I am so sick of the hoops I need to jump through for our wedding... Everything is a struggle. We are to be married in my nanas church in South Shields and we live in Coventry still. I asked the priest if there was any legal requirement we needed, he said no just giving notice, I double checked at my council and they said the same. Waited 7 weeks for an appointment and it's only today that they tell me we give notice unless we have set up 7 days residency in the parish we are to be married in! Supposedly is it a law regarding marriage in a religious venue (not Church of England!) So I'm marrying in a Catholic Church, the notice of marriage document legally requires one of us has full residency (I.e. Lives there) for 7 full days immediately before giving notice.
The pathetic bit is you could technically do that and marry in absolutely any church in the country, without every stepping foot in it. I want to marry in a church important to my family, that I went to as a child but this law stops me... Well, makes it very difficult to do so.
Why did no one tell me? The superintendent told us shed been worried about our meeting and us not knowing, so why not ring me?!? I'm so upset and disappointed. I don't think we can do that, I can't take 7 full days off work as I need all my holidays for my wedding, my best friends wedding (on a Thursday/Friday and honeymoon.
Everything has been a drama from start to finish, changing cities, upsetting so many people with my choices, loosing a bridesmaid, my wedding stationer cancelling on me this week... I've changed so many things to suit other people and to overcome obstacle after obstacle. I'm sick now, I am so sick of it all.
CommentAuthorWhovianbride
Im sorry but im a bit confused asto what you mean? What do you need to take time off for?
Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
CommentAuthorTheFutureMrsK
That is rubbish that they didn't tell you. Sorry if I'm being stupid but I don't understand why you would have to take 7 days off? xx
“Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.”
-Ambrose Bierce
CommentAuthorMrs T. 2 Be
I am confused too!
Started Dating: 25th September 2005
Engaged: 26th September 2012
Getting Married: 25th May 2014
Supposedly is it a law regarding marriage in a religious venue (not Church of England!) So I'm marrying in a Catholic Church, the notice of marriage document legally requires one party has full residency (I.e. Lives there) for 7 full days immediately before giving notice.
The pathetic bit is you could technically do that and marry in absolutely any church in the country, without every stepping foot in it. I want to marry in a church important to my family, that I went to as a child but this law stops me... Well, makes it very difficult to do so.
CommentAuthorCrawf
Sorry, in my rant I never explained myself properly. Sorry xx
CommentAuthorWhovianbride
I thought you could marry in a church in which your not local to the parsh if you have routes there like parents and/or grandparents.
Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
CommentAuthorCrawf
In the eyes of the church you can, not legally though. Pathetic loophole is living there for 7 days, be it in a hotel or with parents/grandparents..
Church of England is different and you only need ties to the parish, I think
CommentAuthorMrs T. 2 Be
I understand now.
That's rather silly though in my opinion!
Started Dating: 25th September 2005
Engaged: 26th September 2012
Getting Married: 25th May 2014
CommentAuthorTheFutureMrsK
Yeah I think Lana is right, I've never heard of that before :s I've spoke to other people who got married in a catholic church and they said as long as you attend a parish you can get proof from the parish priest for your parish and the other parish should accept this. The other thing which I know you have to attend is the counselling type sessions with the priest before the ceremony xx
“Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.”
-Ambrose Bierce
CommentAuthorCrawf
edited
Yeah we have our marriage counselling classes on Sunday up north. Did your friends get married in the place they currently lived?
I had no idea of this rule at all, until 2 hours ago, I've called to confirm with my parish and NOW they tell me. They 'thought I knew'?!?! It's not a church thing, or a decision the priest can make.. It's a legal requirement to the council.
I'm so angry and upset about this. I don't actually think either of us can go up for a full 7 days, we need our holidays for the wedding and honeymoon :( I don't know what to do xx
CommentAuthorCrawf
If we'd known before we could have planned it!!! Aaaaaargh!!!!!! I thought I'd done enough research about it all, seems not :( stupid Crawf :(
My friends got married in a Catholic church in York and they live in London, her family is from York. They didn't move up for a week before giving notice I don't think.
