Hi ladies, Really really need ur advice and help, i'm stressing my head so badly, see the thing is i have been married b4 when i was 23 (37 now) it was at a registry office and lasted what then was a VERY long 4 years, i unfortuantly married a violent man!! to cut a long story short my divorce was given on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour. Ive now been with my H2b for 6 yrs and know he's the one one hence marrying him!! lol. The thing is we would love to get married in our C of E church, we went to see vicor at the church about a month ago and told him i had been married b4 and gave the brief reason why i divorced, he has penciled in the date of our choice but wants us to go to the vicarage for in depth discussions!! this is happening this Weds 10th Nov, do you think he will allow us to marry in the church? what sort of things will he want to know????? is it do u thing a good sign with him penciling us in!?!?!?
Cant wait for a little stress relief with what u all think, ive been going out of my mind for the last month!!! :-(( XX

I think as his penciled u in it will probably be a yes but just wants to make sure your making the right decision hun. Im sure it will be fine x

Thanx ladies, gives me a lil more hope!! He did say when we first see him at the church (1 month ago) to come to the vicarage for a chat as it was more private... there were other people around and i guess he did'nt want me to drag my past up for all to hear!! i have my fingers tightly crossed and hope ur right that it will be a yes. xx

Good luck hope it goes well on Wednesday.

Ive been married before hun also to a violent man :( We went to the church and the vicar didnt even mention that Id been married xx

i think as hes pencilled you in it looks good for you to marry there, i think hell most propb ask more questions about your prev marriage and divorce etc, the if it is a yes just ask bout you and h2b,been right for each other, how this 1s diff from last, why church/why that church etc,

good luck for weds.x

Thanks so much for all ur helpful info, im still stressing thou and my h2b is sitting here tellin me to just chill and trying to reasure me everything will be ok, i really hope he's right. I'm worried also that the vicar will ask a question that i wont be quick enuff to answer and think it may go against me! at least i know how this relationship is different to the last!!!!!! (can joke about it now but at the time was not a funny tme, my heart goes out to everyone in a violent relationship) XX

I will keep my fingers crossed for you but an alternative if he says no is to have the registrar come to the church to do the legal marriage and the vicar can perform the rest of the service as a blessing. That way you get the legal side of things sorted but its still in the church and you can still have a blessing.

good luck xx

Hopefully you won't need to do that as the vicar will be able to marry you with no problems. I can't see how the church could argue that you were supposed to stay in such an awful marriage but you never know with them. They wouldn't let me get married in a church in the next village because our church has big steps going up to it and my mobility isn't that good. I will check later to find out the results and pray for a good ending!

Well this is what everyone is saying to me that if i had stayed in my last marriage then the vicar could have ended up burying me!! luckily i had the strengh to finally get out of it, when u feel so low and feel like nothing its very hard to break away from such an awful relationship u just dont feel u have the strength, people always say why didnt u just walk away but its just not as easy as that! Anyway i hope the vicar will see tonight what others see!.
Its terrible u wasnt allowed to marry in choice of church, surly if u think ur able enuff to cope thats all that matters!! XX

Mel, I was in a relationship like this and have also had it said to me why did I not leave, its only when u r in it u know how it feels, how low someone has made u and how hard it is to get out. Its the best thing I ever did, but has by far been the most difficult thing mentally as well as physically. Glad we both got out xxxx

o no loubylou that must have been awful, just a couple of days wait would be like a couple of months wait or longer!! but i'm glad u got the answer u wanted, congrats hun. :-) now im gonna be wondering if i'll get the answer 2nite or not owwa lol. xx

Not a problem hun, like u say at least i'll be prepared now if he does say that!! I will let u all know what the outcome is later!! i have 2 hours to go now and stressin soooo much, think i might go take a shower to pass some time! lol. thanks everyone for ur support, so glad i found this site :-) xx

LOL mrsbeal2be, i will tell him bet he will soon change his mind then!! lol. only half hour to wait now just waiting for h2b to get in from work then its the crunch time, eek i'm so nervous....deep breaths! lol. XX

So what was the verdict?

HOORAY im getting married in the church- he said yes, im over moon as is h2b. now its time to plan it all, i was sooooo nervous and told vicar this, he told me not to be nervous, i nearly cried when he said we can marry there, so my wedding will take place on 30th June 2012 at 1pm. Cannot believe it im over the moon. thanks ladies for all ur support. :-))))) xxxx

congrats bet you are over the moon, and at least you didnt have to wait. bet it seems more real now xx

Yey, congrats hun x

Yippee, So pleased for you and h2b xx

excellent hun thats great news xx