I'm having three adult bridesmaids - or possibly four (if my sister changes her mind) - my best friend (MOH) and my two other closest friends. That's fine, no problem there, a nice number.
However, there are 11 little girls in my life (my two nieces, H2B's six nieces and my three god-daughters), who at the time of the wedding will range from the ages 3-10 (thus all suitable ages to be flower girls or junior bridesmaids).
I can't see a way of choosing between them, so how I see it is, I either have all 11 of them OR I don't have any (and just have the adult BMs).
However, I know my brother wouldn't be happy if I didn't ask my nieces, and if I asked them, then I'd have to ask H2B's nieces or it would cause eruptions with his family. And then there are my god-daughters, who are a very important part of my life, so I couldn't ask all the nieces and not them.
Any opinions/advice would be most welcome.
NB: If only I had fallen in love with a man who didn't have any nieces, then it would be much simpler!
I know it's bonkers - but it's just a nightmare situation - I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't!
CommentAuthormillz090
Its really up to you as your day..... luckily we only have 3 nieces between us and 1 of them is 1 month old so didn't have to worry too much so just having 2. However i think 11 is alot to manage and get ready in the morning and actually as beautiful as flower girls/bridesmaid look they are there really there too look good as dont really have a job on the day as too young. They will look cute in the pictures but just think of the costs too as alot of dresses to buy and not always that cheap. You got nephews? will they want to be involved too? May be miffed that their sisters are involved and they arent? xxx
Finally marrying the love of my life !!
10th August 2013 - 9 years to the day we met !
CommentAuthorInDreamland
Oh goodness, I don't envy you.
I agree, it's bonkers! I'm only having 2 adult BMs (sister is MOH/CBM and best mate is BM) then 1 flower girl H2B's niece. That's enough for me.
It'll be expensive and also carnage on the wedding day trying to organise them all!
Good luck x
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
Millz - that's the issue as well - plenty of nephews and godsons too!
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
he have 4 nieces 1 nephew and my 3 daughter and one son between us ......we refused to have Mr lala`s nieces as we would then have to have mine and we thought that having my 3 daughters was enough! did it cause problems? yes it did because of our choice Mr lala`s mother said she wouldn't come to the wedding .....so she didn't come , at the end of the day its YOUR wedding ... not an event where you have to make choices just to keep others happy
You know what, having seen it all typed up like this, I realise how bonkers it sounds.
It seems to have given me epiphany - I know I can't have all 11 - so I'm going to just ask my two nieces (they're twins and will be 4 when I get married) to be flower girls. That's it.
H2B's nieces have all been bridesmaids at least twice before, my nieces haven't been, although admittedly they're only 2 at the moment.
CommentAuthorShazk
Lala I think U totally right at end of the day like Lala said its ur day and yes will always cause issues but I think that many is madness x x
Away with the flutterbys xxx
CommentAuthorMargaretH85
edited
NB: I now understand why people elope!!
CommentAuthorMrsGothBride
Thats twice as many as my whole wedding party and guests put together lol.
It would be my worst nightmare but each to their own, if you have the mony and the patience then why not.
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CommentAuthormillz090
We had same dilemma - 4 nephews and 2 nieces but nephews are 16, 13, 6 and 3 and the older 2 were not interested so that was easy and the younger 2 both their dads are ushers so we decided to dress them in the same suits but be mini-ushers rather than page boys so stand with their dads in the church meaning i don't have too look after them and get them ready - could you do something similar?
As for the bridesmaid, you have to have what and who you want and its not down to your brother really. I do however think its mean to have some and not all so you need to decide. I struggled finding dresses for a 9 and 11 year old as they aren't flowergirls as too old but equally young junior bridesmaids. I wanted to keep costs down on dresses but everything too young or too old. In the end i found them simple white summer dresses in Next and added a red bow so all matches in but i really struggled unless you get them made but then expensive, maybe £50 per dress?! Maybe leave it for a while, you dont have to decide now as plenty of time and see if anything is said by any of their parents but personally i think 11 is madness and be a headache xxx
Finally marrying the love of my life !!
10th August 2013 - 9 years to the day we met !
CommentAuthorInDreamland
The dresses are expensive too! Our FG dress is almost £100! Then there's the shoes, little hairband, socks/tights and something to hold. One FG was enough given the BM's are also expensive.
Good decision Margaret. xx
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorMargaretH85
Millz - I like that idea, of being mini-ushers, very much. I think I'll borrow that.
I'm going to leave it a while, before cementing any decisions, the only reason I actually started thinking about it is because my mum asked me if I'd thought about "little bridesmaids." I bet my brother had put her up to it!
CommentAuthormillz090
Just dont rush into anything.... we were tempted to invite everyone to be involved but glad we thought about it and waited and many girls say that on here, regret asking people as they are rushed into it or feel pressured. The 2 twins sounds a nice idea, plus younger so get the aw factor more. Plus 2 is soooo much easier to get ready. You need to be concentrating on yourself on your wedding morning and your bridesmaid want to be helping you and not running around after 11 children, especially if not their own kids too?!
Finally marrying the love of my life !!
10th August 2013 - 9 years to the day we met !
