As some of you know im being a moh twice this year (yaaaaay) lol So 2 hen nights! But this morning I got into abit of a heated discussion with one of the brides :s And now i dont no what to do...
Basically the jist of the convo went like this: "do i need to put money into the hen night fund too?" "well i did divide it by all of us to make it cheaper for everyone..." (seeing as going away for the night is her idea) she then said..."yes. but then ive got to pay to get down there..." my reply -"but everyone else has to do that aswell..." "yes but oh is getting it all paid for him, all his mates are going to buy him drinks and everything." so then i said "ill see what i could do" she sent me a text about 20mins ago sayin "leave it. ill sort something out somehow"
ive havent replied yet cos im abit miffed off... and now i dont no if im wrong or if shes wrong. do people think its wrong that the bride pays for her part of the hen night?! My other friend has no problem with this...and ive never expected people to pay for me on my hen night! and the brides ive none have paid for their own part... or does a bride expect others to pay?
CommentAuthorRachy
She needs to pay!!! As the bride she can't expect the others to pay for her hen do!!!
If a bride is lucky enough that the other girls want to pay for her then that should be a bonus and a luxury, certainly not an expectation!! xx
CommentAuthorRachy
I also think that the text she sent you was very unfair and a bit mean!! xx
CommentAuthorMrsLJDeaton
I wish I could help I personally would want to pay for all of us but I get no say in my hen do my girlies said you just need to show up and I don't even know what outfit they will pick for me either but going from that sounds like my girls are paying for me and themselves I will have to wait and see unless you set a budget and give the girls the money to plan a hen night for you what is an acceptable budget thoe spend the same amount of money your H2B spends on his stag do i guess =D ♥X
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CommentAuthorLittle Kettle
Whilst it would be nice for friends to offer to pay for the brides part of the hen do, I have to say it' a little much to expect it. I didn't expect it and in fact I insisted I paid my way, but then that's me all over. I personally think it's a little bit cheeky of her to say that.
I would never have dreamt for some one to pay my share. My moh and myself sorted the evening out, between herself and another friend they got the goodies for the night out. We stayed over the night and I paid my share, I also paid my share on the boat. It was just equally shared out,
Our wedding day - 6 October 2012
CommentAuthorMrsA-J
im glad i have people that think the same.
Im sat here really won up! I think the text was abit harsh! And it seemed to me like the text was actually a text of - well ive got to make out im ok with this but im not so ill make her feel guilty by sticking the "somehow" on the end!!
CommentAuthorMrsGothBride
cheeky if you ask me to expect it to be free!
if friends insisted on buying drinks or whatever then thats fine but to expect it is just wrong.
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CommentAuthorx~Hails~x
I think it is customary to buy the bride to a DRINK each but to pay for the whole thing isnt usually done and is a bit of a cheek to expect it! Ok so her h2b is getting his all paid for him, that's down to his mate's its their choice and she shouldn't expect the same because of that!
I personally would refuse to go if a b2b said that to me! Especially as I would struggle to pay for my self if it was anything other then a night on the town as I have bills and 3 kids to think of which take priority!
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CommentAuthorKayleighH98
DO any of you watch that bridezilla? I hate brides like that, I dont understand them, yes its there day but it doesnt mean theyre allowed to be disrespectful of other people, thats like saying shes getting married so all her guests should pay for her to. I think shes being a bit too greedy and if shes wanting to get there then she will have to pay for her travel, its only fair, Im sure you all dont mind buying her a drink each or whatever, but its a bit harsh to expect everyone to pay for her all the time! xx
Once upon a time....
CommentAuthorShazk
it is cheeky of her to expect it to be free when i was bm (my sister moh) we said about all chipping in a bit more so bride dint have to pay but she would of been more than willing to if we ahdnt decided it was only few quid more each
Id be temtepted like toehr have siad not to go if she going to be like that xx
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CommentAuthorLinzi-jo
No you do not have to pay for her at all! As Hails said, it is normally good manners for each hen to buy the bride a drink, but that is all! And if she has decided that she wants to go away somewhere from where she lives, then she cant expect everyone to pay for themselves and then her on top! Don't let her make you feel bad! She knows she has to pay, so just leave it at that xxx
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CommentAuthorMrs Jones
I would be really annoyed because that is so cheeky. It her hen do so she should expect to pay. Bonus if she didn't have to.
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CommentAuthorTatty
I don't think you should all pay for her. Why not have a kitty jar or something and you can just put a few quid in each, then she gets some freebies but it's not costing you all a fortune. x
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CommentAuthorLauraJo87
H2b is paying for me.
I think traditionally the hen doesn't pay, but that was back in the day when hen nights consisted of a night round town. If theyre wanting to go away, they should pay.
