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Wedding Forum - Wish we did it abroad!...

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  1.  
    • Candy-Bob
      CommentAuthorCandy-Bob
      Posted: Mar 31st 2015
     
    I just wish we went abroad to get married, this is what I wanted in the first place, but my H2B said he wanted it to be a family thing. So fair enough, but now even he wishes we could, he said if we could get all the money we've paid back he would do it.

    This is because people are not bothered about our wedding and if it doesn't concern them they just don't care! I have paid alot of money on bridesmaid dresses, accessories etc, and they are not even thankful! They think that we have all the money in the world, they really don't understand how much weddings cost, now I'm just getting depressed and ill!
    I was getting so stressed about them being happy I was having nose bleeds like everyday and headaches. Still that didn't seem to bother them.

    No one has asked about what my dress looks like or even how the wedding planning is going (apart from my mum and step mum). That might sound selfish but its my wedding, and I feel that people are trying to outshine me if you understand that? aha
    They only get interested in the wedding if its about their dressers or hair, or only bring it up if its about them.
    When we went shoe shopping, I asked if they could look for high heels so I wouldn't have to pay for dress alterations, first of all everyone there apart from me and H2B didn't even want to be there, then as soon as I start walking away I get sla**ed off!

    Also people are telling me that they need to tell me on the day of the wedding if they are actually coming, fair enough they are ill I understand, but they need to understand that I'm paying £30 per head and that I could invite someone else instead of wasting the money. This really does make me sound selfish, I am not a selfish person lol. I feel like people are coming for a party and to get drunk more then to celebrate our marrige, if you get me?
    The wedding is in 25 days, I should be incredibly excited but I just feel let down and deflated.
    My Hen Do is next weekend, and im not even existed about that either.
    Any ideas how I can cheer myself up?
  2.  
    • michgib
      CommentAuthormichgib
      Got married 18 months ago
      Posted: Mar 31st 2015
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
      edited
     
    You don't sound selfish at all you sound very stressed out and upset. I would be too if I was in your position. Dont let everyone get to you you need to relax and enjoy yourself you should be over the moon planning and shopping not feeling the way you do.
  3.  
    • Mrs D2B
      CommentAuthorMrs D2B
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Mar 31st 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Oh hunny sound's like your having a hard time of it. First things first for those telling you they can't tell you whether or not they will attend until the day, tell them unless they give you a yes answer now you will assume they are not coming and will invite someone else in their place, meaning that if they do decide on the day that they want to come they will only be able to some to the evening reception. I know it sounds harsh but your going to need to take a little control here to help yourself.
    Your bridesmaids... if they don't like the decisions you have made for them (decisions which you are paying for) they have 2 choices 1- put up and shut up and do it with a smile or 2- wear what they want as a regular guest.
    I can understand why you are upset about people not asking about your dress but this may not be because they're not interested it may just be so they don't spoil the surprise. I have never asked any of my friends about their dress before their big day, I have never even thought to do so, I like the anticipation of wondering what they will look like and then seeing how beautiful the are on the day.
    I hope things get better for you soon. Please stop worrying so much about the other people, there is only 2 people who's happiness on your special day and that's you and your h2b, the rest are just a bonus. Good luck xx

    Members signature icon
    31/12/2017 A New Year, A New Life, A New Husband and Wife


  4.  
    • Emmilou82
      CommentAuthorEmmilou82
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Mar 31st 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     


    I think Mrs D2B has pretty much summed it all up there. Try not get get too stressed hun, your day will be perfect with or without fussy folk x

    Members signature icon
    Marrying 'The One' on 30th July 2016
    I am now Mrs Emma Stokoe xx

  5.  
    • Mrs T Hurley!
      CommentAuthorMrs T Hurley!
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Mar 31st 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I really feel for you hun and am sending virtual hugs . I second what mrs D2B says! X

    Members signature icon
    Met 18/09/03
    Engaged 06/09/08
    Getting married 05/09/17
  6.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Got married 7 years ago
      Posted: Apr 1st 2015
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    MrsD2b

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  7.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Apr 1st 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    OMG what a bunch of selfish people.

    I agree, tell those who say they cannot tell you until the day that if they cannot confirm, then you will take it its a no and someone else will take their place. I found this out from when 5 people never turned up for ours even though they were, we lost a lot of money that day due to them.

    The bridesmaids, I think you need to get them together and have a chat with them, tell them it is costing a lot of money to make them part of your day, if they are not grateful about it then you would ask if they could step down from their position.

