Ahhhh annoys me so much when people make you feel like your having a 'cheap, crappy' wedding because they are spending thoooussssaaaaands on theirs...what difference does a 3k dress make...does it make u love ur h2b more? what difference does a cake that has cost 2k make to your life as a couple...I know there will be people that disagree..but it gets right on my nerves when you get people assuming that they are so much better because they are having a wedding for 20k... a girl at my h2bs workplace has been trying to ask how much our budget is..so effin rude..and going ''ohhh I wouldnt be happy unless i get a dress for 5k'' well I think she might be getting married for the wrong reasons really.... arrghhh plus unless u can actually afford it...why get married for a lifetime of debt..which is likely to be the reason for why so many people get a bloody divorce 2years later these days! lol grr..rant over!
CommentAuthorLauraJo87
I agree a hundred present hun. I suspect those people who are bragging about how much they are spending on the day itself have not thought too much about what the day is about or what it signifies. Fair play if you've got the money to do it, go for it, but it's a more expensive wedding day doesn't necessarily make for a better day, nor does it mean you have a better relationship or will have a better marriage than anyone else xx
My Beating Heart Belongs To You
30 August 2013
The First Day Of My Happily Ever After
CommentAuthorLulu1388
edited
Totally know where you are coming from hun,
Cant put a price on true love!!
So many brides on here have this rant dont worry! and the same answer every single time.... brides budgets across ukbride vary from one extreme to the other and every single bride is just as happy!
Its the quality not quantity!! Yes I may have 'splurged' on certain things but thats not out of the fact I 'just' can, its just how it happened, not exactly the happiest about it but i will work hard to be able to pay for it & will do what i can where i can in order to keep within budget you know?
So many brides on here have got their dream wedding for under £5k, some brides got their bridal gowns for £50, some for £5k, doesn't make their day any more or less special! Doesn't matter what costs what, the main thing is you are marrying your man! Price doesn't make the day, or the relationship, or the marriage! its the people! x
Every Once In a While In The Middle of an Ordinary Life
. . . Love Gives Us a Fairytale. . .
CommentAuthorMrsWearn2be
Its just constant day in day out for my h2b apparently, this girl is so materialistic... The reason Im getting married is because I want to spend the rest of my life with my h2b...but she just goes on n on about how much things cost.. its really getting on our nerves..my h2b hasnt given anything away..thats why she keeps asking..he tells her its none of her business..
CommentAuthorShelleyM46
i agree its ur day n should b how u want it now matter wat any1 says or thinks n we went to a weddin a few years ago n the family spent thousands on it it wa a great day ( bit over top ) but 6 months l8r after gettin every1 in debt she left him for sum1 else x
cant wait to marry the love of my life
my soul mate and my best friend
Oh dear! lol Well it happens more often than not.... we all know weddings do add up a fair bit..and u set a budget and then it does drift slightly over sometimes...I started on 4k...but now its realistically looking like 6k including honeymoon...but even thats a struggle for us... just dont appreciate being made to feel like we must be having a right cheapo wedding when we're working so hard to try and pay for what we are having... xxx
CommentAuthorLulu1388
edited
Good for him! My aunt is like that, when we first started looking for photographers and shoes my cousin kept giving me all the info she had used, but the problem with her was it would all get back to my Aunt and obviously with the stuff she was giving me she knew all the prices and thats all they think about - competing you know?
Its ridiculous what some people focus on! My close friends text and ask how wedding prep is going or what the latest developments are and stuff and i'll tell them certain things but no mention of price or budget or anything like that, and they dont ask either! they know not to! If he keeps telling her to keep her nose out she'll eventually get the hint, tell him to just try and grin and bear it for time being!
Whats worse is people who are having a £3k or £6k wedding whatever are made to feel cheap and crappy compared to those having a £20k wedding but £3000 is still a hell of a lot of money considering day to day expenses and living and there is no way anybody can turn around and say its cheap!! Weddings are ridiculously expensive to fund and everyone is in the same boat working hard to save, or using life savings etc, £3000 or £300,000 it is a lot of money to everyone!!! x
Every Once In a While In The Middle of an Ordinary Life
. . . Love Gives Us a Fairytale. . .
