neither of my or my fiancee's parents are together anymore. both his parents and my father are remarried however my biggest worry is that they wont behave at the wedding. last year when we were discussing the prospect of getting married; i mentioned the conversation to my mum who told me that if my Dad was there, she wouldn't but since then she has come round to the idea. i personally want to speak to all the parents and let them know it's their choice if they want to come but if they feel they can't behave, then they'll be asked to leave (agreed with fiancee) however i'm not quite sure how to direct this in as much of a sensitive way as i can towards my mother, any ideas?

i think its ridiculous when parents refuse to behave, you think they would be old enough and mature enough.
h2bs parents havent been in the same room togther since they divorced years ago, and mil2b has said she will come to wedding but might not come to anything after.
Tell everybody its ur day and u want them to put their differences to one side for one day, and if they cant do that then dont come xxxx

I would just say it like that, then she knows your not messing.... im quiet blunt with my mum, i love her she knows that but i wont wimper to her... personally i would just be straight up and stern about it, ruin my day and your out!!!

Oh god nicola....not good....id have to have the ground open up and swallow me if my mum did that. xx

i think my problem is that i always manage to put my foot in my mouth and i can be a bit too blunt...it's just i can't be bothered to deal with my mum's silent treatment and tears if i am too blunt

I haven't spoken to much of my family for many years (long, not v happy story) and reading some of these posts and the cr4p that families cause on what is supposed to be the happiest day of YOUR life, I am so glad I ditched them all.
I am a believer that it is your day and everyone should do what you want for 1 day whether they want to or not. (Within reason) There are so many bridesmaid's telling brides what they will and won't wear, parents refusing to talk to children because they weren't consulted on colour of buttonholes etc and people generally getting annoyed because you have decided to do something they wouldn't have or don't agree with.
I say, to h3ll with them all. Do what you want and if they don't like it, don't come!
If they really wanted the best for you they would do as asked.

My mum and sister aren't speaking and managed to avoid each other for the whole day - my parents haven't spoken for 20 years but were civil on the day - they can do it when they try and I hope you will be as lucky