Wedding Forum - What should I do?...

It was my birthday last Friday and my OH organised a birthday meal with all of my "close" family. We went to an all you can eat Chinese which had a live singer and band playing.
It started off as a great night, I could see my sister and my brothers girlfriend had faces liked they'd been slapped with a wet kipper but I just ignored it and tried to enjoy myself but further in to the night it started getting worse, they sat there not touching a bit of food and were moaning the food was disgusting, the band were too noisy, they weren't paying for the meal I had to pay bla bla bla.
My sister then went on and started being really personal and saying some really horrible things about me and my wedding. It got me so upset I told my parents I was leaving, my sister then said something I can't repeat on here as it was the worst language ever and I left the restaurant in tears.
The whole time my parent's sat there without saying a word to my sister, didn't tell her to stop or anything. They let her carry on..
I went home in a state, really upset and my birthday ruined and I haven't heard from any of them since, no apology nothing, not even a call just to see how I am. Then last night whilst I was in Asda with my OH I saw my mum, sister and brothers girlfriend at the tills, they saw me and totally blanked me. I was then at the tills bagging my shopping away, they walked behind me, looked at me and carried on going and laughing. Never said a word to me!
It's left me gutted, hurt, let down and confused. I feel like I've done something wrong, like I'm the bad one.
My sister's been a cow to me since she got pregnant and all I done was support her and put up with her crap, what she done was totally unfair.
Well now I'm thinking of cancelling my wedding, my bridesmaids are my sister and my brothers girlfriend. How can I still have them after the way they treated me friday and the way they are continuing to treat me?! And my own parent's are ignoring me and I don't know why!
I want to marry Steve and I will marry him, if anything I will cancel the wedding and we'll have a small do because right now I can't imagine my family being at my wedding.
I don't know if I'm overreacting but these people causing me this hurt are my bridal party, how can I get married with them at my side when they obviously don't give a crap about me

Ignore them hun... tell them if they won't support you and can't even be nice to you on your birthday then you won't have them at your wedding, especially not in a supporting role like bridesmaids!!!

How dare your sister do that to you is beyond me.... she sounds like she needs to take a reality check tbh same for your brother's gf... is there any reason why they would have been annoyed with you or generally annoyed as it sounds to be like the two of them were determined to have a bad night from the start!

I would honestly call a family meeting, take your OH along for support... if it were me, I'd ask them what the hell they were playing at... if they tried to blame me and I honestly hadn't done anything wrong or to offend them etc then I'd not only uninvite them from my wedding but tell them that when they are ready to apologise for ruining my birthday and also to act like grown ups (who blanks their own daughter/sister(In-Law)?!?"?") then I'll see them but until then I'd want my space. Then leave.

*huge hugs* Don't cancel... just do what you want and have people there who love you and will BE THERE FOR YOU.

Honey, confronting them NEEDS to be done... until you get it all out in the open, you won't be able to get it sorted out.

Sometimes things needs to get worse before they get better... considering they already ruined your birthday, and are making you feel bad, you owe it to yourself to find out why!!

i wouldnt cancel the wedding completely, is their anyway you could move the ceremony venue, and just not tell them?, if they turn up at the one your at and you are not their - they will assume its been cancled and not show up at the "food part" and then you can just tell those you want their to come.

I have told my venue that by no means my aunt alison is allowed into my wedding.I cant stop her coming to the church, but if she shows up at the reception venue - she will either need to eat upstairs with other people, or be made to leave, as she will not be allowed in the two rooms i have booked.

To add fuel to the fire.. I arranged with my wedding photographer to take pictures of my sisters baby and he offered to do them for free.
Well my sister has just put on facebook that the pic's are back and they are gorgeous. Someone asked who done them and my sister replied "my sister wedding photographer, they are gorgeous but pretty shit at the same time but what do you expect from someone Mel picked"

OMG you need to confront her even if its just that you put thanks a lot on her status!!! What a nasty girl poor Melody thats not fair at all big hugs

xx

id say she jealous xx

jealousy i believe. mel dont cancel your wedding. i would confront your parents or telephone them and ask why 1. they let your sister and brother behave like that and 2. ask why your own mother ignored you at the shops the way she did.

is your sister married? if not it sounds like shes bitter as you have someone who truly loves you and she maybe hasnt. if you cannot resolve it, uninvite them to the wedding, go ahead with it all and stuff them. yeah it may hurt you on the day not to have them there, but in the long term it will hurt them even more.


good luck chick and i hope you can resolve it

xx

i would be livid right about now - and they would be getting struck off the wedding list .No one deserves the right ot speak about you like that , esp a sister. I wouldnt cancel if at all possible but say they are not invited, and make sure your venue knows this too so they dont get let in

Bad case of jealousy from them by the looks of it. I wouldn't cancel because of them - its your day & you have a right to be selfish.

