Wedding Forum - Will my sisters be hurt???...

Hi i have 3 sisters.

I currently live in the uk, and my sisters are abroad.
I was initially planning on asking them all to be my bridesmaids along with H2B sister and my friend, but this will make a very big bridal party and i cnat afford it.
My oldest sister had me as a bridesmaid at her wedding. She has two kids (boy is alos my godson) and i was going to have them as my flower girl and pageboy.
I really dont want to upset anyone. I am not that close with my middle sister although we are not that many years apart from each other. So i would only be asking her so that she doesnt get hurt and upset as she is really sensitive and gets upset easily.

I have thought of just asking my friend, H2B sister and my litte sister and have my nice and nephew/godson as my flower girl and pageboy but am not sure of my other 2 sisters will take it the wrong way. Not sure if my oldest will be upset because i was her bridesmaid and i havent asked her.
Its all easy to say that its my day and that they shouldnt mind but its another thing about what they actually feel. They might not say that the are hurt but might be. I dont want to upset them especially as they are all coming from a long way to be with me on this important day.

Any advise???

but i get along with her really well and do want her in it if that makes sense.
I was going to say just have my little sister out of mine as she is the youngest and use that as a reason. I would hope that if i did this my oldest sister would e sad because her kids would be involved but i am not sure.

Another thought i had was to have my sisters and H2B sister but H2b thinks i should have my friend
I am so confused and stressed. This is the most stressful thing so far. Literally keeping me up at nights :(

What do you want, would you rather have your sisters or your friend? Forget other people feelings and what your fiance thinks just for answering that question and then you can work out from there what is best to do

thats the thing i cant really choose between my sisters and my friend. M y relationship with my sisters is a bit of a weird one. i get along with them the normal stuff, but i wouldnt go to them and talk to them about my problems. I usually tend to have small arguements with one of them just because we have such different characters.

If your not close to your sisters, don't have them in the bridal party. Plus if they are abroad, how are they going to help with the planning and dress buying would be a nightmare :)

Why not say you can be in bridal party but please get your own dress(in own country) in your colour then they won't feel left out and will just think it's the distance?

Havent spoken to them about it yet as i want to make a decision first. H2b prefers them having the same dresses for the sake of pics he thinks it looks better

I couldn't have my h2bs sister over my own, no matter how close I was to h2bs sister. I decided to just have my one sister as my BM and not have either of h2bs sisters.

I would give them the option of buying their own dresses etc, just be upfront and say you really want them involved but would need them to get their own dresses. If you don't put too much restriction on what they can wear then they can use the dresses again x

What about if you asked your sisters who wouldn't be bridesmaids to take on another role in the wedding? Maybe do a reading or be in charge of decorations or something? Also even though traditionally you have make ushers they could be ushers? Or maybe they could do the receiving line. Just a job/ role that they have could still make them feel like they are a big part of your day without you having to worry about you bridal party becoming too big.

xxxx

Hope you get it sorted hun - hopefully they'll be mature about it and understanding :)

I disagree that you should have your own sisters over h2bs sister. Its his wedding just as much as yours and you've said your close to her so if you want her as a bm then do. As for your sisters I think speak with your oldest sister first as having got married she will understand how costly everything can be. She might be happy doing a reading or being a witness, espech if you are planning to involve her children as page boy/flower girl. X

I think if I had a sister and she asked her future SIL over me I would be miffed. Four adult bridesmaids is not particularly big, I had five. I would agree with some of the others, if cost is the only concern ask them to contribute. Alternatively you could only have the little flower girl and page boy, and have your sisters and future SIL as witnesses/ushers/readers. Do your parents have any thoughts? I know it's your day, but when I got married I really wanted to make sure everyone was happy. I had a 19 year old as bridesmaid because her little sister was flowergirl and I know if I'd been in her shoes I would have been upset to miss out simply because my sister was younger. I also picked a second MOH because she was close to my main choice of MOH (and to me), and was quite insecure about me being close to her best friend. It was a bit of a diplomatic move but paid off. It was worth it to avoid any arguments and stress. You really do need to weigh up everything, the last thing you need is your sisters being upset with you in the run-up to the day.

Thanks guys for all the responses. Hopefully it all works out xx