CommentAuthorLauraJo87
Lol yeah, I wouldn't like to be getting eleven giddy little girls ready on the morning...xx
My Beating Heart Belongs To You
30 August 2013
The First Day Of My Happily Ever After
CommentAuthorRachaelC80
That's crazy, crazy but would also look pretty cool :-) If you have the time, patience and money I say go for it!!!!
If you don't have the money to pay for all the outfits can you not ask the parents to dress the children in similar colours to what you're having?? They can still walk before you down the aisle??
You could make the girls wands instead of having flowers(cut down the costs) Or teddy bears??
:-)
CommentAuthoralmost a year wife!!
Lol I think ur mad!!!
Ill marry my hero
CommentAuthorJanie
no it isnt bonkers! i say if you want that many do it, who cares? its YOUR day and i LOVE big wedding parties personally, weve got 16 in ours all tolled, and i would had more if we knew anyone else worthy of asking lol. it'll look awesome in photos and i truly think kids make the day, i love thier unpredictability, as long as theyre trusted to be well behaved that is lol
Remember : To the world you may be just one person,
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CommentAuthor*KelBel*
Yes lol I thought I was bonkers having 4 adults and 3 little ppl... Xx
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CommentAuthorLaura JaneW
Defo a lot! I say go for adults only and just explain there are too many children!
CommentAuthorMariephiz
If Kate Moss can do it, why not?! pictures would look fab, but very costly and awkward to organise on the morning! x
CommentAuthorLulu1388
Bonkers doesnt cover it to be fair! utter madness but theres nothing wrong with a bit of madness!! but like you say, now you've seen it written down maybe have a sit down and a think. im sure that everyone wil understand whatever you decide! xx
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CommentAuthorx~Hails~x
edited
I'm in the same situation but not as many lol I wanted my nieces involved as well as my girls but couldnt include them with includeing h2b's nephews (its nice how mine are girls and his are boys lol) luckily mine are all different ages from 3 to 19 so we will have 3 bridesmaids 1 junior 1 flowergirl 3 pageboys and 2 ushers lol
I personally say YES it is bonkers but if thats what you want then why the heck not? Do they all have to be bridesmaids? can you give them different jobs ie the older ones do readings or have female ushers Perhaps ask the parents to help with dress cots as well...your gonna need a little help if they are ALL involved although for that many places may give you a bit of a discount hopefully!
Either way I think it will look fab, if the americans have 12, 15, 20 bridesmaids etc then why can't we ;-)
Just remember we want pictures of on the day hehehe
flower girls 1.jpg
flowergirls 2.jpg
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CommentAuthorMrs-Mouse-2-be
Its too many,I can't even begin to imagine what getting ready is going to be like lol. The expense would be an issue for me as well.
CommentAuthorVelcro
That would be an absolute nightmare getting ready hahaha
If it were me, I just wouldnt have any at all as that is just too much. I'm not the most child friendly of people though, so Id not even consider it. All you would have to say is you cant pick one over the other etc, and it's not feasable to have that many but you obviously care about them all equally.... urgh, I dont envy you one bit lol
HOWEVER, if you think it's manageable, and YOU like the idea, then why the hell not just go for it? It will certainly be memorable. But for me, it wouldn't be memorable for the right reason. I want to be the centre of attention, not all these children all dressed the same looking 'adorable' stealing the show.
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CommentAuthorMrs Jones
Hehe your BONKERS!!! :p x
Got together - 05.11.2006 <3
Engaged - 05.11.2009 <3
Married - 22.05.2013 <3
CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
Someone from work was one of 15 bridesmaids once. I think it was her cousin and she had all the female cousins etc as bridesmaids. If you are crazy enough then go for it but don't let yourself be 'bullied' into it just because your brother would not be happy.
Our wedding day - 6 October 2012
CommentAuthorJanie
i dont understand personally why so many people are so negative about this? It's all down to personal choice and as I say i LOVE big wedding enterages. Were having 3 flower girls, 3 pagebpys / junior ushers, 6 bridemsaids and 6 ushers, and 2 people giving each of us away....
it's YOUR day so have what you want, the photos would look amazing!
Remember : To the world you may be just one person,
BUT to one person you may just be THE WORLD x x x
CommentAuthorMel D
I agree it's personal choice ... for me it would be a nightmare second only to being trapped in a room with 11 massive spiders!
Got married Sat 28/05/2011
Renewing vows Sat 29/05/2021
We're planning WELL in advance!!
CommentAuthorPenguinJ
My mum had 11 or so bridesmaids when she got married! All my cousins lol I would love to if I could afford it but just having oh twin adult sisters xxx
So lucky to be marrying my soulmate on 18/07/20
CommentAuthorBobsi
Wow that's a lot. I thought I had it hard trying to decide between having friends and family or just family as bridesmaids.
I personally wouldn't have more than 4 and would tell everyone I wasn't having anyone younger than 18.
Everyone is different and I'm sure if you wanted 14/15 then it would be fabulous for you on your day but if you don't then don't be pressured into it.
Xx
Got together June 11th 2006
Getting married June 11th 2014
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CommentAuthorTatty
That is a lot of bridesmaids however if it's what you want and you can afford it then why not! x
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Lala I think U totally right at end of the day like Lala said its ur day and yes will always cause issues but I think that many is madness x x