CommentAuthorbarbie86
edited
I think it's rude to judge someone for their budget whatever it is.
As someone with a bigger budget (£20k plus) I get fed up of people suggesting that we don't 'need' to spend that, that weddings are about love, etc etc; as if the fact we are spending more means we must not love each other. It's just bizarre.
People should spend what they can afford, be that £2k or £200k, and not be criticised for it. I would NEVER criticise someone for spending less as a) not everyone can afford to and b) not everyone wants to even if they can afford to. Yet I have had several people make snide remarks about my budget: why?...
I agree that the things you've mentioned ultimately don't affect your future life together; but if someone can afford £3k on a dress so what? Why shouldn't they have a £3k dress?.. As it is, in our case despite having a large budget we still have to make savings and spend wisely, so have concentrated on spending it on things that are important to us, like good food and drink and entertainment, as, as hosts, it's important to us our guests are well fed and watered and have a lot of fun; if that means DIYing our stationary to save, that's cool :-)
Basically I just wish people would try not to judge either way; I personally happen to think there's a lot of 'inverse snobbery' around at the moment when it comes to weddings, with smaller budgets celebrated, and bigger budget couples derided.
ETA: I agree it's rude to ask someone how much they're spending. I hate being asked, and never give a straight answer, because I know they'll comment, and frankly it's none of their business lol
CommentAuthorLulu1388
Oh Barbie, I wasnt saying its not right to be able to have bigger budget wedding, i totally get that it is criticised either way! I was just making the point that doesn't matter what the cost, its about the meaning behind it, and some people just focus on the budget rather than the meaning!
I can hardly talk I have a bigger budget than some but im not focussing on that and choosing more expensive things for the sake of it im still trying to make sure i get a good value for money deal and things like that! Just like you have said yourself, spending more on the important parts like food and drink!
But I think what MrsWearn2be was saying was that she's sick of being targetted over the price tag of things rather than what she's having for her special day? If that makes sense!
xx
Every Once In a While In The Middle of an Ordinary Life
. . . Love Gives Us a Fairytale. . .
CommentAuthorMrsWearn2be
edited
But this is what my post is about...people with bigger budgets that ARE making me and my h2b feel like we're worthles.. and one of your points.. ''concentrating on spending it on things that are important to us.. like making sure our guests are well fed and watered'' well that to me suggests that because im having a cheap wedding... my guests are being treated like pigeons..sorry its just my opinion...and this post wasnt aimed at anyone personally..other than the girl thats making me and my h2b feel like crap
Yes lula..thats what I am annoyed about...the girl at my h2b's workplace trying to make us look like we're having a rubbish wedding...I havnt got a 3k dress...so I must look like a troll on my wedding day.. all of that..making me feel cheap because I havnt even wanted a 3k dress...
CommentAuthorMrsWearn2be
But to add barbie..noway is this aimed at u! I dont know you personally, so that wouldnt be fair to do that..and appologies if it seemed rude, but sometimes it just does feel like people with bigger budgets think they are more superior..and thats just my opinion..
CommentAuthorShelleyM46
ur same as me hun we said 4k but now we worked everything out its 6k its a shocker wen uv got nowt lol we just sed if we need 2 change the date we change it.im sure we can work it out.its hard wi me wi my nanna coz she pitcures church wedding, big dress ,fancy cars ,sit down meal lovely if uv got money 4 it n yeah id love 2 do it but we just cant afford it iv got the nice dress tho thats right for me n gettin married a our local pub no cars or sit down meal were havin a bbq n a bouncy castle lol : )
cant wait to marry the love of my life
my soul mate and my best friend
CommentAuthorbarbie86
Then I think you're being a little sensitive TBH; because that was clearly not what I meant. I meant that despite having a larger budget, we can't have everything, and have to prioritise, so have focused on spending the biggest chunk on things that are most important to us.