    You need to start being firm with them and not letting them walk all over you. Hard though if you are not that kind of person.

    Members signature icon
    Our wedding day - 6 October 2012


  8.  
    • RachaelB76
      CommentAuthorRachaelB76
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Apr 2nd 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    hope it all sorts out and you get to start being excited about planning again. everyone says the final month before is the most stressful. use the hen do for a chance to relax. everyone is going to celebrate u getting married xx




  9.  
    • Candy-Bob
      CommentAuthorCandy-Bob
      Posted: Apr 13th 2015
     
    Had my hen do on Saturday, it was a total disaster. Went for a meal my aunt was already drunk, and was arguing with staff, and refused to eat anything, I paid for 3 fish bowels I had 1 sip out of (£10 each), no one offered to put money towards. Then my drunk aunt started on everyone saying she has no family and shes not coming to the wedding now (because i couldn't invite her 2 over 40 yo kids to the main part) and she even said it yday she still wasnt coming, now i have 2 spare seats which i can not fill because almost everyone coming to the evening had pulled out from my side of family, I literally have 6 people coming to the night now out of 27.
    So anyways back to the hen do ... We was supposed to be going on a pub crawl, we ended up in a pub for 2 hours, and my BM kept asking to go clubbing, i kept saying not yet cos my older family didnt wanna go and to be totally honest i was happy sitting in pubs, but she kept nagging all night, then her mate showed up and she left me alone. She was sat in there with a few others without a drink for most the night, I ended up buying them a couple drinks just so they had one! I paid for taxi there was 11 of us, supposed to be 1.50 each I paid it all. My best mate threw up outside so we all had to leave, me my mum and sister stood with her and made sure she got in a taxi. But everyone else just left and went to a club, so I was very peed off! I went and sat back in a bar then just said to my mum and sis, im too annoyed now i just wanna go. So went home at 11pm.

    Now my H2B is saying we need to find someone to replace 2 seats on main day, and im getting angry and stressed, i was nearly sick, was sat crying for about an hour i just want it all to be over now, hes saying that we should invite his brothers new GF which ive spoke to twice, and change all the seating plan around, ive already brought the table plan which cost over 40 pound, he thinks its just easy to change stuff and ive said no were not doing it, and he went on a rant saying id rather invite her then loose money. and people are wondering why im still peed off with em about hen night. and to top all this off i had to have my 1 year old cat put to sleep on friday which broke my heart. So really not feeling it anymore. We have no money for our honey moon, as my dog impaled herself on a stick 3 weeks ago had to pay £350 for that, then my cat got sick paid to try and save him costed £400. Its all just gone crap, and im just getting more and more wound up everyday. My mum keeps saying dont worry about anyone but you and my H2B but obviously its not that simple!
    Rant over. Feels good to get it all off my chest
  10.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Apr 13th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Sorry to hear you didn't enjoy your hen! It's a real shame but onwards and upwards now.. regardless of who is there and who isn't, you and your OH will still have the best day ever and it will be just perfect! All the stress etc will be worth it once you are husband and wife :)

    Sorry to hear about your cat and your pooch :( xx

    Members signature icon
    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  11.  
    • SallyJ59
      CommentAuthorSallyJ59
      Posted: Apr 13th 2015
     
    We did it abroad and it was great but booooooy was it expensive, and we are kind of regretting it a little now as a year latter we are still shelling out for the final costs. here's a tip for a cheaper wedding, don't have it abroad, maybe look to a countryside venue away from London, also speak to a decent bespoke catering company and see what they recommend venue wise. my brother used Kudos Know How as they were recommended and he asked the what cheap venues they knew about, they in-turn knew loads and got a discount because of referral fee. they saved a bunch and got a not to bad bespoke menu thrown in.
  12.  
    • Candy-Bob
      CommentAuthorCandy-Bob
      Posted: Apr 13th 2015
     
    Lol. were not actually going abroad sally, just wish I did. If I were to re do it, id get married in a registry office, then go away for 2 weeks in america! I wouldn't let anyone come and it would be so stress free.
    Sounds amazing!
  13.  
    • Teresa
      CommentAuthorTeresa
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Apr 13th 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Candy-Bob im so sorry to hear you are going through this, it really shouldn't be like this for you, some people just don't care!
    sending you massive hugs, hope you have the best day ever xx
 
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