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Wedding Forum - Who should I choose as my bridesmaids?...

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  1.  
    • AmyG917
      CommentAuthorAmyG917
      Getting married in 8 months
      Posted: Feb 17th 2020
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      edited
     
    I cannot decide who to have! Back in the day when all my friends were getting married, I was a bridesmaid 5 times - for my sister and 4 close friends. I always thought I would have all those girls as my bridesmaids but years have gone by and friendships have changed. I am 40 now - we had our kids first. So those days seem a long time ago. Things change don't they.

    So as I have got older and so many kids have been born, I decided to just have my sister as a matron of honour, and my two neices and daughter as bridesmaids (aged 9, 7 and 5). I also have my son 4, and 5 nephews as page boys! So that is a fairly hefty wedding party and I thought it would be keeping things simple.

    BUT then we got engaged and started planning the wedding and my thoughts have changed a little. A sis in law who I am very close to evidently would LOVE to be a bridesmaid and I would love to have her. If I have her, I feel obliged to have the other two sis in laws who I am not so close to but I don't wish to upset. So that is not in question, its none or all three of them. I cant just have the one. Although I do wonder if my brothers wife would even want to do it - lovely girl and we get on but I don't know if its her 'thing'. I could sound my brother out about that perhaps. Anyway - these girls will be part of my life forever and they are all lovely so it seems a good option.

    So that would keep it a nice family event. My sis and three sis in laws. BUT I have two best girl friends who are both godmothers to my children. I was their bridesmiad and I had considered having them do readings as a compromise (before I even started thinking about the three sis in laws being bridesmaids). But I went out with fiance on Saturday had a few to drink and in my heart of hearts (I think the truth comes out when a bit tipsy) I think I want these two friends as well. BUT logistically it would be hard as one lives on the other side of the world. (just thinking about trying on dresses).

    So what would you do. Just the sister, and the kids? OR just the sis and sis in laws and the kids. OR go the whole hog and have my sister, the sis in laws AND the two friends?

    Budget is obvs going to be tough if I grow my bridesmaids from 1 adult and 3 kids to 6 adults and 3 kids!!!
    Though I could say I can do dresses but they do hair and make up themselves perhaps. Wedding cars get a little trickier!
    I have been pondering this for so long.
    I would love to ask my sis in laws on Saturday (if i am asking them at all) when we have a little night out together with my mother in law to celebrate the engagement, so time is crunching now.

    I guess I want to throw caution to the wind and have them all. Why should I scale down just because I am an older bride doing this later in life (only 40 lol!). I want a little team of girls supporting me on the day and a few people getting ready with me in the morning you know?!

    Please help!!
  2.  
    • KerriR86
      CommentAuthorKerriR86
      Posted: Mar 2nd 2020
     
    Hey Amy,

    What did you decide on? Or are you still deciding?

    If you haven’t decided already, go with your gut.
    If you want all of them, have all of them.

    But, don’t just ask people just because you feel like you will hurt their feelings, or don’t want to leave people out.
    If they are your true friends and family then they will understand. No one is made of money, and no one should be made to feel guilty if they don’t ask everyone they know/get on well with.

    It doesn’t matter about what age you get married at, as long as you are happy in the decisions you make, and are certain of who you want to join you on the big day :)
 
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