If we had a smaller budget, food and drink would still be important, we would still ensure our guests were well fed and watered, but we'd compromise on say, having canapes, plus a sit down meal, plus an evening buffet, and probably have a later ceremony with a buffet, and instead of champagne we'd have sparkling wine, etc. But most of our budget would still go on those areas, even if that meant making huge cut-backs elsewhere eg cost of my dress and accessories.
I just think you need to be careful with a post like this, especially the title. I personally found it quite rude; the implication is very much that you don't need to spend £20k to marry 'the person you love'. I would say most brides get that, but they WANT to spend £20k, and there's nothing wrong with that either (provided they can afford it).
I also find it interesting that people always seem to imply bigger budget weddings must somehow be less loving: people divorce for all kinds of reasons; their wedding budget has zero to do with it.
CommentAuthorMrsWearn2be
Yeh, if you can afford it your lucky...but I just dont like the attitudes that come with price tags and money... people judge you based on a price tag..and like barbie said I guess that can be the other way round too... its just I feel more and more that its people with bigger budgets shunning our wedding as if its some kind of mockery of theirs at a larger scale.. but that sounds lovely Shelley...im just getting married at a registry office, and found a good package deal for a sit down meal and evening reception at a hotel... only 50day guests and 80(ish) evening xxx
CommentAuthorMrsWearn2be
edited
Barbie..its my opinion..im entitled.... Im not going to change my mind just because you say so..sorry... this post is about a girl at my h2bs work place who has said she wouldnt be happy unless she spends a certain amount..thats why i put the title I did...its obviously ruffled your feathers alot..but its my opinion..sorry if u dont agree... I havnt judged you as a person..infact made it quite clear it was about a person me and my h2b know..who has been purposely trying to make us feel rubbish...so dont assume this post is about u..its my opinion..and im sorry if u dont like it
CommentAuthormym72
We didn't set ourselves a strict budget to begin with - but there was no way I wanted to waste thousands on unnecessary things. We had 19 of us at the wedding altogether - not because of penny pinching, but because we only wanted people that we considered close to us to celebrate with us, and couldn't see the point of paying out for people we hear from once in a blue moon lol.
We didn't have favours - again, not because of budget but because we couldn't really see the point giving something that would probably get left behind anyway. We've never been to any weddings with them and knew nobody would miss them. After all, we paid outfor food and drink so why extra for a little gift.
Same with chair covers - it was just an added, and worthless, expense. Luckily our venue's decor was the same as our colour scheme anyway, but if it hadn't have been we still wouldn't have got them because again we couldn't see the point.
At the end of the day you can go overboard with the 'extras' but people won't remember them. The genuine guests are there to see you get married- the materialistic will nit pick at things you have/haven't got - and these ones aren't worth inviting anyway.
Our policy was don't buy unnecessary things and if you can't afford it, don't do it.
CommentAuthorLauraJo87
Everybody play nicely!
Xx
My Beating Heart Belongs To You
30 August 2013
The First Day Of My Happily Ever After
CommentAuthorMrsWearn2be
edited
Agreed LauraJo... its getting a bit personal now..when I made it quite clear from my post that is was about a girl we know giving us grief....
CommentAuthormillz090
I brought my dress on Saturday and spent £1500 on it plus tiara and veil and i have had a few comments that 'we have more money then sense' or 'its only for one day', 'what a waste of money', etc and it makes me feel guilty for spending money so i am avoiding telling people how much it costs but im suprised people ask actually. I think its your money whether its £2k or £20k and people shouldnt be so rude to even ask your budget or how much certain things cost as none of their business and either way you will have the perfect wedding for that couple no matter how much or little it costs xxx
Finally marrying the love of my life !!
10th August 2013 - 9 years to the day we met !
CommentAuthorMrsWearn2be
I agree Millz...this is why its rumbled me...this girl is trying to say that we wont have a good wedding unless we do spend 20k..and thats why Ive had a little rant!
CommentAuthorLauraJo87
Exactly, I can't believe people are asking us how much things are costing too..
One person has even gone so far as to look in the venues website to see what sort of prices they are!
It's up to the individual how much they want to spend; whether that be 2k or 200k.
