My h2b still doesn't have a best man bless him, he won't have his brother as he isn't responsible enough and won't take the role seriously Last night I told him to get a move on with picking as we need to sort out suits soon He said he wanted his friend Hayden Hayden is a twin and tom gets on with both of them equally Me and Hayden on the other hand don't like each other at all lol so this will be really awkward if he has Hayden Hayden's twin Ricki on the other hand is lovely and I get on with him But tom wants Hayden because he's 'funnier' I really don't want it to be awkward on my wedding day I Also don't want Hayden's girlfriend at my wedding we had a massive fall out years ago n haven't spoke since I feel a right cow as it's Toms day too and his best man but this is really annoying me why can't he just have ricki!! Lol anyone got any advice? Xx
CommentAuthorDonnaH39
Hmmm - I don't know really, but from what you've said if he honestly gets on the same with them, I don't think Hayden being 'funnier' is a reason knowing that you two don't get one.
I would say though that even if he does have Ricki, chances are Hayden would still have a biggish part of the wedding and might still expect his girlfriend to be there (it's a close friends wedding and his brother is best man)
Sorry, I know this post isn't really that helpful. All I can suggest is that you both sit down and work it out together, talk about your worries and both of you talk about what will happen in either situation and see if you can come to a decision together
CommentAuthorkatielea100
The other brother won't attend the ceremony (very intimate) just the evening reception so having Hayden and his girlfriend there doesn't bother me I probs won't even notice Just annoying how he wants Hayden because he's funnier it's not a proper reason lol *banging head against wall* lol xx
CommentAuthorSusie
I have just over 4 months to go and Dave still hasnt picked a best man, so I understand the frustration. It is a bit of a weird reason he has chosen for "Hayden being funnier" so lets have him, almost sounds like he hasnt really put much thought in it. Have you spoken to him about the disagreements and awkwardness that is there?
CommentAuthorElinor Claire
I'd be worried about Ricky's feelings, if his twin brother is chosen over him. If Hayden is funnier maybe he would do the better speech, but potentially he could ask them both and share the role.
30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.
I've told him to have them both I'd rather that than him just have Hayden or just have ricki I think he's mainly thinking about his stag doo tbh (we arnt really having speeches, just me n tom saying a special thanks to a few people) lol I've just texted him explaining what a best man is really for n he said he's going to think about it, it would just be easier if he had his mate from work I know him get on with him and he's funny lol I don't know I didn't have this problem picking bridesmaids xx
CommentAuthorStephanieK77
To be fair im not a massive fan of my H2Bs best man eitther. When we first got together he used to say that I was after H2B's money (what money?!) and that I was probably cheating on him and stuff. We are civilised and get on okay because we hae to but I make very little effort. I put up with him because he is H2B's best friend and I know that he was just jealous when he said that stuff about me. Ill never forgive him for it and never really like him but i will make an effort to be nice because I love my hubby and its important to him. Unless you have to sit next to him or make so e special effort then i would just accept his decision and move on.
CommentAuthorkatielea100
What Hayden's done is worse than just slag me off lol we used to get on but I refuse for it to just be Hayden there I won't/don't feel at all comfortable and if oh told me I couldn't have bridesmaids if he couldn't have Hayden I would just drop ally bridesmaids it's that bad! Update anyway oh said he doesn't want one anymore so never mind lol x
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
Mr lala didn't have a best man .. And as much as I wanted him to it was his choice .... It really didn't make a blind bit of difference to the day
My fiance doesn't have a best man. He asked his friend, but he is very shy, and hated being a best man at a previous wedding. So basically it looks like we'll have no best man. I think our speech will be quick, as there will be no father of the bride speech or best man one either. Just my fiance doing his groom speech
CommentAuthorTheFutureMrsK
My H2B is having his brother and this has been the case without question even before we got engaged. Has your H2B tried talking to his brother about how much it means to him? See if he's willing to take it seriously. Its your big day, if he does pick his friend surely you'll all be able to put aside your differences for one day. Someone being funny isn't the best reason to pick them as a best man though. Best man is supposed to be someone you are close to who knows you well. I'm not saying this isn't the case with his friend Hayden but sounds as though he could be naming names just because you hurried him to. I apologise if this isn't the case, it just seems like it.
“Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.”
-Ambrose Bierce
CommentAuthorElinor Claire
I've known a few people who haven't chosen their brother. My fiance was really surprised to be asked to be best man for the third time, because the groom had a younger brother who he was close to, but apparently Mark didn't feel his brother was responsible enough. Both my brothers chose good friends from uni. I don't think it was a case of not wanting the other brother, or not thinking they were responsible (both had the other brother as groomsman), but during university years they didn't meet up so often, especially once they had relationships, so they felt closer to their uni mates. I was concerned in both cases that the other brother would be upset but it doesn't seem to have bothered them.
30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.
CommentAuthorkatielea100
Tom doesn't want his brother, to be honest his brother is an idiot! He's threatened me before that he'd set my house on fire just because I told him to grow up and look after his child! Lol He's said he doesn't want a best man now which is fair enough and just going to leave it now he's not once mentioned about having a best man till I asked him so dong think he wanted one anyway x
CommentAuthorSusie
It wont make any difference nowadays anyway not to have a best man, so it sounds like that is the best option for you both!
CommentAuthorBeckyU98
my H2B is having his 20 year old brother. hes been pretty useless the whole way through. his stag do is in 3 weeks and didnt organise anything so me and H2B have organised it on sunday. all his brother really has to do is turn up on the day and say a speech so i wonder how that will turn out! but for H2B there was no question but to have his brother. maybe sit down and have a chat - think about what you would do if he didnt like your maid of honour? hope things work out well for you but you wont really notice on the day - just think of all the dont tell the bride shows where the bride hates the best man and then on the day they make up and become friends! you never know lol x