Right, so Im in a well weird position.

One of our really good friends (who is also one of our witnesses) has a bit of an odd friend. We will call her X. X has known our friend for most of her life and their parents are friends. But X doesnt have many friends so tags along to everything our friend does, party, christening, bbq, shopping you name it, if she can get an invite shes the first one there and the last one to leave.
I think her social graces are terrible and at every 'do' she ends up getting attention for being upset/drunk/loud...whatever.
Our friend has tried to disociate herself from X since she hit her on a night out.... which I'm glad I didnt see!
She even invites herself to so many things, she has started being invited because shes always there anyway. She even calls my fiance's step mum 'auntie'!! (no relation whatsoever!!!!!)

Anyway, we are getting married in Kefalonia. So close family and friends only? YES. There are 30 people going out and X is most definitely NOT one of them.
She was clearly a bit miffed when she didnt get an invite, but due to her lack of social skills, thought it was appropriate to tell me that if my OH's step brother cant go, she will accompany his girlfriend to the wedding!!!???? Are you serious???
I responded with a simple "It's not really an open invite, and I don't think she (step bro GF) would come without him anyway."
Later she told me she cant afford it anyway.

THEN...she said she would miss out on a holiday with all 'her firends' and was really gutted. So she is pursuing my OH's cousin like a fly on poop and has been heard saying that she could then be his plus one!!!!
Again, I told her, he doesnt have the option of a plus 1 (he does but whatever).

NOW..... she has been "thinking" and has told our friend that she is going to come to Kefalonia anyway!!!! She doesnt want to miss out on this holiday "with everyone". So she will come on the holiday and stay in the same place as everyone and has said on the day of the wedding she will just chill on her own. And if she is there then it wont just be about the wedding- its her birthday too so we can all celebrate that too<<< her words!
IS SHE MAD????? I just dont understand how a person can be so persistent when we clearly havent invited her!? And what sort of human being would I be if she did end up on the holiday, and then I didnt invite her to the wedding!

I've planned other excursions for the wedding party and a pre-wedding meal and a little hen and stag as well.... i do not know what she is thinking??

Can someone please tell me Im not being a horrid person, and that this situation is just plain weird??!!!
I just don't know what to do.....

Hey,

Is X crazy!!!!! You're not being a horrid person at all! She's only a friend of a friend, so i don't why would she expects an invite in the first place. I can't believe she's even wanting to consider celebrating her birthday over there too! Stick to your guns, if you don't want her to be at your wedding, don't invite her.. even if she does end up there with you all on her own! Tell her there's not just going to be the wedding she can't come to, but other things you have already planned, so she is going to be on her own more than what she thinks she will be. I hope she gets put off the idea!! x

I would say she is purposely ignoring and misunderstanding 'subtle' hints, you need to just tell her it as it is!

What a psycho...maybe one of your other friends should talk to her? If she knows other people don't want her there it might put her off xx

Woah! She be a crazy person! You're not being unreasonable or a horrible person at all.

I personally think the only way to tackle this is to be really blatant with her - you're not invited to the wedding, nor will you be welcome at any of the pre or post wedding activities that have already been planned.

It won't be a particularly nice conversation to be had, but it will be honest.

Haha just keep slapping her til she listens!? Haha. I've tried telling her, but he finds a new way of being invited. There isn't a way! I can't believe someone can be so odd and not understand you are not invited!!!

Tell her she's going to have a very lonely 'holiday' as all her 'friends' will be doing pre and post wedding things with you as it's your wedding, which is far more important than her birthday!

Hmmm, maybe being straight is your only option as it sounds like she is purposely missing the obvious. she might be doing that in the hope that you wont be straight with her. Part of me does feel a little sorry for her, but it is your special day and i dont think someone should be allowed to ruin it. X

Oh! I want to see her!

Sounds like a nightmare I hate people like that! X

Oh dear. I know someone like this and I know she'll be offended when she finds out she's not invited.

I do agree with the other ladies though that you need to speak to her again. Could your mutual friend have a word too? Xxx

Haha Lala funny!
I think she sounds like a complete loony stalker that is that obsessed with missing out on something that she's 'not' gonna miss out on it so finding every reason she can to go! I think u need to get a couple of ppl together,sit her down and tell her in no uncertain terms that she is not invited and that if she does turn up she'll be left on her own all the time!.... Definitely don't invite her thinking you'll look the bad one, she's a complete psycho and she'll work the guilt tripping ... Don't be a pushover!

Wow !! Shes absolutely crazy cakes
Definitely do not invite her no matter how guilty you feel ! And dont tell her any of you pre or post wedding plans ! xxx

Oh wow, what a weird situation. Most of us would be clear with all you've already said that we wasn't invited but she obviously doesn't get it so I think the only option is to be harsh - or get the friend she tags along with to make it clear to her?
I'd stress until she understands it isn't a 'holiday' it's a wedding - it's just happening abroad instead of up the road.

If she's a proper fruit cake stalker - last resort - I'd lie. Different date, different place

Lol! I like mrsVDL2b's suggestion! :-D

But yeah, her behaviour is plain weird. She clearly has no sense of boundaries or social etiquette, or that a wedding is not a holiday!!

What a complete and utter fruit loop. This isnt someones bday holiday or friends holiday, this is your wedding!

I know you dont want to come across harsh and tbh i would be exactly the same, i wouldnt have a clue what to do with this situation.
You need to speak with your OH and to be perfectly honest your friend...and see what she has to say. she may be able to convince her 'odd friend' that theres a lot planned so theres going to be a lot more alone time than shes bargaining for and if that doesnt work you need to be completely honest and blunt... as horrendous as that sounds, you may end up having to tell her straight.
As others have said she may dislike/hate you for it, but even you have said shes a friend of a friend, and even your friend is trying to get her off your case...

good luck hun xx

I'm so glad everyone thinks the same as me!! The strangest thing is I have told her she isn't invited, three times!! Lol.
My sister said she would steal her passport and one of my other bridesmaids would plant something in her bag hahaha. But if it gets as far as the airport I've lost my case!!
I'm just praying my OHs cousin doesn't give in and get with her!
I can't get why she wants to be there so much, I have only ever met her at parties that she managed to tag along to! I'm sure if she did come she would start calling my dad uncle graham or something. Ahhhh what a weirdo!!! Lol xx

omg she is very weird, why would anyone do this when they are clearly not welcome. It's your wedding and not a friends holiday. lol love some of the comments on here.
On a serious note you definitely need to be honest and straight with her.

lol you could always tell her your staying at the opposite end of the island and get her to book a hotel there, that way you will never see her and see will not be at your wedding.

xx

I like MrsvanderLee2B's suggestion too !!!! xxx

i still say just Slap her