The only think I don't agree with is getting massively in debt to pay for the day xx
My Beating Heart Belongs To You
30 August 2013
The First Day Of My Happily Ever After
CommentAuthormillz090
edited
My brother got married this year on £3k and it was a lovely day, they made it personal to them and exactly how they wanted. Whereas we are spending £10k and im not saying our wedding will be better or worse then theres but will be perfect to us and how we want it and if we had £3k to spend we would have made it perfect for us on that budget too. I think people get carried about and compete against each other sometimes especially within families and friends xxx
Finally marrying the love of my life !!
10th August 2013 - 9 years to the day we met !
CommentAuthorbarbie86
Why is it I think this could be in response to a comment I made on the photography thread? Yes, it could be coincidence; I somehow doubt it.
You are entitled to your opinion: I personally find threads like this rude and defensive.
CommentAuthorShelleyM46
id just tell the woman at work 2 get off her high horse n that a nice way of puttin it lol end of day its ur day n bout u n h2b its all bout money n tryin 2 please every1 else dont wanna sound a b**** but my attitude now is u cant please every1 so f em xx
cant wait to marry the love of my life
my soul mate and my best friend
CommentAuthorMrsWearn2be
Oh my! thats cheeky lol I agree, doesnt matter what u do spend...its just hit a nerve that there is someone suggesting we are having a naff wedding because its not 20k+ like her....hense the title of the post xxx
CommentAuthorTori
I think that people should be entitled to spend what they want for their wedding. My budget is small as I feel that I can have just as good a day spending £5k as I would spending £20k and if my friends and family or anyone else for that matter wanted to judge me on that then let them, personally I couldn't care less as the sole reason I am having a wedding is to have a marriage at the end of it.
I think whether you plan on spending £200 or £2m provided you spend the money you want and have a good day, then who cares what other people think xx
CommentAuthorMrsWearn2be
edited
barbie..your getting very personal...the photography thread has nothing to do with it..I didnt even notice it was u that posted... Its something thats been on my mind recently due to my h2bs constant nagging from this snob at work..I dont have to explain myself to you... if you've got a problem with me..perhaps stop posting and assuming the whole thread revolves around u... sorry to be blunt
CommentAuthorMrsWearn2be
edited
I would just like to stress...I havnt intended to offend anyone...and as most of you lovely ladies have read my post..have seen why I wrote what I did...and have mainly agreed about this girl at h2bs work pestering us..it isnt about any particular person on this site...its my opinion, everyones entitled to it...and this is what I think... you dont have to agree... but my opinion is driven by the constant put downs from a person me and h2b know..hense the rant xx
CommentAuthornatalie2614
Liek the forum rules state, members are entitled to an opinion. Both of you have stated your opinions which just happen to clash. Play nice ladies, this is a support forum for brides past and present we dont need heated debates.
Back to the original question though, Ive been to a wedding where £6k was spend and one where £25k was spent. Both beautiful and individual to the couples and loved them both for different reasons. I still wouldnt justify such a large amount on my day, and certainly adopt Myms approach of not buying un necessary things. And I certainly dont tell anyone what is being spent, thats between me and h2b and whoever is helping us
Married my best friend 05.04.2013
CommentAuthorLauraJo87
I don't think this thread is rude, personally.
People with smaller budgets shouldn't be made to feel inadequate, and people with larger budgets shouldn't be derided for it either.
Simples! I don't think anyone is trying to offend anyone, or saying one way is better than the other.
Chillax guys.
Xx
My Beating Heart Belongs To You
30 August 2013
The First Day Of My Happily Ever After
CommentAuthormillz090
Money is such a touchy subject so always best avoided, (in my opinion) Lol xxx
Finally marrying the love of my life !!
10th August 2013 - 9 years to the day we met !
CommentAuthorMrsWearn2be
Thank-you..I didnt mean the post to be rude..and dont believe it is either... its obviously just a conflicting opinion.. and something that some people get very defensive about...please dont draw away from the fact its about a personal encounter with a girl who 'is' being very price tag about our wedding.... im 100% certain that not everyone with big budgets are like this...its just annoyed me that the girl is question is making us feel crappy because my dress is not 5k etc..
