Wedding Forum - Bridesmaid wants to buy all the dresses!...

I was initially going to have my bridesmaids wear a black dress off the high street or one of their own as i figured that as long as they were wedding appropriate and they all had the same bouquets it would still look nice and bridesmaidsy! But one of my bridesmaids who would prefer to wear a traditional bridesmaids dress, has offered to buy all 3 bridesmaids dresses as a wedding gift. While this is a lovely gesture and would save me some much needed money, i dont think my other bridesmaids would be too comfortable about it and may feel that they have to contribute too and they dont have as much money as her. I spoke to one of the bridesmaids quietly about it and she wasnt at all comfortable with the idea especially as she doesnt know her that well. Plus im worried that if she was to pay for all the dresses then she would think she could have the main say on which ones to get! Advice needed please!

I think it's very kind of her and she sounds like she is just trying to help but if you and your other bridesmaid's don't feel comfortable with it then tell her your very grateful but you'd rather she didn't x

i understand where your other bridesmaids are coming from but as suzky said it is a gift from her to you. i think as long as you chose them togeter and your friend agreed to it then go for it. i am in 2 minds persoanlly but if you and your friend are ok with it then i dont see the problem!

To be honest i dont really want to put my friends in an awkward position, which is where i am now! I really wasnt bothered about them all having matching dresses, especially as they are different shapes and sizes anyway. However i cant deny its a lovely offer and it would be nice for them all to have new dresses. Think im going to have to tactfully speak to the maid in question about her offer and see what agreement we can come to.

I think it depends on what you want: if you'd rather have them in matching dresses, take her up on the offer and explain to the others that this is her gift to you. But, if you'd rather have them in non-matching dresses just politely say, thanks, but that you really want them all in different dresses.

My bridesmaids are different shapes and sizes: one is 5'5", pear-shaped, with broad shoulders, though still very slim; another is 5'8", size 6-8; another is 6', size 10; another is 5'4", size 10. They all have different colourings and hair, and styles; in short, they wouldn't all suit one style, meaning, at least one or 2 would feel uncomfortable and not look that nice. So, I'm letting them all pick their own (non-bridesmaids) dresses: provided the colours don't clash massively and they aren't inappropriate (eg very short or booby lol) then I'm happy. But, that's my 'vision' for my wedding; loads of people think I'm crazy giving them pretty much free reign, which is fair enough lol.

Bottom line? Do what YOU want: if they're all wearing black matching dresses might be nice, esp as shades of black can actually vary a bit; and I'm sure you could find something that would suit all of them, even if it isn't 'perfect' for all of them, if that makes sense. They shouldn't really be uncomfortable that someone else is paying, as it's her gift to you. Just make sure she doesn't try to take control and that she's aware that ultimately the final say will be yours

As long as there are no conditions, and it's clear that she doesn't tell anyone. That way the other bridesmaids wouldn't have to know that she was paying for them. Besides does it matter who pays for the dresses? Surely the other bridemaids wouldn't be fussed if they thought you (or your family) were paying for them so why should it matter that it's a bridesmaid paying for them?

Oh i completely agree that it is a lovely offer, its just an awkward situation. Will speak to her and see what we can agree on. Thank you all for your advice xx

Its a nice idea but i think a lot of extra bother i dont need at the moment. Plus i dont think my H2B could be trusted to pick the right thing, hes hopeless with girly things! He is however having his suit made over in Vietnam for him!

Yeah, my H2B is hoping to get a suit made for a similar kind of price and it will be a bit different and something no one else has x