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CommentAuthorMrs-Mouse-2-be
A bride should not expect that everyone pays for her, though it is generally acceptable for girls to offer to pay something towards her expense. I would always offer to pay but it really really annoys me when a bride says "Everyone must pay for me". I've never been an MOH before, just a bridesmaid but I have had a really bad experience once where I wasn't told we were staying overnight in a hotel, wasn't told the MOH had ordered a stripper and that I had to chip in for that and the brides meal. I did bring money with me but I could barely afford my own meal and a lemonade after I had shelled out everything I had to the bride. Though on that occasion it wasn't her fault as it was the MOH who had organised the entire thing. I ordered tap water with my meal and some of the other hens started laughing. All I wanted to do was go home but I was about 100 miles from home and had no money for a bus or train. Oh and I was handed a costume as were the others and I was told it had costed £15 and that I could give MOH the £15 the next day. I said no if you want me to wear the thing ill wear it but you will be getting the costume back tomorrow as I don't have £15. MOH went mad but I just stuck to my guns plus I didn't have £15 to give her it was awful.
Had to go without breakfast the next day too as I had no money so when it came to settling the hotel bill the next day there was another row between myself and MOH because I hadn't offered to pay towards the brides breakfast. I remember pulling the lining of my pockets right out of my trousers saying "if you find any money in these you can have it because you completely cleaned me out yesterday yet you did not pre warn me that you were expecting us to shell out so much money".
Anyway yeah I just think girls should chip in if they want to rather than be expected to. I think that brides can sometimes really go overboard with their expectations. As ill be a bride next summer myself I won't be expecting the girls to pay for everything and they can offer to if they want but no one will be making them.
CommentAuthorRachy
Oh my god "Ill-be-36" that sounds awful! If you're expected to pay for anything you should be told well in advance!! x
CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
That's awful, not only should you be told in advance, you should also be given the opportunity to pay off in bits maybe. On my hen, I had a few drop out last minute, fortunately it was only the one person in a room which I offered to pay extra for anyway. If I had booked a specific seating area in the club though I would have got people to pay up front for it
Our wedding day - 6 October 2012
CommentAuthorVelcro
it would be nice if it was affordable etc and the girls didnt mind - but Id expect to pay my share for mine I wouldnt expect or dream of telling my bms they have to pay for me.
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CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
Might be worth speaking with the others going and seeing if it is affordable for them to say put an extra £5 each in, it might not be much but it is a contribution towards the hen.
Our wedding day - 6 October 2012
CommentAuthorSazzell23
when I was organising my friends hen for 30 people, basically she said same thing to me - that as the bride she shouldn't have to pay her share! I was really taken aback but decided to find the money out the budget for her to keep things sweet. When it came my turn to get married, she was involved in organising the hen and didn't organise for my share to be covered. I paid my way but did find it selfish that she'd done that when she was bride xx
CommentAuthorKimD7
I would not expect my friends to pay for my hen night...i am just so pleased we can all get together. I am be the bride but I also know everyone else is putting their hands in their own pockets to join me.
CommentAuthorPenguinJ
I would expect to pay for myself as a bride yes! If people did pay then great but I would not assume that I would be paid for xxx
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CommentAuthorJillianL47
I think she should pay as that is what your group of friends seem to do. I am not paying for my hen do, although I did tell them that I was willing to pay my way, but my H2B is paying for his Stag do. We have both gone along with what our friends have said.
CommentAuthorMrsA-J
Well at current were paying £75 for the night. and i did ask everyone for a contribution on a £5 for bits for her like l plates and tiara n vail ect....and theres only 4 of us... its an extra £20 nearly to cover her. But then theres the drinks and food ect and its like hails said we all have kids and homes and bills to pay out AND 3 of us dont have regular work :/
CommentAuthorTori
I think it is cheeky to expect everyone to pay for her. If she didn't want to incur any cost then she shouldn't have requested a night away
CommentAuthor*KelBel*
I'm paying for mine... I think it's cheeky that she's expecting it just cos her h2b is getting it.... It's a bit different if they'd all suggested it but u haven't x
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CommentAuthoralmost a year wife!!
I wouldn't expect people to pay for me (if they want to then bring it on ;) hehe) Me and my friends moh are paying for all goody bags and sashes as well as our own way, I've not paid anything towards our bride as her mum and moh have done that.... I will chip in if asked to though x
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CommentAuthorMelanieR15
I think she should pay! Her friends will happily plan her hen do for her i am sure, but to ask or even worse expect them to pay for her is outrageous! I would be mad!
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CommentAuthorPenguinJ
yeh i think that is cheeky :) xxx
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CommentAuthorSianyCaitlin
I'm going to be paying for me & the girls will pay for themselves, I'd never in a million years expect them to pay! xx
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CommentAuthorSamanthaG76
You're right. I went on a hen weekend where we had to pay for the bride and i was really miffed!! Just because you're the bride it doesn't mean that everything should be paid for x
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CommentAuthorMrs-Mouse-2-be
Rachy it was so bad and the best about it was the MOH lived right next door to me at the time and a week before the hen do I knocked on her door and asked her what we were doing and how much money should I bring. I didnt even have a change of clothes, no pyjamas no nothing as she couldn't be bothered informing me.