CommentAuthorMrsWearn2be
Yes.. Millz...perhaps I shouldnt of bothered now! lol...but its nice to see alot of ladies can see the real reason why I posted what I did.. xxx
CommentAuthorMRST2B
We have a budget of £7500 of which £2000 is donations from our parents im happy to say we have everything we need to make it a lively day, the traditional stuff venue dress cars cake etc but I will be honest I wouldn't mind a little bit more for a few things from our extras list like childrens entertainment etc but it doesn't mean im not happy with what I have on the day. Also have a very nosey SIL 2b that wants to know the ins and outs of our budget and can't see how we can have a "proper wedding" day on what we are spending, she does make me laugh lol :)
Back with my 1st love after 12 years apart.
Not letting go this time :) x
CommentAuthormillz090
Honey i am sure you will look and feel amazing in whatever you wear (even a bin bag) as marrying the man you love so money will go out the window on the day !! xx
Finally marrying the love of my life !!
10th August 2013 - 9 years to the day we met !
CommentAuthorbarbie86
natalie: Yeah I also agree with mym's approach of not buying unnecessary things; eg we're not having cars, are our ceremony venue and reception venue are 2 minutes walk from each other, we're not doing favours as for us they're not worth it and we're spending a lot on our guests as it is, I'm making all the stationary inc invites, we're having very simple table centres as large ones would look OTT in our venue, I splurged on shoes, but, I do anyway, and I'll wear them again, H2B is buying a good suit he will wear again, etc.
About 1/3 of our budget has gone on food and drink lol; that's been our biggest spend. We're also splurging on the photography, and spending a reasonable chunk on the rings as they'll last.
We could definitely have spent less, but chose not to, as we wanted the day to be perfect for us; and hopefully it will be. I don't think though that because we're spending more it will be any better than anyone else's; what I do think is that our guests will see it as a reflection of us, and that's important to me :-)
CommentAuthorLulu1388
heres a mood lightener peeps - think 1 is needed - You can get bin bag wedding dresses btw Millz090...when someone made a comment about having to wear one the other day i g00gled it :D haha
But in all seriousness, MrsWearn2be you were expressing an opinion, and UKB is the place to go to vent over wedding related rants and that is all you were doing!! Money and weddings do not play fair and it is something that should be avoided in conversation at all times unless desperately needed to be mentioned!! There was no personal finger pointing or anything like that but as for the woman at work, tell her to stuff it!!
xx
Every Once In a While In The Middle of an Ordinary Life
. . . Love Gives Us a Fairytale. . .
CommentAuthorMrsWearn2be
Lol lula! really? might have to have a look myself.... not that I will be sporting the bin bag wedding dress on my wedding day..im confident that we are going to have a lovely day...we've got a lovely honeymoon in Italy to look forward to aswell... its nowhere exotic..but ive always wanted to go Italy and it was cheap.. so we booked it... Just makes me feel like some people will think our wedding cheap and untasteful because we havnt spent thousands.. and thats what this girl is making us feel like...we wont be telling her how much it costs..and she certainly isnt invited to the wedding..so its all going to be kept a secret...why do people do things like that? It makes me wonder if shes actually serious or shes just putting a big show on to make her look good, because shes being very judgmental of me and my h2b about things xxx
CommentAuthorLulu1388
Well she isnt worth it hun, just try and grin & bear it like i said earlier... there are some strange un's out there and there is no explanation for it but you just have to try and accept it and get on with it!! I know its a frustration but your OH is doing right thing telling her to butt out & keep at it, and if she realises its not getting to you then she'll stop... theres always someone and you have to try your best to deal with it!
Haha well don't know if exactly real bin bag dresses but plenty in images! did have a little chuckle to myself! You will look stunning don't you worry!!! It will be a fab day!
Ooh wow italy, sounds lovely!!! Never been myself! one day!! I've dipped into savings i shouldn't really touch and we're off to WDW for a week then Clearwater (beach style 'honeymoon' holiday) for 2nd week.. we are Disney fanatics (as you may have guessed) and he proposed to me in Disney Paris so was going to go there then on to Caribbean, but price wise was ALOT cheaper to do Florida and combine the 2!! and honeymooning in WDW gets you lots of freebies pahaha, we wish!! But yeh! xx
Every Once In a While In The Middle of an Ordinary Life
. . . Love Gives Us a Fairytale. . .
