easter. No such bank holidays for ministers.
Most churches are part of some circuit and will have someone to oversee things whilst someone is away and therefore they should be able to do it. But it sounds like you hadn't booked an actual date and I'm sorry but you can't expect him to wait around in case you might book something. I'm sure you would feel the same if it was the other way round.
Don't mean to sound harsh but ministers are people too, and if you are not a regular member of the congregation then he has no obligation to you if you have no contract in place.
CommentAuthorGregorysGirl
Oh dear, wished I hadn't worded my post like that now, lol. I did say in my posts that of course I understand they are entitled to a holiday, please scroll up. I did not mean to offend, it was just a moment of frustration that is all. I know how busy they are, from dealing with parishioners problems, to visiting them when in hospital etc., and having to do their sermons and dealing with their own family, I am not heartless! We did book a date months ago, but due to financial reasons just wanted to move it a month on. And he is lovely and fine with it, just forgetful as to when he he has said he will pop over to discuss things. *sigh*xx
Finally reunited with the love of my life
Never to part again
This Saturday I will finally be Mrs Codling!
CommentAuthorx ashlil x
dont worry gregs, we know you didnt mean to offend. its just fruatrating x
