Early on, we decided that we'd pay for the bridesmaid's dresses and all they'd have to pay for was their shoes. We also decided that the ushers were going to pay for their own suit hire, which everyone was happy with. Now my future SIL and her fiance are bridesmaid and usher's respectively, and she's kicking off because we're paying for her dress but he has to pay for his suit...we're considering just saying to the bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses too!
We did buy some dresses that we loved but they tried them on and hated them so now we're trying to replace them. Since they're choosing the dresses is it unreasonable to expect them to pay for their own?
EDIT please check what catergory your in before posting a thread, i have done it for you this time MODS
I can't wait to marry the love of my life - 28/04/2012
OCD Bride - it's all in the details!
CommentAuthorx~Hails~x
If it's something they can wear again then sure why not?? A wedding costs alot these days after all If you do end paying for them ask for them back after the wedding and sell them to make some money back.
We were going to pay for all our bm's but both my sisters offered to pay for my nieces so i only have to pay for my girls hehehe
UKBride moderator both on here and on facebook
For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart
It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.
CommentAuthorMrsC2B
I agree with Hails. If it's a dress/style they'll wear again, no it's not unreasonable to ask them to pay. But if you do go down this route it might be worth setting a budget so it's not more than people can afford. xx
CommentAuthorKaz
Your wedding hun, you decide! Bridesmaid's buying their own shoes is reasonable and men are slightly easier as they will nearly always wear their own shoes so asking them to pay out for the suit hire balances it out!
And, tbh, I'd have made them wear my choice, but you know that, lol xx
WARNING:
I say the first thing I think of!
CommentAuthorMrsCaitiClarke
edited
Lol Kaz I really should have just told them to shush! Found some new ones that are gorgeous and only about £55 so might tell the girls if they buy them then we'll buy the shoes. Dresses are the kind of ones they can wear again too so fingers crossed they won't mind! My MIL is paying for us all to get our hair and make-up done so that's not too much of a worry.
Boys have all helped choose their suits and they've all offered to pay for their own as well so that's solved. And I don't care what shoes they've got on so long as they're black! We're getting my 20 year old brother some black converse's as his present from us to wear!
I didn't realise how much diplomacy would be required to get married! Me and OH agree on most things, didn't realise I'd be compromising with everyone else! Including our flower girl, who had to be bribed into her dress! Lol. Bossed about by a 7 year old. xxx
I can't wait to marry the love of my life - 28/04/2012
OCD Bride - it's all in the details!
we have bought their dresses, shoes (which they can keep and wear again) and basically everything they will be wearing/need on the day apart from their undies! All the dresses need altered too as bought from a bridal boutique and seem to be made for 6ft bridesmaids.
I think your bridesmaids spend enough on coming to the wedding, getting all their tans/nails etc done, room, wedding gift etc. I could never of asked them to pay for their own dresses aswell!
I don’t repeat gossip so listen very carefully!!
Started Slimming World - 23/03/2011 - 2 Stone to lose!
Total Loss = 1 stone 7 lbs.
As at 23/11 - 3 days before the wedding.
CommentAuthorKaz
Apart from my sister, step-dad, 2 usher's and the bestman, the wedding party are made up of our kids (4) so we're asking the men to wear their own black suits and shoes and my sister to buy her own shoes, I'm buying the material to make all dresses, waistcoats and ties. And if they spend enough coming to my wedding, I'm spending more time and money by making/buying outfits, feeding everyone and keeping them amused for a Sat!
WARNING:
I say the first thing I think of!
CommentAuthorMrsCaitiClarke
All my bridesmaids live in the town that we're getting married in, and we've sorted their hair, nails, tans and make-up for them. We're having earrings, necklaces and bracelets custom made for them by a family member who makes jewellery so that's theur thank you gift from us and their jewellery for the wedding day all rolled into one!
I agree with you Kaz - they might have to spend a bit being there but we're not asking for wedding presents and I'm paying to feed and amuse them for the day!
