I've just started planning my big day (it will be in July 2012) and already there seems like a million things to think about. The one thing that is already starting to worry me is deciding who will give me away. My dad died in 2005 and I don't have any brothers or grandparents. An obvious choice would be one of my dad's 3 brothers, however choosing one might cause some upset amongst them. My mum has offered to do it, but somehow I just think it should be a man. Any advice from ladies who have found themselves in a similar position?
CommentAuthorMagsy
well. i'm having my mum! i don't talk to my dad and just felt she'd be right for the job(i have 4 brothers btw)
CommentAuthorDrunchPunk
My brother's walking me, but I don't see why you can't have your mum.
Seems silly to insist on a man just because he's a man! If you want your mum to do it, go for it.
CommentAuthorwelshcerys
Do you need someone to give you away? You could just walk down the aisle by yourself, especially if you dont want to upset anybody
CommentAuthorDrunchPunk
Yeah, that is a good point - my CBM is adamant that when she gets married she'll walk down on her own. She says she's giving herself away.
Thanks Magsy. Still not sure about having my mum do it...I guess I'm just being old fashioned!
CommentAuthorJilly Bean
I don't want to go on my own...I'm starting to think my mum might be a good idea. Ayone else help?
CommentAuthorcharlotteverity
my brother is walking me down. How about a close male friend or h2b's family if you are close to them. x
CommentAuthorKat
If my dad wasn't around I would be asking my best male friend who is amazing and has always been there for me
What about the future FIL if you are all close?
CommentAuthorPuddleduck87
I think it may mean a lot to your mum to give you away. If you don't want to do that then why don't you buy yourself a locket and put his photograph inside it. That was, hes with you while your walking and he is still part of the day x
CommentAuthorwelshcerys
That's a nice idea duck
CommentAuthorShellster90
My mum is walking me down the isle.. I don't speak to my dad and she is amazing!! I wouldn't want anyone else :D xx
CommentAuthorx~Hails~x
do you have any children? Perhaps have them do it?
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CommentAuthorSuzi
I was going to suggest the same as Hails... my son told me today he wanted to walk me down the aisle.. I had thought about him but just assumed my dad would do it, now I have to ask my dad if he minds stepping aside so that my son can do it lol..
Do not disturb... Already disturbed enough!
CommentAuthoreebeegeebee
I see no problem with having your mother do it but if you really feel uncomfortable about it not being a man then...was your dad perhaps closer to one of his brothers than to the rest?
CommentAuthorJilly Bean
Thanks everyone, very helpful advice. Begining to think that my mum would be a good choice. Don't have any close male friends or any children and because of which uncle I would ask it would cause problems. Families can be tough! Lol! I was planning on wearing the locket my parents gave me at my 18th birthday on my wedding day anyway and it has always had a picture of my dad in it, so thanks for reminding me about that Puddleduck.
CommentAuthorMrs (Dove) Pidgeon
The person who walks you down the aisle should be very close and special to you. In this case, I agree it sounds like you mum.
Now a extremely happy German housewife and now a Mother!!!!
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CommentAuthorVx Debz xV
My MoH is probably going to walk me down. My Father died in September and I don't speak to my brother or mother. My Dad spoke to my friend (MoH) when he was ill and told her she's my family now, and asked her to look out for me. Though in your case I think I'd ask my mum. She'd be honoured to do it for you, I'm sure
CommentAuthordeedee
You could have ur mum i think that would be a lovely thing to do, or how about a god father is you have on....altho i would go for my mum if i was you xx
CommentAuthorMrs Joyce
id choose you mum aswell
xx
CommentAuthorclaire1984
Id choose my mom - if I was in your position :-) x
Maisie Moo Moo
CommentAuthorJuicy Lucy
I don't really have a dad...not that I was a miraculous birth or anything! I'm just not in touch anymore and my stepdad hasn't ever had anything to do with me (thank god!) But it was obvious to me to have my best friend give me away, he's known me all my life and has been better than any dad that's been on the scene! I guess it just has to be someone important to you, who will keep you calm and cool on the big day and make a good speech!
CommentAuthorvintage lass
What about someone from your h2b's side...like a brother or his dad???? If you prefer someone from yours, what about a male friend or close cousin????? If this causes too much heartache etc Id walk up the aisle myself, I see no problem with this!!xxx
CommentAuthormrs pinkalice
do you have any godparents? or a friend you have been friends with your whole life? if not i think your mum is a lovely idea x
CommentAuthor~* Jen *~
I'd say your mum, or a close male friend if you really want a male. xxx
CommentAuthorMrs Alsbetty
yeah a male friend if you want a man, i'm having my mum and dad so do what you feel is right xxx
Enjoying being a wifey!!
