So.. When I got engaged my mum was really pleased for us, really excited almost shed a tear on the phone, so the answer isn't that she doesn't approve... So since then and I've started getting things together getting ideas going out shopping looking at venues etc she has shown no interest whatsoever! I live 100 miles away from my mum so it's not like we see each other everyday but recently when I've seen her and shown her things to do with the wedding she's said nothing more than 'that's nice'.. Specifically when I said I was going to look at wedding dresses her reply was ' whys your friend got you all excited about weddings all of a sudden?!' to which I replied 'Erm cos im getting married?!' Then I put the deposit down on my dress, emailed my mum at work saying that I'd put a deposit down an did she wanna see the pics? No reply.. So I text her later on to ask if she'd got my email to which she said yes I'll reply when ive had my bath.. She replied to pics of my dress with ' that's lovely, do you mind if I show my friend at work Tomor? It all seems to be moving v quickly?!' I don't think getting married in 2014 is quick?! And it's only that long away because we are having to pay everything ourselves pay as you go style and need to save up. She's mentioned contributing to nothing at all..
What do I do? Leave it? Ask her what her problem is?.. I just want her to be excited and involved, or at the least get involved in conversation on weddings! Xx
CommentAuthorMrs B
It's a difficult one, I have a sis who's not that interested so I know it's tough even considering having a conversation with he about it but maybe the next time you do mention the wedding just ask her if everything's ok and say she's not showing much interest. She may think as its not until 2014 it is a way off yet so this may be why? I don't think you're going to get the true answer unless you ask her out right :) x
CommentAuthorkirstyless
My mum was pretty much the same. I live 300 miles away and we had the wedding down there cos I knew none of my family would make the effort to come up here. In the whole year I was planning she didn't really ask about anything and was always more interested in my sisters flowergirl dress. Even on the day she was more worried about my sister, I hardly saw her and then they left at 9 cos she was tired - let her fall asleep on a chair, it did me no harm at 4! I did fret about it at first, but then I just got on with it. As hard as its not to, try not to let it get to you, get excited about your wedding and concentrate on that :) xx
CommentAuthorInDreamland
Hmmmm, difficult one.
Would you mind if I asked how old you are and if you have brothers or sisters? Are they older/younger than you? Are you the first to get married?
My sister had a similar problem with my parents when she got engaged in November 2009 (they set the date in October 2010 and got hitched in April last year). She is 6 years younger than me, she was 23 at the time. After a little time experiencing some of the things that you have described, my sister said something to my parents about not being interested or showing any excitement and the response from my mum was "have you not thought that we were not ready for you to get married yet?"
Strange one, which is why I asked your age and about siblings. I wonder whether if I had been married first my sister would have got an easier ride or if she had been a bit older.
Maybe your mum is still coming to terms with losing her baby girl?
Maybe when you see her, ask her gently if she is happy with the wedding and if there is anything she'd like to be involved in?
xxx
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorMrs van der Lee
My mum was the same but now that our wedding is getting closer etc she's showing a lot more interest. It might be that she thinks your wedding is too far away for her to start worrying about - ask her about it xxx
I thought the same about my mum a few months ago, felt like she wasn't interested.. When I asked her about it, I found out it was because she's upset that she won't be there to see me get married.. Which makes perfect sence!
Maybe your mum has a reasonable explination too? Xx
Mrs Lunn
08/05/12 was the best day of my life
& I love my husband with all my heart xxxx
CommentAuthorsprucey83
Well I'm an only child and I'm 29! Ive always been very independent and not what you would call 'baby girl' I moved out when I was 17! The thing she normally would get excited about girly things, she loves shoes and whenever u have something new, a dress / handbag etc she always notices and always has a conversation about how nice it is and where I got it etc do its not like she's not interested in unnecessary details! She could talk at great length about clothes and shoes normally just not my wedding dress it seems! I got much more of a response when I emailed her pics of the dress id got for our works Christmas party last year! I need her to be involved when it comes to the later on stage as I have 2 children that I'm hoping she will look after over night on our wedding night!... :( xx
CommentAuthorLinzi-jo
I am having the same problem, and unfortunately hun, although 2014 isnt a long way away for us as we have to plan etc., it is for others! When I spoke to my mum about it she answered that our wedding was still over 2 years away and she feels we are rushing into planning and booking things. The only thing she agreed with us booking was the venue and church as we are both students so aren't back home that much to be able to do these closer to the time. Although it is all exciting to us at the moment, it isn't to them. I am sure that when it gets nearer to the time she will feel much more excited about it and be more interested in it all.
Also, you wrote that you went and got your dress and then sent her a picture of it. I know for a fact that my mum wants to be with me when I try on dresses, and traditionally it is something a bride and her mother do together. Do you think the reason she put off replying to you may be because she feels a bit upset that you didn't ask her to go with you? Maybe this was something she was looking forward to doing with you?