CommentAuthorMrsWearn2be
Awwww thats sweet... a nice story to tell aswell that he proposed in disney land paris... lol my h2b didnt actually ask me face to face..which im a bit gutted about..but it was still sweet...he sent me on a little treasure hunt around the house..he had put letters in certain places then giving me clues where to go next...so he put a card under our sons cot etc..it was pretty sweet but would looooved to have had him get down on one knee in person lol
Thanks for your advice anyway...minus the kafuffle in the middle where a few opinions went off on one lol.... I will certainly be hoping my h2b doesnt tell her anything..nosey little cow! hes got 5months of keeping it up! lol xxx
CommentAuthorLulu1388
awww really!! thats so lovely!! and what a lovely proposal story!!! the actual proposal bit is still quite a blur not sure if my OH actually got down on one knee at the time... he has done since in a jokey way when ive left ring in kitchen after baking or washing up and asked him to get it!! does that count!?!
haha im sure it will all be fine, if he doesn't keep his mouth shut he'll have you me and a whole lot of UKB members to deal with im sure!! xx
Every Once In a While In The Middle of an Ordinary Life
. . . Love Gives Us a Fairytale. . .
CommentAuthormillz090
Im off to google a bin Bag wedding dress haha !! the point i was making was it doesn't matter what you spend as long as you married at the end so tell the nosey girl at work to butt out !!! xxx
Finally marrying the love of my life !!
10th August 2013 - 9 years to the day we met !
CommentAuthorbarbie86
Re bin bag dresses: my mum made me a witches costume out of bin-bags when I was little and it was AMAZING! We were big into our arts and crafts lol. Down-side was in probably wasn't the safest thing to wear to a bonfire party...! :-s
CommentAuthorLulu1388
haha really Barbie!? amazing!! i hope you kept a good few feet away from the bonfire though!? x
Every Once In a While In The Middle of an Ordinary Life
. . . Love Gives Us a Fairytale. . .
CommentAuthorMrsWearn2be
Haha lula..thats what I do...because he didnt actually propose to me..when I've not got the ring on..I try to force him to get down on 1 knee..but he still wont..and I cant understand why...hes in an even better position..he knows I wont say no! Hes not normally shy but I do think it makes him blush a little at the thought of me trying to get him to do it!!
And Millz...yes I agree with ur point, i was just a little annoyed about the price taggy attitude this girl had..but will deffo be getting h2b to tell this girl exactly that! xxx
CommentAuthorLulu1388
You'll get him on that knee one day don't you worry!!! Can always include it in your wedding vows :p that way he will have to and in front of everyone!! x
Every Once In a While In The Middle of an Ordinary Life
. . . Love Gives Us a Fairytale. . .
CommentAuthorMrsWearn2be
Haha good point...might have to factor that 1 in! n'awwww im not that evil xx
CommentAuthorLulu1388
arent you!?! haha Nah it'll be lovely don't you worry!! and just ignore the woman at work!! not worth the time or effort tbh!! x
Every Once In a While In The Middle of an Ordinary Life
. . . Love Gives Us a Fairytale. . .
CommentAuthorx~Hails~x
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Ladies can I please remind you all about the rules GETTING ON WITH FELLOW UKBRIDE MEMBERS
If you choose to use the forum you will come across opinions that you may not agree with or people who you may not get on with, but to use the UKbride Forum you MUST get on with everyone on the site. Rude, nasty, offensive, homophobic, sexism, ageism, racism, discrimination against ANYONE and general impolite posts will be deleted and members breaking this rule will be blocked from using the site!
Unfortantly threads like this always bring out some strong opinions which will differ from others but as I see it we are all marry the man/women we love and like someone said above who cares what you spend as long as you can afford it be that 1k or 100k This thread is now sunk
UKBride moderator both on here and on facebook
For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart
It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.