Currently baking a small person at last, took a while :)
I have the same problem and ive decided to go it alone. No-one could stand in my dads place in my eyes :( x
CommentAuthorJilly Bean
Thanks everyone, you've been very helpful. Still not 100% sure but I'm thinking about having my mum do it xx
CommentAuthorNicci
That would be lovely. My mam passed also but i think she would have been the only other person id have if i could x
CommentAuthorshellay
my dad died twenty years ago, so i have decided to go for a male friend that i have known for over ten years, i did think about having one of my sons to do it but knew that my other son would be a bit put out if i chose one and could not really have had both so they are going to be ushers instead x
I have know my soulmate for 27 years and on the 6th August
I married him and became Mrs Garnham.
It was most definitely the happiest day of my life.
I love married life !!!!
CommentAuthorCeCe
...well, I have asked my Dad (we are not terribly close) so in theory he is the 'giver away-er' BUT I have a 'back up' plan incase my Father does what he has been known too..I am asking a close Male pal to give me away...he and his partner have been great friends for many years.
If you are settled it has to be a bloke..you have any male friends..how about putting your Uncles names in a hat and pulling one out..can't get fairer than that?
CommentAuthorcatch
l think your mum would be tickled pink, l know what you say you should poss choose a man!!! but thats just conforming with tradition, but if you feel really that strong it should be a man why dont you ask one uncle to walk you and ask the other too uncles to usher and walk your bm down the aisle xx
CommentAuthorJilly Bean
Ooh, good thinking v43! I hadn't come up with that idea!
CommentAuthorstranger23
My sister is giving me away as my dad is an idiot and i was going to get my mums boyfriend to do it as he has been in my life a long time but then he attacked my h2b so now isnt even aloud at the wedding! My mum also wont come if he isnt invited so was an easy choice for me :)
CommentAuthorL JO
I would have my mum if I was in your situation after all she was the one that brought you into the world and I think she would be very proud to walk you down the aisle...I think the days of a man giving you away have moved on hun....xxx
CommentAuthorPuddleduck87
Oh dear stranger! thats terrible! poor you xxx
CommentAuthorpouchi-loo
Of course you can have your mum,if not ask one of your uncles and make sure the other two have something as good as to do. put them in charge of something.
CommentAuthorJilly Bean
Stranger, that's terrible. Poor you. What a lot of extra stress!
CommentAuthorkitkat
Who says only 1 person can give you away? The ceremony only asks who gives this woman to this man so you can have more than one and they can say we do. Have all 3 uncles & your mum if thats what you want, it is your day and is about what makes you happy or have your groom wait at the start of the aisle and walk with you himself and when the minister asks who gives you away your congregation or your whole family can all answer we do!
CommentAuthorKimi
What about choosing the eldest and then you can use it as an excuse too.
The days are flying by, can't wait :)
CommentAuthorangeleyes
i have the same problem, my father passed away a few years ago too :( i know that H2B's father would want to but i actually just dont like him lol. mum offerred but again like you i think its a guys thing. i thought about my cousin for a while but i have got closer and closer to H2B's sister and recently been thinking about asking her partner but i'm just sooo confused. i think i will probably go back and forth until it comes to the day and i just ask someone there and then. i'm just trying not to think about it too much yet. good luck choosing tho hun, sorry i've not been very helpful. xxx
CommentAuthorKimi
Well since my mum passed away and she wont be able to sit at the top table I've asked my eldest sister to sit in her place, I've also explained to my middle sister the reason behind it and they are both happy with my decision.
The days are flying by, can't wait :)
CommentAuthorJilly Bean
angeleyes, thats exactly how I have felt really. I think now I will ask my mum but like you I have been thinking about a whole lot of different possibilities! xx
CommentAuthorSuz80
Jilly, i've asked future FIL to walk me down the aisle, for various reasons, 1) he doesnt have any daughters so would never have the honour of doing it, 2) theres also the meaning of him taking me to his son 3) he's been more of a father to me than my real father. He strated crying when i asked him..Bless his heart.
CommentAuthorMrsFlintstone
well im having both my sons walk me down my dad said he wouldnt do it again as he did it the last time and he got me back lol suzi why dont u have both of them walk you down then u wont hurt anyone xx
CommentAuthorEmsy5000
you could always walk down by yourself or with your bridesmaids
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CommentAuthorRoxii
I think that you should get your head around the idea of it being a woman, think about it properly and if you still feel adamant about it being a man, then ask the uncle and explain to the others why not them. Tell them that it's your day and that you feel closer to said uncle. They're grown men, they shouldn't really argue over it. But I think in your shoes, I would ask my mum, I'm not traditional really, so I wouldn't mind this, I'm really close to my mum, and she's the one I turn to when i'm sad, she's the one that's taught me everything I know. I couldn't deny her the opportunity if my dad wasn't still around. x
CommentAuthorhollyjt1985
I think i would walk down on my own, to a song that meant something to me and my dad so it felt like he was there as i wouldnt want anyone to take his place. xx
