I knew this would happen - I have to cut some people from the list. I have booked for 120 and that is all I can afford but I have about 140 I would like there all day. Well some of them I wouldn't actually mind having only at evening time but it's for other people's sake. For example my dad asked me the other day if his aunt cathy and uncle something or other were getting invited all day. Now I wouldn't know these people if I met them in the street so I said no it'd be ok for night time but then he hits back with - but that's the only family left of your gran and grandad (it's my grandad's sister - unfortunatley both grandparents on my dad's side have passed on). So he thinks this will be us remembering them if the sister's there. How do I say no to something like that! It means bumping off one of my good friends from work or one of my cousins who I am closer too! And I know there's gonna be more of this to come. Arghh how do u do it!!! Rant over :)

We've had to put our foot down quite firmly on our all day celebrations, the only people who will be there all day are immediate family, wedding party and guests who have had to travel a noteable distance (we've got a few international and national guests) Everybody is welcome to the ceremony and evening reception but we simply don't have the funds to cater for Uncle Bob's best friend's next door neighbour's second cousin - we have X amount of money, no more.
This has rocked a few boats because H2Bs family seem to think they're more important than they actually are, we see them maybe 2/3 times a year and if they have a party or bbq or whatever then our invites always seem to 'get lost in the post', as we said, they wouldn't normally come to eat a meal with us or even acknowledge our existence so tough! Yes, it's been mentioned that we 'should' invite the to the wedding breakfast, my reply.....
"Well then, one of you needs to find the extra £15 pp it's going to cost us in food, drink, place cards, favours etc" and then made it very clear that we're on a strict budget because the baby's due soon but if anyone wanted to contribute so these people could attend then that would be fine by us. So far no-one has offered to pay the near enough £500 ergo these people won't be coming.

It always seems harsh when it's family but to be honest if you don't know them or you wouldn't see them any other time then why should you fork out for them to have a knees up at your expense, especially when you've got friends you see on a daily basis who have been there for you.
Hope that helps you a bit
xxx
I suggest you talk to your H2B and agree a final guest list then stick to it rigidly

Thanks lizzyleek - not feeling quite so much like the harsh b!tch anymore :D
xxx

stand your ground and say you can't afford to invite more people. if your dad is that bothered, tell him he can pay for them! x

Exactly kerrylou.... if you pay for them they can come!

We are having 19adults counting me and h2b...much to my mums disappointment, but lets put it this way my granny had over 30 grandkids so i cant invite all them and their parents, then there would be my dads side, then h2b mums and dads familys, so instead of inviting some and leaving out others we just said...
us
parents
siblings
best friends, not best friends partners
grandparents!

The evening which is on a differnt day is like a free for all, there will be about 120 + ppl, but thats not to bad, just a buffet to do, and dj

I'm finding the whole family thing a bit tough too, there's been a bit of a disagreement lately in our family with my Dad and his Sisters so i don't know if they would even come to the wedding, neither do i know if my cousins will (their kids). I've rejigged my day list a few times to see if we can have more friends instead of the family and have them in the evening but i dont want to be the one to put the final nail in the coffin... I dont think theyd come to just the evening because it's a 2hr journey and theyd probably feel insulted.
But the only time we see them is at big family events so...
At the moment we've had to cut some of the day guests other halves off and it's just not ideal... :/
We're having about 70 to the day and about 120ish in total for the evening, i'd invite everyone to the day but we just cant afford to do it :(

It's really hard to say "Do what you want to, it's your wedding day not theirs, if they care they'd understand etc" but when it comes to close friends and not so close family but still family it's really hard to make a decision.

xxx

There are other (and cheaper) ways of remembering your grandparents. having photos of them on the cake table for example or naming tables after them etc.
You can always compromise and tell your Dad that if 2 of the RSVPs come back as a 'no' then you'll be able to invite the aunt and uncle.