Wedding Forum - Who pays for what?...

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The Big Day > Wedding Etiquette: Who pays for what?

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- CommentAuthorKimberlee1
  
  edited
Hi im new to this Wedding thing i just want to know who has to pay out for what and as the bride (&groom) do we have to pay out for all wedding party? I have budgetted to buy all suits & dresses & accessories, but was thinking of coming to some sort of agreement with all involved to see if they would help out with costs. Is this a right thing to do or do you think im being cheap

14th August 2010 Engaged to Mister Matthews <3
17th August 2012 I'll be Missus Matthews <3
- CommentAuthorMrs (Dove) Pidgeon
Depends on everyones finances really.

We paid for everything, as we didn't think us getting marrried should be a fiancial burden on others, esp as they would have to pay for transport and hotels.

Now a extremely happy German housewife and now a Mother!!!!
Islay Jean born 24th June in Hannover.
- CommentAuthorpixie.bunny
Most of my friends and family are putting bits and bobs together as presents for us. However I am paying out for the majority of wedding xx
- CommentAuthorKimberlee1
Ok.. weve budgetted £10k for everything!!!!
Ive found a few dresses for BM's, was thinking i got dresses and they got shoes and etc.

14th August 2010 Engaged to Mister Matthews <3
17th August 2012 I'll be Missus Matthews <3
- CommentAuthorMrs (Dove) Pidgeon
Actually my BMs did get their own shoes, as I didn't mind what they wore.

I paid for dresses, hair accessory, hair, makeup and bag as those were what I wanted.

Now a extremely happy German housewife and now a Mother!!!!
Islay Jean born 24th June in Hannover.

- CommentAuthorMrsMac2B
we have......
h2bs parents paying £2500 towards venue
my granda paying for my dress
my uncle paying for photographer
h2bs aunt paying £140 for the honeymoon suite
my mum paying for the cake and personalised topper
bridesmaids offered to pay (one asked what she could help with so I asked her) for their own dresses BUT we are hoping to be able to pay for those ourself :)

but its only because people have offered, I wouldn't actually ask them to help :) x
- CommentAuthorMrsMac2B
we have......
h2bs parents paying £2500 towards venue
my granda paying for my dress
my uncle paying for photographer
h2bs aunt paying £140 for the honeymoon suite
my mum paying for the cake and personalised topper
bridesmaids offered to pay (one asked what she could help with so I asked her) for their own dresses BUT we are hoping to be able to pay for those ourself :)

but its only because people have offered, I wouldn't actually ask them to help :) x
- CommentAuthorpixie.bunny
Yea same here, people offered, I gratefully accepted... I've got quite a few discounts aswell for the people I know. My budget was originally £5k but so far it's coming in at £2k for a church wedding. Just hunting the bargains and shopping around has helped me do that. :) X
- CommentAuthorsbride
My way of thinking is that if your asking someone to be a part of your wedding party then you should provide everything for them to be involved. But you may find people will offer to help out with costs. I know they have in my case but I declined any money. But maybe if people do offer you should take it up.

I am now Mrs Stacey Stiles and loving it!
- CommentAuthorMrsMac2B
oh yeah meant to say, we have also been offered loads of discounts :D its amazing the amount of people that come forward and say they know such and such who could do something cheaper etc! xx
- CommentAuthorMrsMac2B
oh yeah meant to say, we have also been offered loads of discounts :D its amazing the amount of people that come forward and say they know such and such who could do something cheaper etc! xx
- CommentAuthorbecky -mrs firth
my ma n pa are payin for the dress n verything that goes wiv it cos thats the norm, £500 deposit 4 venue and cars
h2b mum says they wanna help but aint cum forward to say wat yet
sister is gettin cake
bridesmaids n best man /ushers buyin own outfit cos thats wat happens nowadays really and we paid 4 our outfits at their weddins!

