My parents are divorced so i have my biological dad and my step dad. Im really close to both but have definatly grown closer to my real dad since i had my little girl a few years ago. So once i stared planning my mum started asking me who was going to give me away. I didnt say anything and she started saying how my step dad had been there for me more over the years and the rest of my family might not think its right to have my real dad give me away. Personally i want my real dad cause at the end of the day he is my dad and its his only chance my step dad is likely to get to do it with my sister. Im soooo worried about telling people my decision in case i do upset people..... any advice??? xx
Getting Married 27th November 2011
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CommentAuthorButterflyDreamer
Do what you feel is right hun, not what is right by other people. That's one thing i've learnt through planning my wedding xx
CommentAuthorsbride
Dont let anyone tell you what you should and shouldnt do for your wedding. I have learnt that the hard way. You have who you want huni, if they dont like it they will just have to deal with it x
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CommentAuthorlemlau
like you said he is your dad at the end of your day its your decision. Can you get your stepdad involved in some other way? get him to sign the register and also do a speech. obviously if you weren't close to him you wou wouldn't be asking him to do it.
I can't give you advise as such but reassurance.
Good Luck and i'm sure most people will respect your decision xx
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CommentAuthorHunny Bunny
If it feels right in your heart then do it, find the strengh to explain your decision but remember you dont always have to justify yourself. I've learnt one very important lesson and that is that ' I can't be held responsible for how other people feel', i've always tried to be sensitive and understanding but dealing with other peoples feelings is pressure... your heart will know whats best.
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CommentAuthorBeskiboo
I know exactly how you feel my mum remarried when I was 11. Mum had put the pressure on me too. I talked to her (as soon as I built up te courage to) and told her that the decision was mine and mine alone. I am having my Dad too and am going to ask my step dad to do a speech.
CommentAuthorlouise
Thanks for the good advice ladies. :)
Getting Married 27th November 2011
Il be Mrs Dobson!!! :D
CommentAuthorLaticschick Holland
don't think its right your mum has put that to you, like you said your dad is your dad. hope you are hppy with what your choose
CommentAuthorRags
My mum keeps telling me I shouldn't have my dad give me away.....I don't know who she thinks should (or who she thinks she is), maybe my big bro.....but at the end of the day I want my dad!
Could you have both father figures - or do they not get on/act civil to each other???
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CommentAuthorBrissy_Bride
It really is whatever you decide. A bride can choose *anyone* to give them away. At the end of the day, you want your father to give you away and you should never be made to feel guilty for that...
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CommentAuthorGregorysGirl
Not really adding anything that hasn't been said already, but it really is what you want at the end of they day, you shouldn't arrange your day around other people and what they think is right. The only thing I would say is to have a chat with your step dad and see that he is ok with it and that it doesn't mean you don't appreciate how much he has been there in your life. Communication with the the people involved means your mum can't twist anything as you will have sorted it out with your step dad first and you will have your real dad walk you down the aisle which is what you want. Wish you luck huni. xx
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I thought about having them both do it but im just not sure..... definatly wont be anybody else's decision. You ladies are all great. This site really helps :) xx
Getting Married 27th November 2011
Il be Mrs Dobson!!! :D
CommentAuthorGemLouise
it is your wedding day and you should do what feels right. i was in a similar situation but the other way round...mum and dad divorced...dad left the scene and was a three times a year, phone call once a week kinda dad growing up...we fell out and didn't talk for a few years...things have changed since and we are now talking and have grown closer but my step dad was there ALL the time growing up and brought me and my little sister up after my mum died and has helped me through all life decisions in more ways than one. my step dad hates my dad for reasons that are far too long and upsetting to describe on here but at one point he (my step dad) was refusing to come to the wedding if my real dad was there (i totally understood his reasoning for this but was a little upset at him for saying this)...it was the thought of him not being there and the thought of him not walking beside me like he has done for the past 20 years that was too upsetting to contemplate and so i asked him to give me away. i have since told my dad and he is very upset and has said that he won't attend the reception and will be at the back of the church and i will barely know he is there... i will be gutted to not see my real dad at the reception but also understand that it would be very hard for him. the whole situation taught me that at the end of the day it is YOUR wedding and you need to do whatever makes YOU happy! good luck with it all xxxxx
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CommentAuthorSweetyPie
I'm with Lalabunni. Family politics are hard but they should respect your decision. xXx
CommentAuthorgreyarea
Im sure your step dad will understand as its what you want
CommentAuthorloubylou
i am in exactally the same position, my step dad has bought me up from being 9 and i have grown closer to my real dad over the last few years. i didnt want to offend any of them so i asked my brother to give me away. im sure all concerned will accept your discision. x
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