O.k, as some of you who read my other thread know, the usual vicar for our church is unable to conduct our ceremony for family reasons, so he gave us the details of the one who would, when i rang him, i thought that he was a bit abrupt. . .well, we met him today, and i'm really not comfortable with him, he made quite a few comments about the fact we have 5 children before marraige, he then went on to ask if my eldest, who is not my H2B's, was a result of a 1 night stand!!! When i informed him that she wasn't he went on to ask if me meeting my H2B caused the breakdown of the relationship i had with her dad!! Once again i told him that we had been split for 3 years before i met H2B, so then he asked if i still had feelings for him, i felt so belittled. . So as the meeting went on he informed us that he is 77 and has been retired for 10 years, and he hasn't a clue about all of the paperwork as he has never done it before, neither has he conducted a church of england wedding!! At the moment i'm feeling that if we have no choice and have to use him, then i shall reschedule, i really don't want to, but he made me so uncomfortable and i don't want to be feeling like this on my big day, do any of you have any advice or suggestions please? Xx
Can't wait to become Mrs Hardwicke. . .
CommentAuthorboo
Wow! I wouldn't be very happy either. Have a word with your usual vicar and explain the situation, because that line of questioning is inappropriate. If you get nowhere there you can go to the head of that diocese (sp?).
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CommentAuthorMrs (Dove) Pidgeon
Contact your original vicar, and say you don't feel he is comfortable with marrying you, and so you don't feel comfortable either, and if he has any other contacts.
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CommentAuthormrssidders2b
Hi hun, it's your big day so if you're not comfortable, don't do it. Think I read somewhere here that someone asked a vicar from another town or something to do their wedding.. Or I might just be dreaming
He's out of order to ask the things he asked.. Makes me feel like he's a grumpy old moo who doesn't want to do your wedding anyway. Can't you talk to your usual vicar and ask if there is anyone else? If that's too uncomfortable for you, I'm sure somebody else would suggest something.. good luck xx
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CommentAuthorbecky -mrs firth
awww vicar asked us questions about livin 2geva etc and made us explaine tc some of sooooooooooo back wards! but not knowin how to do wedidn n paperwork/ u wat , cant u find another place?
Engaged 27th November 2010
Hen Do Newcastle 2nd June 2012
Marrying the man of my dreams 11th August 2012!
Honeymoon To Jamaica 14th October 2012
if he makes you uncomfortable now then he will do on your wedding day which is sumit that you dont want!! as for the questions i think he might of wanted to know whether you are really wanting to get married and that you dont have any feeling for you ex ect but even soo some of the questions where abit demening!! and as for him not knowing what to do and has never done it before i wouldnt use him. xxx
CommentAuthordizzydora4
thats outrageous hun. He sounds horrible.Definately don't use him. x x
CommentAuthorboo
I showed H2B this thread and he is digusted the vicar would ask such questions
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CommentAuthorpennieb-MrsRiley
I was worried about meeting our vicar for similar reasons, I have two children who aren't Steve's and he has a son from his previous marriage, but our vicar couldn't care less so long as Steve was divorced and we knew what we were doing etc - made it so comfortable, and that's how it should be! Speak to your original vicar and tell him that the one you saw left you feeling extremely upset and explain why - essentially, the church of england are supposed to be becoming more open, and this new vicar obviously doesn't follow with that way of thinking!
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CommentAuthorbecky -mrs firth
if he dont kno the cof e way of weddin he a catholic vicar? this wud explain it a smine is 2 and they r alot stricter
Engaged 27th November 2010
Hen Do Newcastle 2nd June 2012
Marrying the man of my dreams 11th August 2012!
Honeymoon To Jamaica 14th October 2012
CommentAuthordee
Thanks guys, i could sort of understand his questioning but we have been together 10 years now, so if i ahd feelings for ex i certainly wouldn't be marrying my H2B, i think i am going to ring my usual vicar. Xx
Can't wait to become Mrs Hardwicke. . .
CommentAuthordee
He said that he is a vicar but has never had his own parish, he is Christian and used to do teaching of the bible in africa and india. . .Xx
Can't wait to become Mrs Hardwicke. . .
CommentAuthorbecky -mrs firth
awwwww i c lol tell him to start practicin weddins lol
Engaged 27th November 2010
Hen Do Newcastle 2nd June 2012
Marrying the man of my dreams 11th August 2012!
Honeymoon To Jamaica 14th October 2012
CommentAuthorboo
A CofE vicar won't do catholic weddings and a priest won't do a CofE wedding. Catholic has nothing to do with it, yes they are stricter but not to point of getting that personal.
Can't wait to be Mrs Foster 21/06/2012 :D
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CommentAuthorbecky -mrs firth
mine did boo! he told us we where livin in sin, told my h2b he cant do communion until we r married thinks we been 2geva 2 long n shud be gettin married quicker lol
Engaged 27th November 2010
Hen Do Newcastle 2nd June 2012
Marrying the man of my dreams 11th August 2012!
Honeymoon To Jamaica 14th October 2012
CommentAuthorMrs (Dove) Pidgeon
There are some CofE parishes quite close to catholism- High churches. The parish I grew up in was one of them- banns was definately interesting. Saying that the staff were 100% modern and accepting of modern practises.
Now a extremely happy German housewife and now a Mother!!!!
Islay Jean born 24th June in Hannover.
