Ugh, I am getting close to not coming to my mum's house until the wedding is over and done with.

I'm a bigger girl and trying hard to lose weight for when I start trying dresses on next year. I have to admit I'm really scared of that whole part of the wedding preparations starting, mainly because I'm scared of being laughed out of the store, and scared of what sort of attitude the sales assistants will have with me.

H2B works as a carer for my mum and does night care duties, and when we're here over night she almost always gets takeaway in. Last night she got pizza in and I said that I didn't want any, and I got accused of being miserable and stroppy because I said no again when she offered me a couple of slices that she didn't want.

Does she not get it that I'm literally terrified at the thought of trying on dresses, that I want to look as good as I possibly can for H2B, and that takeaway pizza isn't going to help in achieving that.

I've told her my fears, yet she says I'm being silly.

I'm having trouble getting my focus in gear, as one week I can be really good with food and exercise and then the next I just have no will power or motivation, and being told that I'm being miserable just because I don't want her left over pizza isn't helping in the slightest!!!

Hey, I kinda know how you feel in once sence as i've piled on the weight since having my daughter 2yrs ago and haven't lost any (if anything i've gained more) and i keep saying i want to loose weight for my big day etc but at the end of the day dont worry yourself with regards to dieting because it will only upset you and stress you out, well done for trying to manage what you eat but dont get upset if you slip up and eat something bad, yes it affects your weight target but you cant force your body into something it isnt used too as it can make it difficult for you to budge the weight, so allow for the occasional mistake we aint perfect people and your h2b loves you no matter what. And with regards to dress trying on, i am someone who is paranoid about my size and my looks etc but when i went an tried dresses on, the shop assistants were great and make you feel comfortable and finding "The One" changes how you first see yourself, when i had my chosen dress on, i looked in the mirror and thought "wow i look stunning" so it dont matter your size there is a dress out there that will make you forget about it and make you feel gorgeous no matter what. xx

I have a similar thing with H2B, I'm trying to exercise. He says that's fine and then complains while I'm doing it and he keeps offering me his leftover food 'cos he knows that I hate to waste food.
I've told him that I want to lose weight for me , not the wedding and also as we are going to try to start a family, being overweight is bad for me and unborn child.


p.s. I have put on 4 stone since my profile picture which coincided with me going out with H2B!
:0(

It just upsets me as she knows why I want to lose the weight, but then to be called stroppy just because I don't want 2 leftover slices of pizza is really upsetting.

I think some time away will do me the world of good just to be able to focus on myself for a few days

I know exactly how you feel lovely, I too am a bigger girl and needed to lose weight before the wedding! I was terrified of being laughed out of shops as I was a size 20 when I got my dress. I've lost a stone but I've only lost one size and I look so much better and feel so much happier. I know its difficult when people aren't being supportive but ignore them and you keep at it! There's nothing better than seeing that change in the mirror - you don't need people to be supportive but it does help. Be determined, and don't let her get you down.
And trust me, if you go to the right shop, you'll have just as wonderful an experience as all the other ladies :o)
Good luck and don't let her get you down :o) xxxx

Well keep trying hun, if it makes you happy she'll be able to see that soon enough, in the mean time why don't you offer to cook for you all the nights you stay over! xx

can totally understand how it makes you feel ... even knowing i'm not so big but even though trying to loose a bit of weight myself and I know its hard to be strong etc... to have the right will power for each day/ week/ months and yes I did hear some terrifying stories from other girls who were a bit bigger that they got looked at... and I think its not nice and i really dont understand the bridal stores as also those brides with a bit more weight a potential customers and have a right to be treated the same and I do understand that u wanna be the one or other dress size smaller to just feel perfect on your special day :) and u just need to be strong in your mind and stay strong no matter what those ppl. or your mum are saying you do it for yourself!! hope they get it in there heads hun and good luck to u!!! xxxxx

Ok lets go back to the start here. You are getting married because your h2b loves you. Now he loves you for who you are and the way you look right now. He doesn't want to end up with a bride that is upset because she can't eat x.y.z or is stressing about what she looks like. Yes your mum is out of order to say you are being stroppy over the pizza incident but that isn't the big problem. You need to learn to like yourself the way your h2b likes you. Sod what other people think. It is your wedding after all so therefor you are inviting people that like you and wouldn't dream of laughing at you?

As for bridal shops there are loads about that treat you like a princess and will go out of their way to help you. I managed to find one. It isn't as bad as what you think it will be so take a deep breath and start to enjoy planning your wedding. If you really want to lose weight then go for it but don't put yourself under pressure that you have to do it or you will crack under the stress and fail. Just take the attitude if I lose a bit great but it isn't the end of the world if I don't cause I will still look amazing.

I would say the biggest part of getting a wedding dress is getting the right dress for your body. I've had some on that make me look awful and twice the size that I am while others make me look slender and hides all the bad parts. Try on different styles until you find a dress that suits you. They are out there.