I think you just have to be patient with her and wait until the wedding is a bit closer. If she still isn't that excited when it gets to under a year, then maybe have a word with her to see if there is something deeper there. But for now, I would say just leave it, and you never know, if you aren't talking weddings to her she may end up asking YOU things about how the wedding is going xxx
Got together 14.02.2008
Got engaged 31.12.2010
Will become a Mrs on 30.08.2014 xxxxxx
CommentAuthorXbox widow
Maybe when it gets a bit nearer she will get more interested x
CommentAuthorMrs van der Lee
Honestly I bet she will. When we first got engaged it was 22 months to our wedding, now it's 15 my mum is getting more involved and getting more interested - she only had a reg. office wedding and a do at the pub so she doesn't know what sort of planning a wedding takes! just bare with it hun, dont upset yourself xxxxx
Sam & Adele
Mr and Mrs van der Lee
10-08-2013
CommentAuthorInDreamland
Sprucey83, after reading your reply I am inclined to agree with Linzi-jo.
She's right, for everyone 2 years is a long time away. Mine is just over 12 months away and my dad tells me I got ages yet and thinks I'm getting too excited about planning and organising everything.
I also agree about the wedding dress, my sister did the same as you, she chose her dress with just me then told mum after she had decided it was the one and I think mum was a little upset about it (that's why I'm ensuring she comes with us to all the appointments and I always ask her opinion and she is so much more interested than she was with my sister).
Hold tight hun, enjoy the planning and hopefully your mum will start to get excited next year xxx
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorsprucey83
Perhaps, but when I said about next time she's down us going to view the dress she wasn't at all bothered. She's too far away to be able to arrange to go dress shopping together and hadn't shown any interest in going either. When I said about getting rough numbers together for the wedding and asked about family to invite she said its up to you nothing to do with me... My mum and her husband got married in 2003 by themselves in Cornwall with just 2 witnesses from the hotel! I didn't even get invited! When I mentioned about costs of things she bragged that they managed to do theirs for under a grand!! Yes that's a piece of p*** if you don't invite anyone! Tut
CommentAuthorInDreamland
My sister had the same problem. After the dress was chosen, we both took mum to see the dress and she was really miserable about it, it really upset my sister. Then there was the same thing over the guest list and quite a lot of other things too. Mum and dad did get more interested nearer the time (I hope that reassures you) xxx
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorkirstyless
I think its good she doesnt want to get involved with numbers - I've seen quite a few people on here having trouble with the parents wanted to invite people they didn't even know
CommentAuthorBrideInTraining
i think when its abit nearer the time she will my mum was the same but recently shes been like a big kid all excited xx
CommentAuthorMrs van der Lee
the best advice i can offer (having experience this myself) is just letting it flow over you. brush it off. keep her updated etc etc and then as it gets closer you will see a marked improvement in her getting involved. xxxx
Sam & Adele
Mr and Mrs van der Lee
10-08-2013
CommentAuthormelliecake
My mum is the same. She's only started to show interest now and I've got 3months to go! It's quiet upsetting really, you always expect your mum to be the one who is really excited and wanting to be involved but I haven't had that at all. I'm 22 but I don't think it could be an age thing because I moved out over 4 years ago. I did actually have a word and she said she doesn't want to seem to take over as her parents organised everything for her wedding...but surely she could still show a bit more enthusiasm? The worst thing for me was when I went to try my (then) dress (have since got a new one) she wasn't even looking when I came out from the curtain and was just posing asking my sister to take pictures of HER!? My mum in law was really disinterested up until around xmas time and since then she's been great and helped us out loads so that's been really nice.
I think your mum will get more excited when your date gets closer so just wait it out. I'm sure you have other people getting excited for you so just have lots of wedding talk with them for now :) xxx
CommentAuthorMrsMarr2B
I think that the closer it gets the more interest she will take, it's difficult when your loved ones show little or no interest in your plans when all you want to do is involve them. Keep persisting with her, I'm sure she will come round! Xx
Mrs Marr 2 b!!! Can't blooming wait!!
10-11-12 can't come quick enough :)
CommentAuthorFernP61
me and my fiances getting married in two years too and his mum has shown no interest infact shes dead against it says (anything can happen in the mean time) but it wont we are fully 100% commited to each other! i mentioned about a dress i really want she said dont go putting a deposit down you might put on weight in the mean time then what will you do? im still inlove with the dress and if its still in the shop in sep im going to put a deposit on it!!! she lives about 25 miles away fromus and we only hear off her if shes got something to moan about! and pathetically i had to take my fiances sister in law off fbook cos she was telling his mum everything i was writing on there! she thinks because she got married the second time and only spent 1k on the wedding and £150 on her dress i should do the same? i really wish i had my mum stick with it your mum will come round soon after all your her only child and mothers cam be like that sometimes xx