Engaged 27th November 2010
Hen Do Newcastle 2nd June 2012
Marrying the man of my dreams 11th August 2012!
Honeymoon To Jamaica 14th October 2012
- CommentAuthorsam73
Me and h2b have paid for venue, church, my dress and the bridesmaids dresses, my parents are paying everything else, photographer, Dj, flowers, transport etc and h2b family said they would help with honeymoon but have not told us how much they are willing to give us yet- so can't plan for that yet....
- CommentAuthorUnknown
my mum is giving us £4500, and we are doing the rest. we are paying roughly £5500. xx
- CommentAuthorFaeth
There are traditions which say who should pay for what, but in this day and age, the reality is more that anyone can pay for anything, dependant on who can afford it, who wants to offer to pay for something, etc etc.

I think by tradition, the bride's father pays for the bulk of the wedding, and the groom pays for the honeymoon and the male attendants outfits, but in practice, the couple themselves end up paying for a fair amount these days, and various family members often chip in for various things, like for example I am paying for the bulk of our wedding, but MiL2b is giving us £1000, and my Mum is paying for the cake and some of the decorations.

"Of course I'm not wedding obsessed!!"
- CommentAuthorKaya
Up until yesterday I was paying for my bridesmaids dress.... but on Tuesday I asked my friend Gemma to be a bridesmaid (cos the previous 2 are no longer bridesmaids) and since then, my nan and her have both offered to pay for her dress.... hurrah!

Now Mrs Cobb!!!!!! :-D
- CommentAuthorUnknown
thats good news...gives you that money to put towards to something else xx
- CommentAuthorKaya
Orrr just means we have to find less money from somewhere.... I dunno how the hell we're gonna afford the wedding atm! lol. xx

Now Mrs Cobb!!!!!! :-D
- CommentAuthorUnknown
me either...im sure it will all come together in the end xx
- CommentAuthorKaya
Fingers crossed for us both! lol x

Now Mrs Cobb!!!!!! :-D
- CommentAuthorAmy_Bee
We're paying for everything apart from my wedding dress, that's my mum has kindly offered to buy for me. Traditionally I thinki it's the bride's dad that is meant to pay for most things, but my dad isn't in a financial position to do that and neither families are rolling in money, so we're happy to do it ourselves.

The soon to be "Mrs Bee"
4th August 2012 :)
- CommentAuthorLiz3yy
H2B and are expecting to pay for the whole wedding ourselves. My Dad is no longer with us and Mum is long term ill so they can't contribute. I wouldn't the "in-laws" to fork out either. If they offer to pay for part of it then great, but otherwise we will foot the bill, it is after all our wedding.

Can't wait until the day I become Mrs. Johnson :)
- CommentAuthorButterflyDreamer
#we are paying for most of it ourselves, my mum has offered to pay half the ceremony fee's for the church and my little brother (he's 21 lol) and his best friend who i also class as a little brother, are paying for the DJ between them One of my bm's and her OH were meant to be paying for transport but as he won't let me choose my car i've said i'd rather pay myself xx
- CommentAuthorLittle Kettle
Weird, I posted on here a couple of hours ago, but my post seems to have vanished! Oh well, here I go again...
We're paying for everything ourselves. My dad dies when I was 18 and my mum is on her own and living off state pension, so there is no way she can contribute, and we wouldn't expect her to. We've called in help from friends and family for some things to allow us to keep costs as low as possible and these are as follows:
My dress - my sister is doing alterations foc
My cake - my sister is doing our cake and giving it to us as our wedding present
Flowers and London venue decorations - my mum is making crystal bouquets and grooms button holes and will match these with decs for the London venue - she's paying for all this
London photographer - a friend of mine is trying to start up his own photography business and so has volunteered his services foc and we'll pay for his travel up from Hampshire
My shoes - my H2B's best man got married in Sept last year and his new wife is same size shoe as me so she's given me her gorgeous shoes!
BM's - we're paying for the dresses, but they're paying for shoes and accessories etc.
We're happy to do this ourselves. It also means we're in the fortunate postion of being able to have exactly what we want rather than feeling as though we may have to please parents that say 'but we're paying for that, so you should have it like this!', which I know can sometimes happen! x

Vegas baby!
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