I have a total of 6 BMs and 2 of them are his mates.
I really wish i hadnt of been nice and asked them to be my BMs.
Theyre not making any effort, they havent even seen our new house (which we've lived in for a year), theyre BOTH saying they cant afford my hen do (which is july!!!!), they both just want to give me their measurements rather than come up here and try on dresses with my other BMs and I hardly know them.
But obv i cant jsut sack them off cos theyre his mates.
He has said something to them about the hen do but theyre both stil saying they cant afford it! Yet if they saved only 10/15 quid a month they cud???? But they can obv afford to go out at least once a week on the drink etc etc
Aaaaaaand to top it all off its my bday on xmas eve, last year neither of them gave me a card or a pressie and this year ive actually gotta be down theirs for xmas (meaning going down there on my bday) and i just know not 1 of them will bother with me for my bday!
Im just down about it all :(
xx
Happily Married! :) xxx
CommentAuthorangelan1986
just sack them off, they are his mates not yours, and as for them not coming to your new house my best mate hasnt bothered coming to mine either. just got to put your foot down. i dont even think my mate will be getting an invite 2bh x
CommentAuthorb2bnicola
its hard cos of his mates her bf is my h2bs best man and their 2 sons are our pageboys!
am just down about it today!
x
Happily Married! :) xxx
CommentAuthorOneDayMrsSmith
I'd get rid, you want people you can rely on and trust, and people who will be there for both of you on the day, you don't want the hassle of them messing you around when you have so much else to worry about! x
CommentAuthorJane
OK. I think its time to get tough. Give them an ultimatum. Say you are going to go out looking and choosing dresses this weekend and if they dont come they wont be bridesmaids. Saying they cant afford a hen night that far in advance just shows that they are not that bothered, and if they arent bothered, dont be bothered with them. Surely your H2B will back you up as he can see that they are just wasting your time.
And why have you got to go to your H2Bs mates house for xmas? Its your birthday, you should spend it how you want. Time to get tough, stand up for yourself and do what YOU want.
ps. Bridesmaids in my opinion should be close to the bride, emotionally speaking, its an honour to be asked. They are taking the P*s*
oh ok that makes it a bit harder. i wouldnt be too bothered if any of my family or friends couldnt make my hen night cos 2 me its not a big thing but if they cant even be bothered to come down and try the dresses on i would be livid. they might not understand that to you it is a big thing, you might just have to say something in a jokey way and see if they get the hint xx
CommentAuthorJane
You say 'its hard cos of his mates her bf is my h2bs best man and their 2 sons are our pageboys!'
Doesnt mean to say she should be priviledged enough to be bridesmaid. She could just be a 'normal' guest.
CommentAuthorb2bnicola
Well we do one xmas at my family and one at his (we live 5 hours away from his family n friends) So theyve all said if we travel down on xmas eve *my bday* to be there for xmas day then on the night time of my bday we'll do something to celebrate but i know we wont cos last year we sed we'd go out on the 27th for my bday and they ended up saying they had no money so we stayed in!
Yeah im going to have to try and tell them straight in a jokey way or serious but i need to say sumthing i think! xx
Happily Married! :) xxx
CommentAuthorlittlemisssunshine
i kno how u feel i have only got one but i sacked the 1st one as i hadnt spoke to her 4 ages i have ased a diff friend if she wanted to be it and i havnet hurd anything from her since i asked her im so annoyed lol i wiah i hadnt bothered with having one lol
CommentAuthorLittle Miss Bump
I agree with Jane, if you tell them ur shopping for the dress be there or they are not bm's then ur not just cutting them out without giving them a chance, and ultimately giving them the decision whether or not to be bm
CommentAuthorMRS WILKINSON
Just tell them the option is to come down and get measured for the dresses or dont.... just say they wont take the measurements unless someone lives abroad etc... that is true i know in my shop we dont. Thing is they are his mates, yes they are girls but its all the same, how many brides on here can say they are really close to their h2b mates, i know im close to 1 or 2 maybe but then the rest are just mates and i think im an exception to being close to two of them. And i know that my h2b mates would let me down or not make an effort but in this case like someone said they should be honoured as they have been asked to be your bm's.
Dont make a big of just saying 'picked the bridesmaids dresses, they are lovely, one thing the shop did say though is they do need you in for measuring. so we need to arrange for you to come up and be measured.'
if they say they cant then say something like 'arrh well thats a shame would have liked you to be bridesmaids but if you really cant come up its rough really as the shop really wont budge on the measuring thing.'
if its a shop like ours we will go along with your plan. but tbh if you put it to them like that lets hope they just say no sorry cant, so ur not binning them its the shop taking control of the situation and then there is no akwardness!
As for the xmas thing it sucks!
CommentAuthorsabs
Hun just sack them i know you say you cant as they are mates but i sacked mine who is my cousin and we were so close like sisters more than cousins but she wasnt helping all she done was moan and expected me to go out of my way on my wedding day to collect her.
CommentAuthorMagsy
your day your way!! if they aren't prepared to make an effort they don't deserve the privilege!!
CommentAuthorloubie100
I would defo say something hun, at the end of the day they should go out of their way to be able to make your hen night if not then they defo dont deserve to be your bms x
CommentAuthorprincess_alicia
thats disgusting that they cant afford to come to your hen do next year??? wtf? f**k them off hun they aint worth the money for the dresses or the time you've wasted stressing over this.
love and hugs to you xxx
CommentAuthorMrs Hinch2B
I'd get rid of them hun! they aren't worth it!! what does ur h2b think about it all? xx
Bridezilla.... Me?? I have no idea what your talking about!!
We met 30/01/2005 (H2B's Bday)
Got Engaged 23/07/2010 (My Bday)
Getting Married 08/06/2012 (can't wait to be Mrs Hinch)
CommentAuthormummyto2
I'd get rid
im a married women now
mrs carson-moores
i love my hubby and my kids with all my heart and soul
CommentAuthornickers
I would get rid to hun big hugs to u xxx
MRS RICHARDSON HERE
LOVE MY LITTLE FAMILY MY GORGEOUS SON
AND HANDSOME HUSBAND XXXX
CommentAuthorFeebs
Just be polite and say to them that they aren't really showing much interest and don't seem to want to get involved and that it's clear to you that they don't really want to be bridesmaids, but they're just too nice to say so. Then tell them you're more than happy to let them off the hook - they won't know what to say, but if they really do want to be a part of it, it might kick them into gear!
CommentAuthorsarahwasabride
i wouldnt have them as my BM if they cant b bothered 2 show an interest xx
CommentAuthorRachie :D
If he's that bothered tell him to have them as usherettes - my h2b's sister and niece are 2 of my bridesmaids but they are showing loads of interest and want to help even though they're 230 miles away
9th June 2012 when two worlds collide
The Crazy Cat Lady and the Transformer Man!
CommentAuthorMrs Daltry
hate to sound harsh here but firstly you need to get rid of them as your bridesmaids,and secondly does it really bother you if they dont remember your birthday,glenns friends dont remember mine!
CommentAuthorMonicaGeller
sweet heart you deserve better.
tell him to tell them they are no longer BMs as a BMs duty is to support the bride. which means turning up for fittings and hen do. keep smiling hun
