Wedding Forum - We told you to save the date!...

I've not found out yet but will do over the next few weeks. I also sent save the dates out so would be annoyed if they booked holidays knowing we were getting married. Guess it shows just how bothered they were about coming.

Yeah but when they got their save the dates they must have known it would be hard to get the date so to get it in first. I know I would have had a word with my boss as soon as it arrived to explain it was for a very important wedding. Sounds like they have left it until last minute to think about it.

we didnt send save the dates out, just our invites earlier, but we have had people saying oh yes we will be there but dont get us a buttonhole as i dont have a jacket??
my mum said those that turn up are the ones that matter, but its not always the case xx

Doesn't matter how much notice you give, not everyone will be able to make it. I think we had 25 or so people who couldn't, over half of which was work related due to no choice in shifts.

'Don't get a button-hole as I don't have a jacket'? What's that about?

Are we supposed to get every guest a buttonhole?

That's alright then. We got ones for our mums and then the ushers, best man and our dads. Did we miss anyone?

ive been told that every day guest has a buttonhole?? am confused now lol x

Its down to you, I guess. We're just having buttonholes for the bridal party.

I'm with you on the Save the Date- if they have a year to prepare, the "I can't book time off work" is not a good excuse.

we've just started telling people now even though our wedding isn't til 2013. I know that at least 3 people have already told their bosses as they don't want to miss it. if people REALLY wanted to come then surely that is the obvious thing to do. My partner HAS to book his holiday a year in advance to get the exact dates he needs.
Basically I think a year is enough...

we've had someone cancel today! We get married on saturday and he's been asked to play his band at a gig. NO! You're going to a wedding you are not free to play!!!! Why do ppl thinkit's ok to cancel when we've paid for their food and printed all the seating plans and things??

Many employers will only allow you to book time off at certain times; our holiday forms come out in January, we cannot book holiday before then, and then it's on a first-come first served basis, meaning that if you're not in on the day the forms go out (a lot of people fill them in straight away and hand them back), you might not get the dates you want. Other companies do annual leave on a rota eg some small companies give some people first choice one year, then others first choice the following year. I very much doubt they've done this to spite you, it's just unfortunate; not everyone can easily book time off.

I also wouldn't really see it as a cancellation: we're sending save the dates out to let people know in advance, but this to me is not the same as an RSVP, and I won't assume that all those who can come when we send the save the dates out will still be able to come when we send the invites out; that's why you send the invites out with an RSVP, as that counts as the official acceptance, not the response to the save the date.

So sorry hun, some people just don't care, I've sent out my save the dates and the 1st lot of invites will go out 4 months before the wedding then I'll chase them up till the next lot posted 3 months b4, so I might fill a couple of gaps with friends instead of family!
Might be including a note now though, after seeing lots of brides go through this same thing, along the lines of "RSVP date is **/**/**, due to lack of space if you haven't replied by this date, your place will be offered to someone else!"
But it is true what they say, those that take the time to come are the ones that actually care!xx

The amount of people who are going on holiday and booked their holiday after they had our save the date is madness!! We made sure they went out because it is holiday time and the kids being off!!
I'm waiting with baited breath now for drop outs! Like u it is all printed and table planned and everything!!
The guy with the gig is just rude!!! I wouldn't forgive him that easily! x

We had someone who said they couldn't come (Groom's sister's fiance) because he does amateur dramatics and he had a rehersal. We said to her that it's his future brother-in-law's wedding! She said "yeah but he's had it booked for months" and our response was "We've had this booked for a year!" There wasn't a response to that (how could there be?) but he still didn't come.

I know it's been said before, but if they can't be bothered, then it's their loss.

He cancelled for a gig?! I'd say "alright then, your place at my wedding cost £x. How much are you getting played for this gig?!" Lol. How rude!

We've sent STD cards and had one couple reply and say that can't make it but everyone else has said yes. 9 months to go, lets see how many drop out!

We had a belter, h2b's cousin, wife and 8year old (one of select few children invited) rsvp'd the minute the invites went out and were very excited to say yes. We too sent out save the dates over a year ago. H2B got a text last week saying they couldn't go as they "couldn't afford it" and would see us at the night. Erm, so we pay for the day which you don't pay a penny to and you can't afford.....wha?

H2b replied immediately saying ta for letting us know we can now offer your seat to someone who can go. That was it, he didn't care why the close cousin wasn't going although we have our suspicions but nonetheless, whipped it right out of their hands and have been filled by someone else.

I agree with Kylee27, I think he is uber rude and should be billed as you've paid for them and he is getting some sort of financial gain over playing I assume? Bill him!

It's making my blood boil, I can only imagine how you feel and to be honest if ANYONE from our rsvp's did that now for any reason other than the obvious illness etc I'd be telling them how much they owe me and go at it until it's paid.

Im really dreading the time I send the invites out after hearing some of your experiences! One thing I've learnt is I'll be sticking to a strict deadline for RSVP's if they can't be bothered to let me know one way or another I'm not going to be chasing after them lol

I've hedged my bets a little which I'm a bit worried about since I've over invited but after reading this thread its probably a good thing I did! The number is based onbudget not venue sizesoa few extra will just cost a wee bit more!
Sorry to hear about all the rubbish excuses you have all had. At least you will be spending your day with people who do care xx

It's sad - people don't rate weddings as important anymore do they? It seems to me that if it's inconvenient or they have something better to do, or it uses a precious holiday day, they don't consider that it might be important to the bride and groom to have their special people around them.
I'm sure you will still have enough people who care enough about you and your special day to make it a lively occasion xx

Some companies have wierd ways of doing hols during school holidays, they either give everyone with kids first choice or priority or do it from a certain date, i think this is wrong but give them the beneift of the doubt if you feel that they would have been there if they could. luckily this is not all companies

I know what you mean about work and holidays, we would really have loved to have got married 1st August next year as it's Yorkshire Day but there's no way on this earth we'd have got time off let alone our guests lol

Two more cancellations today!!! Are you for real people?? It's four days away and we've had everything printed and we've damn well paid for you to be there!! Fuming.

I also think being invited to a wedding is a huge honour. I would never turn down an invite unless it was absolutely necessary.

it is so rude if you say you are coming than go unless your really ill, in hospital or dying... it is an honor to be at a wedding in my opinion even if its only for the evening do ...