CommentAuthorbecky -mrs firth
u kno wat i kno ure banns hav to b read out a few times............. but wat r banns LMAO i hav no idea
Engaged 27th November 2010
Hen Do Newcastle 2nd June 2012
Marrying the man of my dreams 11th August 2012!
Honeymoon To Jamaica 14th October 2012
CommentAuthorboo
thats not the type of personal questions that dee was asked. If you get married in a registry office you still can't do communion till you get it blessed in a church.
Can't wait to be Mrs Foster 21/06/2012 :D
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CommentAuthorbecky -mrs firth
edited
awww i c! i think seein vicar 4 first time is scary 2! he just asked us that n why we wanna get married i said cos we love each other....cringeeeeeeeee
Engaged 27th November 2010
Hen Do Newcastle 2nd June 2012
Marrying the man of my dreams 11th August 2012!
Honeymoon To Jamaica 14th October 2012
CommentAuthorMrs (Dove) Pidgeon
Banns replace notice if you marry in a CofE church. They read out your intent to marry three sundays in the church.
Now a extremely happy German housewife and now a Mother!!!!
Islay Jean born 24th June in Hannover.
CommentAuthorbecky -mrs firth
awww so catholic churchs dont do this?
Engaged 27th November 2010
Hen Do Newcastle 2nd June 2012
Marrying the man of my dreams 11th August 2012!
Honeymoon To Jamaica 14th October 2012
CommentAuthorMrs (Dove) Pidgeon
No. You need to give notice.
Now a extremely happy German housewife and now a Mother!!!!
Islay Jean born 24th June in Hannover.
CommentAuthorbecky -mrs firth
awww cool! was htinkin i had to do banns too lol
Engaged 27th November 2010
Hen Do Newcastle 2nd June 2012
Marrying the man of my dreams 11th August 2012!
Honeymoon To Jamaica 14th October 2012
CommentAuthorFreyFreyMrs.Carney2B
I agree - ask your vicar if he has any other contacts, and also ask him if it's normal to be asked those questions. It seems a bit bizarre to me!
CommentAuthorboo
I actually find the one night stand question really insulting. H2B would have had to get me out of there very quickly before my mouth ran away with me
Can't wait to be Mrs Foster 21/06/2012 :D
<<< LOOK! ITS A DICTIONARY!!!!
I'll be 9 when I get married....
CommentAuthorLisa Ramos
When I was researching getting married in a Church of England ceremony, I went of their official website. My partner has been divorced and they do want to know whether you are responsible for the break down of a marriage. I think the vicar in this case clearly has no people skills and probably the reason why he neer had his own parish! lol I would definitely speak to your usual vicar and ask if you can have someone else to perform the ceremony. I actually watched one Four Weddings, where the vicar mentioned the brides previous marriage, WTF!
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CommentAuthorLisa Ramos
When I was researching getting married in a Church of England ceremony, I went of their official website. My partner has been divorced and they do want to know whether you are responsible for the break down of a marriage. I think the vicar in this case clearly has no people skills and probably the reason why he neer had his own parish! lol I would definitely speak to your usual vicar and ask if you can have someone else to perform the ceremony. I actually watched one Four Weddings, where the vicar mentioned the brides previous marriage, WTF!
I love my lickle Ava
CommentAuthordee
Hey girls,
i rang my vicar, and explained to him what had happened this morning and he was really understanding and has said that he is going to find someone else to conduct our ceremony (what a relief). I think that he is angry witht he stand in vicar as he said that he is going to find a new one and then he shall have a word with the stand in , i said that this was not necessary and he said that it is as he is old enough and wise enough to know what should be said and when!!! I hope that i don't get him into trouble. . . Xx
Can't wait to become Mrs Hardwicke. . .
CommentAuthorboo
don't you dare think for one second you are responsible for him getting into trouble. Your usual vicar is right and you have done him a favour by speaking up and now he can find someone who does have people skills xx
Can't wait to be Mrs Foster 21/06/2012 :D
<<< LOOK! ITS A DICTIONARY!!!!
I'll be 9 when I get married....
CommentAuthorbride22feb2012
OMG - that is SOOOOO none of his business!
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CommentAuthorJilly17
those questions were so inappropritae! I am pleased your vicar is going to find someone else for you!
CommentAuthorGriff
They do ask some hard questions hun the cofe church is obsessed with s e x and past relationships. I am not looking forward to my grilling by our vicar :/ xxx
CommentAuthorXLittleMissMe!X
At least you are sorted now and can put your mind at rest. What an idiot! I would have told him to bog off and mind his own business.
CommentAuthorKatkin
Wow, he sounds horrible!! How rude of him - I definitely wouldn't want him to conduct my wedding :-(
CommentAuthorHunny Bunny
What a shame about the original vicar, he sounds great. I'm glad you were able to tell the vicar you weren't comfortable with his replacement, that couldn't have been easy, so big 'well done' to you. Hopefully replacement number 2 will be a nice as the original.
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CommentAuthormitch2509
how rude !!! thats awful
CommentAuthorHalloween_Bride
thats awful!! he had no right to ask you that, but so glad your vicar was understanding & is resolving the issue for you
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CommentAuthordee
I know i'm gutted that our usual vicar can't do it! And yes i was very nervous when i rang him, i didn't quite know how to put it so i just blurted out that i wasn't entirely comfortable with him. . .
