Wedding Forum - Evil MIL ( rather long post sorry)...

My OH's family promised us £5000 for our wedding but after them trying to control everything we said we didnt want their money any longer. However, they agreed to still pay for our photographer which is fine with me and H2b, they then went on and said how we should put buses on for H2B's whole family as 'everyone will want to drink and if they have to make their own way there, they won't come' , this caused some problems between my and the H2B as i think people should be coming to see us get married not get wasted! His parents said they would pay for the buses so we eventually agreed to hire them. NOW though they have said that we are 'taking the pee' in wanting them to pay for the bus and Me and H2B should be paying for them and when H2B replied that we cannot afford £1200 for buses MIL replied ' well tell Cheryl's mum to put them on' - i really don't see why MY parents should pay for buses that none of my family is going to use, and my H2B agrees completely with this so he told his mum that there would be no buses as its not even a half hour drive to the venue and if people dont show up then fine. His mum is just off the phone and has called me and my mum 'selfish' for not willing to put buses on for her family. She doesn't seem to understand that we arent willing to pay for something that is of no use to anyone apart from that drunks in her family.

Please let me know if i am in the wrong here as me and H2b don't know what to do!

Oh dear. H2B's mum sounds like a spoilt brat!

Your not in the wrong, especially if the buses would make you £1200 poorer, if they want to get drunk they can pay for taxis home, or spend the night in ur venue (obv paying for it themselves) x

god what a moo bag.and this is goin to be your "mother-in-law" tut

juts like dove said...stick to ur guns..tell them they pay for the buses for THEIR family or there will be none at all...tough sh**!

on ur wedding invites include some local taxi numbers for that side of the family, thats not being selfish. SHE is the selfish one expecting you to put buses on for her family?! if they dont turn up because of this then they arent worth being there for your special day in the 1st place! bugger them! xxx

Your are not in the wrong at all,either they should all put the money towards it or not have it at all. Its not for your enjoyment its for other peoples. Just ignore her x

Why don't you suggest if your mum pays for her families transport, she pays for your from Australia?

Agree with the other ladies, you and your h2b should stick to your guns hun. If she wants the bus then she should pay for it. After all the actual purpose of coming to the wedding is to see her son marry the woman he loves not to solely get rat-faced.

Like Doves thinking too :oD.

Brilliant idea Dove!

i totally agree with u hun, if they want buses then maybe they should all club together for them. xx

thanks ladies for your help - cant wait to see his mums face when she finds out that she isnt getting her own way

haha

x

haha cheryl thats evil- but i like it hehe. I wouldnt pay for any of mine or h2b's family to get to and from the wedding and his family are coming from dorset to liverpool! dont know where they will stay the night before but 2bh thats not really our problem, they are adults and can sort those things themselves xx

my OH's mum expects so much from us though - she wants a free bar for the entire night, a full wedding band plus the buses. She says people will not enjoy themselves if they have to buy their own drinks but everyone is already getting 5 free drinks with our package. And over course she is not willing to put her hand in her pocket and pay for all the extras that SHE wants. As me and my OH are quite happy with our plans the way they are.

x

WTF????? Tell her she wants a free bar for her family then she pays for it!! Never heard anything as piggin stupid! I hope your H2B has told her that is not going to happen. This is your day, you do what you and you mister want and are happy with, everyone else attending is a bonus really but as long as the people that you want are coming stuff the rest of them!! People these days expect to buy there own drinks. 5 free drinks is a bonus! My party will involve people buying there own and if they dont want to then they dont have to come! Hope she starts to see sense soon. xx ((((((hugs)))))) xx

Thats why she has cash because she expects other people to buy her drinks on days/nights out, lol. No seriously chick i hope she comes round and sorry if i am too forward with my opinions, just really p's me off when people take the mickey! x

ltw979 - no you are not being too foward, you are just confirming what i thought was true anyway. That my MIl really is selfish and expect to get her own way all the time! She will be in for a major fight if she keeps it up. She has even told my OH's bratty little sister ( who is a bridesmaid) that if she doesn't like the dress i have picked she can wear a different one even though i have already said that she will be wearing the same dress as my other BM's, but she thinks her precious daughter shoudl be allowed to 'stand out' from everyone else.

x

why? its you who is supposed to be doing the standing out tell her if she does not wear what you want then she is not a bridesmaid any more!!!!

is it getting to the point where you can univite her

I think your MIL came from the same evil MIL farm as mine :D
If you stick to your guns now then she might just calm down eventually. I think all these demands like free bars, buses, different dress for her daughter etc are just beyond the ridiculous and to be fair if her family are only coming so they can get sozzled then you don't really want them there anyway!!

I did a 'reality check' for my MIL - I wrote down each and every last one of our costs onto a piece of paper (came to about 3k which we'll struggle with) and on a a separate piece of paper I wrote down each and every last little thing she wanted - it shot from 3k to 30k (seriously!!) So I told her if she wanted to donate 27k we'd happily put on the wedding of her choosing.........she shut up then :P

If they want it then they pay, if they don't want to pay then tell her to shove it where the sun don't shine ;)
xxx

Sorry to say it sounds like you're not going to win with this one :( The absolute best thing you can do is to go ahead with what you 2 want and say nothing to your MIL. If she asks again about buses/booze/whatever just smile sweetly and tell her you're going to see how funds look once you've booked all your essentials (ie church/civil venue, reception, dress, suits, photographers etc etc)

And to be honest - yes, the offer of £5000 is one thing, would that cover her demands? erm no! I've seen more reasonable 2 year olds
xxx

My top tip to help you 'smile sweetly'

Regardless as to how evil the old battleaxe is remember 1 thing, and it's VERY important - if it wasn't for the loony bint then your gorgeous wonderful hubby wouldn't exist for you to be marrying in the first place.
Trust me, it helps and at one point a few of the ladies on here said my MIL was quite probably the worst of the lot, though I think yours may well take the title of 'UKB's most awful MIL' :P
xxx

lol remembering you calling her a 'loony bint' will help as well :D

yeah i could actually believe she is the worst - she is just an awful person.

Shelley - i know, everyone else can understand it apart from her, its not as if the venue is miles away anyway. A 30 minute drive to see her son get married is not a big deal!

x

I can come up with some cracking names for her to help keep that grin plastered on your face ;) Like I say, just keep that one very simple fact in mind and you'll be able to deal with anything she throws at you!!
xxx

FPMSL heidianne - I might have to remember that one for my MIL :D xxx

lol Heidianne - oh i would love to do that to her, i think she would actually explode!

hahaha at least it would solve my problems

x

Rude! I would tell her to stuff it