How far away do you live from your nanna?
CommentAuthorStephanieK77
Yeah i was just thinking how do they know your not there?
CommentAuthoralmost a year wife!!
That's weird! Never heard of that before and surely it's a bit anti quated! X
Ill marry my hero
CommentAuthorTeresa
Im sure they wont know if you are there or not, unless you have to prove it ?
just tell them you are staying with your family there, and just stay for a few days xx xx
CommentAuthor*KelBel*
I was gonna say the same...have u got to go to church in the 7 residency days? As if not surely u can be at home and just say you were living at ur mums.?
Velcro...my wedding day twinny! The Two Kel's!
Got engaged 14/10/12 in Central Park NYC!
Became Mrs Macdonald 13th September 2014
Mummy to 4 girlies and baby blue boy Due 10/05/2016
CommentAuthorJoannaS
my cousin wanted to get married in our parish church where we all get christened married etc she used my aunts address for giving notice but didn't live there for 7 days she lied cos of taking the hole etc no one was any the wiser
CommentAuthorElinor Claire
What if you were to spend two consecutive weekends at your nana's, and "work away" during the week?
30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.
CommentAuthorKatya
I had some clients in 2012 who lived the opposite end of the country, Scotland in fact, I warned them of this well in advance, so what they did was ask that a family member write a letter to confirm that one of them had been staying there for a while (a bit longer than 7 days to be sure), they had other friends & family state that they had been to visit them at this address during this time... the fact that they had not taken time off work & had not infact been there at all is not the point.
The point is, if you have someone that owns their own property (thereby not having to inform their landlord, housing benefit etc) that would be willing to help you out by stating that you have been living with them for this time. Then the registry office would be none the wiser. They would not check up & if they do it would only be by asking the person you are "staying with". Your marriage will still be legal, maybe you could ask them to buy you a toothbrush or send a new one to them thats for you.
I got pulled in for benefit fraud years ago, turns out that because my h2b had 2 toothbrushes one at mine the other at his parents, and that he had clothes in both houses, & an alarm clock on his phone turns out its not fraud & the whole idea of only allowed to stay 3-4 nights a week is total poop.... turns out they considered him to be living at his parents still. So the same goes for this, so long as there is a toothbrush for you there its fine, in the space of 7 days you are not expected to have recieved your first post to your home within 7 days of moving in, therefore they do not require a bill as proof of residency. so long as you have a letter o confirm you are "living in the district" thats all they can ask.
Find out who you are & do it on purpose!
CommentAuthorCrawf
Thank you all so much for your advise on this. I was so so upset and deflated. I've emailed the council and asked for further clarification on the rule, if it turns out they are adamant on the situation I have no choice but to fib about it. I think I'll follow the advice some of you have said and my aunt and nana have both said they'd write me a letter to confirm, and I'll come up for the weekend and go to my church, show my face and make it look plausible! Then give notice up here... It's my only choice!
I'm in the north east this weekend and went to my church tonight and it broke my heart to think of not being married there!!!
What's the worst that can happen?!
CommentAuthorMrsLowe
I stayed at my moms for seven days before giving notice and they didn't question a thing, they can't no for sure and they certainly don't go to lengths to find out. I think my mom may have wrote a note saying I had stayed there but I can't even remember her doing that! Don't worry it will all work out in the end x
CommentAuthorInDreamland
I'm incredibly confused. We got married in a Catholic Church last May, neither of us live in the parish we got married in, I used to but that was 20 years ago, actually, more than that. It was the church my parents got married in and I was baptised and had my first holy communion in. We moved from the parish when I was 7, then moved even further away to an area in a completely different diocese 12 years ago. We had no problems with the church or local registry office in giving notice or getting any paperwork sorted to marry in my childhood church.
Sounds like someone doesn't know what they're doing.
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