We've got 3 kids in the wedding party, OH's 8 year old brother, our 3 year old son and the 7 year old girl I nannied. We've paid for her dress but her mum's paying for her shoes and hair to be done. We're paying for our son's suit and shoes (matches his Daddy's) and my MIL is paying for OH's brother. And she's just text me saying she wants to pay for my SIL's dress and her fiance's suit. Happy days!
I can't wait to marry the love of my life - 28/04/2012
OCD Bride - it's all in the details!
CommentAuthorKaz
And another dilemma is solved, what a great MIL! lol xx
WARNING:
I say the first thing I think of!
CommentAuthorMrsCaitiClarke
I literally love her - I hear all these horror stories from other people and I am SO lucky!! She's the loveliest person, and she is getting really stuck into the wedding (me and OH are both the eldest, and the first wedding in our families). She keeps offering to pay for stuff as well, bless her, and sending me emails of stuff she thinks I might find helpful. I'm going to have to get her an OBE or something after this wedding. Without her and my mum I think my head would have fallen off by now! xx
I can't wait to marry the love of my life - 28/04/2012
OCD Bride - it's all in the details!
CommentAuthorKaz
Bless, I think I'll have her adopt me! lol x
WARNING:
I say the first thing I think of!
CommentAuthorMrsCaitiClarke
Yeah but then you get stuck with my nightmare SIL hon!!! She more than makes up for it - she must phone up OH once a week at least to chew his ear off about something. She's 23, engaged and has a baby...she's the exact same age as me! Ugh. Lol. Every family has one...
I can't wait to marry the love of my life - 28/04/2012
OCD Bride - it's all in the details!
CommentAuthorbecky -mrs firth
my bridesmaids are all payin for their own dresses, am buyin shoes/jewelerry/ payin for hair done on day/getitn us moet n chardan for nite b4 n mornin, and spenind about 40- 50 oon each of them for their presents!
no offence but weddins cost loads and they was all happy to pay for dresses so its not a biggy cos they can use mine again too
Engaged 27th November 2010
Hen Do Newcastle 2nd June 2012
Marrying the man of my dreams 11th August 2012!
Honeymoon To Jamaica 14th October 2012
CommentAuthortimpson123
I don't see the problem having to pay for their own if it is stated from the outset. At least then they can say well i can't really afford all that but thanks for asking and I still want to be at your wedding. i would see if I could find a way to pau but if not then that would have to be the case.
On the other hand I think if you approach them furthur into the planning and say actually you will need to pay for that then it's a bit wrong.
CommentAuthorMrsCaitiClarke
Well I'm going to bask in the glory of my brilliant idea...they've all kicked off about it, saying it's not fair that they have to pay for them. Sigh. The dresses were £50 which I didn't think was unreasonable - especially because they all work full-time and have good jobs. Never mind. Back to me paying for them then I suppose!
I can't wait to marry the love of my life - 28/04/2012
OCD Bride - it's all in the details!
CommentAuthorbecky -mrs firth
mrs clark my dresses are £160 and they r happy wiv it x
Engaged 27th November 2010
Hen Do Newcastle 2nd June 2012
Marrying the man of my dreams 11th August 2012!
Honeymoon To Jamaica 14th October 2012
CommentAuthorlisa123
we are paying for bridesmaid dresses but we have hired them rather than brought as they are dresses our bridesmaids will never wear again, we have got them from our local prom hire shop and the lady will also alter them so they fit perfectly for only £10 each :) xx
Cant wait to be married
must loose weight!!
start weight 12st 12lb
current weight 9st 10lbs
CommentAuthorMrs Syla (antonia200
Hi Hun,
Our bridesmaids and grooms men are all paying for there own. We made a decision that when we asked them to be apart of the bridal party we would ask them to pay for their own suit/dress. Everyone has said "no problem". It helps that the theme is Black and ivory. BM in LBD from the high street so they can wear them again and GM tails which they are hiring
