Hi everyone! So I could really do with a second/third/fourth etc opinion! I thought deciding who to invite to my wedding would be a doddle, but it's turning out to be a lot harder than I thought. I'm being torn between friends and family and it's really not a nice feeling :/ so here's the situation. Our venue can cater for a maximum of 120 people for the wedding breakfast. At £33.50 a head though, we'd really rather not go to the full 120 people. H2b is Portuguese, and therefore a lot of his guests are having to fly over from Portugal, meaning there will probably be quite a few who don't manage. His family is a lot smaller than mine in the first place, so we've figured it out that overall I have about 70 people who I'd like to invite and h2b has 50 (20 are likely not to manage but its polite to ask). I would really like to get my side down to 50 too so that I don't feel bad for having so many more people, but I have such a huge family it's gonna be really hard. I can either not invite a of my cousins (knocking 13 people off the list), or not invite a group of friends (knocking 10 off the list). I would really love for both groups of people to be there, and can't see a way round it! I'm scared that if I don't invite my cousins, some of my aunties/uncles won't come either. I know most people will say that family come before friends, but I live in Scotland and most of my cousins live in Cambridge and I'm really not close to them at all. This particular group of friends are VERY close to me and I know that they'd be quite upset if they weren't invited. Sorry about the huge rant! Has anyone else had problems like this? How did you decide? We're thinking that if we can knock a few people off then we can afford something else that we'd really like for the wedding. But arrrgh so stressful!! Thanks in advance, ladies!
CommentAuthorNataleeM
hi hun and congrats on the big day. We had this situation also. We would love all of our family to coe but at £47 a head this simply could not happen, so we have crossed all cousins off the list (this is basically half- including their kids) and we only have our very very close friends coming which is down to 4. so all have it down to 45 and then 120 for our evening due. Im sad that not all our family could come but they can help us celebrate in the evening xx
Can not wait until I marry the man of my DREAMS
CommentAuthorShannonK05
Congrats to you too Natalee! :) well done for making the decision to narrow it down. Do your cousins and their children live close by or will they have to travel? I feel as if they'd make the effort to travel to Scotland if it was for the whole day, but maybe they won't bother if it's only for the evening :/ oh and I have another question! Is it acceptable to invite someone to the ceremony at the church, then not invite them to the wedding breakfast but invite them to the reception later on? I dunno if this would be really cruel or not.
CommentAuthorRachaelC80
Shannon, it's YOUR Wedding day so do what YOU want. We only had 40 people to the ceremony and reception, most being immediate family(Mums,Dads and Sisters and their families) no Aunties, Uncles or Cousins, however we did have about 16 close friends as we see them more than family. I told my Aunties and Uncles before hand and they were all fine with it and understood tho I did invite them to the evening do.
For us we felt it was more important to have our close friends there.
:-)
CommentAuthorElinor Claire
I've invited Aunts and Uncles but not cousins, as I really don't know them. I don't know my Aunts and Uncles on my Dad's side very well, but I'm inviting them because it wouldn't be fair to invite only my mum's sister.
30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.
Congrats; I had the same problem with my h2b's family which is quite large so we have decided to be a bit mean and not invite any kids to the wedding breakfast; it is £89! per head so it seems like a lot of money to pay for 6 kids per head when they probably won't eat much (they are between 2 and 10) so hopefully their parents can still come to the breakfast and the kids can come to the evening reception; to be fair I wouldn't mind if certain people didn't come.
I would invite your close friends as like you said; you're not very close to your cousins; who would you rather be there? Blood is not always thicker then water; if your friends are like family then I think they should be there :)
Met in 2009
Got together on12th May 2011, proposed on the 12th May 2013
When you get knocked down; smile and pick yourself up again!
Fight for what you believe in!
CommentAuthorStephanieM71
I've gone for friends over cousins, even though I know most of them won't make the long journey just for the evening whereas my friends are closer and could just come for the evening. It simply came down to deciding who I wanted to come rather then felt obliged to invite and my friends won over quite easily, I couldn't imagine getting married without them x
CommentAuthorKirsty
We had strict rules, aunts and uncles got an invite, cousins only got an invite if we had seen them socially in the last year and frinds whi we socialise with got an invite. There have been a few questions but we just explained the rules, everyone has been very understanding!
CommentAuthorShannonK05
Thanks for the help everyone! I'm still not completely decided, but I think I'll go with my friends. As Kirsty said, it would just be wrong to get married without them! But my cousins I can live without. Thank you ladies and good luck with all your planning! :) xxx
CommentAuthorInDreamland
I agree that those you are closest to get the invite and others I'm afraid are only accommodated at the evening reception if budget stretches to it. It's okay to invite to the evening only but tell people they're welcome to attend the ceremony if they want but you cannot accommodate for the main reception due to space and budget constraints. If people kick off because of your decision and choices they're not people you really want anyway as they clearly are not understanding or love and care enough for you.
A friend of mine told me that her rule for inviting her wedding guests was, if you're prepared and happy to buy a meal for that person foror at any other ooccasion then they get an invite, if not they were off the list, I applied that and it worked for me too xxx
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorclairenina
We're hardly inviting any family, just a few (as we never bother with alot of them, so not inviting them just for a free feed). Most of our guests will be friends
CommentAuthorWhovianbride
Its your day, but family are always family, friends may not always be friends, my cousins MOH came onto her husband and so are no longer friends. But If your not particuarly close to some family then don't invite them, Im not inviting 2 of my cousins as I never hear from them even tho they live close by, and one has never even met my daughter who is now two! If I myself were to pick without fear of moaning or repercusions I would have most my cousins there and not my aunts and uncles as they are boring, but they never forget my birthday and see them all fairly often, I don't know what to do about Ohs family, as he does not seem to see alot of them like ever, since we have been together I have met whole family once at his sis wedding, his dads family once at a christning, which then none of them bothered with our daughters naming day, and seen 2 of his cousins twice , and then his mums brother and family twice at christmas . I know its a different family with Different dynamics, but its so different, we have seen more of his birth mothers family in the last year than we have seem his adoptive family.
Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