CommentAuthorJoanna
I'll be 36, that's so terrible! I can't believe that happened, I would have been appalled with the moh!
But I do think that if I were on a hen do, I wouldn't be annoyed if I was asked to pay for the bride. In fact, I would like to as it would be a nice treat for the bride. Obviously only if I was aware of it beforehand though!
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CommentAuthorAmyP7
How cheeky, I would not expect people to pay for me. X x
CommentAuthorRosyF77
she should not expect you to pay! she chose the activity/venue so she should pay!!!! Its quite rude i think xx
CommentAuthorPrincess2be
its cheeky, everyone shud pay their share. x
CommentAuthorAmyK
I thought it was the other way around... I'm saving up to subsidise the evening so that my hen-guests aren't expected to spend loads on something they might otherwise not be able to afford...
CommentAuthorMrsA-J
Awrrr AmyK thats so kind! Ive not heard of a bride doing that! Thats really thoughtful.
Im glad people do sort of feel the same as me. Not heard of her since this morning! She might have fallen out with me! lol
CommentAuthorpink*wink
its my hen do on saturday and i have paid my way! if my hens offer to buy me a drink, then that wld b lovely but i certainly wldnt expect it! expecting it kinda comes across spoilt :O xx
CommentAuthorLittleMissWorry
Agree with all the others, that's sooooo cheeky! If she didn't want to spend money on her hen night, she shouldn't have said she wanted to go away for the night!
I really feel that some brides get a little bit carried away with the 'its all about me'
CommentAuthorInDreamland
I never expect anyone to pay for my share of my hen. I think that it is an hknour that ladies want to come and spemd all or part of my hen with me and share the celebration then on top of that they are paying to do so. Theeforeni expect myself tompay my fair share.
It is likely that the bride will be treated to something but this shoukd not be expected, everyone has different financial circumstances so some may not be able to afford to supplement someone else's share.
For my sister's hen, she fully expected to pay her fair share and she even preordered and pajd for drinks for everyone. However, on the night her friends bought her more drinks and in the spa I paid for all her treatments as a surprise.
So in short, the bride should pay her way!
Her h2b is very lucky, my h2b is paying his share ofnhis stag abroad but no doubt he will be bought drinks out there.
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CommentAuthorSaraA20
I'm moh this year and also getting married. I havent expected and neither has she. I would of liked to have planned a little something that she wasnt aware of, but the times being as they are people can only just afford it as it is!
CommentAuthorxbeckix88
I wouldnt expect my friends to pay out for me on my hen night! I think her text was a little unfair on you too.
I have planned my own hen night and while i am dividing all the costs between my friends & not including myself in it, this is only because ive already paid my share by paying all the deposits so that cost me twice as much as what each of them is paying.
I agree with some of the other comments if it was going to cost her too much she shouldnt of chosen a night away or should of spoken to everyone first to see what everyone could afford before planning it.
CommentAuthorMrsWright290912
I paid for my part of my hen night. Don't see why others should have to pay for themselves and for me too!
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CommentAuthorJODY
Generally in any hen party iv beeen to the bride soesnt pay but it gets divided between everyone else-usually it may only add about £7 on to the total price of everyone elses but I guess if its more expensive than that she should at least contribute!xx
CommentAuthorMel D
edited
I paid my way on my hen do ... my MOH was really good and broke the day into parts so people could chose to miss some parts out if they couldn't afford it. Afterwards I told her to add everything up and if there was anything extra outstanding to let me know and I'd give it to her so that she wouldn't be out of pocket. She did mention that she would have like to have arranged it so that I didn't pay anything and I told her not to so ridiculous and why on earth would I expect everyone else to pay for me?
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CommentAuthormillz090
Maybe she is just confused as boys paying for the stag?! I said all along i was paying for my own hen do and will equally pay and don't expect my drinks brought for me either however the stags laughed and said they were all chipping in for H2B's accommodation, travel and drinks as what the guys do?! However i have told H2B its unfair to expect the boys to pay, even though they all wanted too so he has insisted he pays his fairshare and they have agreed.
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CommentAuthornatalie2614
I wouldn't ever expect for my hens to pay for me and I fully expect to badger the life out of my mother until she tells me how much I need to give her.
Mine is a suprise because I didn't want one originally and they planned it in secret. Witches!
Married my best friend 05.04.2013
CommentAuthorMrsA-J
Lol yeh but if its surptise you shouldnt really pay lol By askin you for money it would then not be a surprise! Lol x