Hope it works out for you. T xx

WHAT A TOTAL B*tch

Firstly! Dont cancel your wedding because of them! They have ruined one day for you! Dont let them win and ruin another! They seem jealous and not to mention SELFISH!
Tell them all they are definatly NOT! BM's and at the moment your unsure if you even want them at the wedding! You will always find others who will be more than happy to be your BM's people that give a damn about you!

Hang in there! We all care about you here!! xx *hugs* xx

I cant believe this has happened Mel. I am so sorry!
I would personally start with your mum and ask her why SHE is acting like this and condoning your sisters behaviour.
As, for your sister....well she is a jealous and mean, especially to put something like that on FB where she knows you will see it. So childish and unnecessary!
Dont cancel your wedding because of them ..they do not deserve that much power to ba able to do that to you! Such a shame! HUGS! xxxx

I remember of the last few days reading some of this on chinwag and wondered what the outcome had been since as I would have thought you may have been calling them by now. So I agree with others that if they arent calling you to explain you need to call them and ask what is going on and the longer its left more often than not in life things tend to get worse. Ask for an explanation why they are behaviouring like this. Sounds from what you have told us over time that your sis is envious of you, as you are getting married and she isnt. She may have a baby but she doesnt have her own house or a wedding to look forward to and I think in her mind she wants the lot and so is taking how she feels out on you. As for your parents it may be that they dont know how to react and are trying to keep out of it.
I do hope that you manage to call them and try and sort things out, at least if you make the 1st move and try to get to the bottom of things it looks better on you in the long run as you have made the effort even when it isnt your fault this has happened.
As for cancelling your wedding, do not even consider it as that is handing your sister what she wants and that is to ruin things for you so that she is still the one in the limelight.
You are welcome to PM me anytime if you wish to chat anymore on this. I have had a few problems in the past and present with my family and may be able to help more in some way. (((Hugs))) for now to keep you going. xx

I have tried ringing the house to speak to my mum, no answer, so I called her mobile. She answered and she said she's a bit busy at the moment can I call her back later. I asked what shes doing and she said shes at the hight street. The hight street is a 2 minute walk from my house, they haven't turned up here and they haven't bothered to ask if I want to meet them
I give up

I can understand my sister doing this, she is just a complete cow. But I don't know why my mum is being like it! Shes normally the nicest person on this planet!

Thats really weird. You dont think they were planning a surprise for you or something and didnt want to be seen ? If your Mum is usually lovely then why would she go so against herself?

xx

either confront them all or uninvite them fill the space with some close and good friends of urs!!! maybe u get a better bridesmaid replacement too :S hard not very nice especially u dont expect something like this to happen on ur birthday and from close family if u'd know what u'd done wrong... u could maybe sort it but it seems u have done nothing wrong at all... i wouldnt call of the wedding though just fill the spaces with someone else if they dont apologize or change there behaviour towards u!!!

that sounds awful i would personally ignore them all let it lie for a week and if they haven't contacted you cut them out you dont need your family acting that way as for your sister sounds like she needs a slap to even slate the pictures that she didnt have to pay for families drive me mad, there's just no need for it.
dont cancel your wedding just have the people who make you happy there best of luck x

this is so sad, and no have no idea what you have done to even upset them, its very strange. can you not go round to your mums and see here face to face?

its true wot they. . .u can choose ur friends but not ur family!! really utterly gobsmacked by this thread i cant poss imagine wot teh bleep is goin on with them but u rise above it chick and dont cancel. if it wer me id try to downsize the wedding a bit and jus hav those that TRUELY love and care about me. Unless i had a grovelling apology, by no means would i have them included in my wedding at all!! Hope ur lovely H2B is supporting u through all this chick xxx

personnaly i would go have it out with ur mum see whats been said to her as it sounds like someone has a massive mixing bowl but dont cancel ur wedding its ur day and if they cannt be nice then they need to not come to ur wedding x

My sister's obviously been stirring thing's up but I don't know why. I'm sick of it. I'm not going round there, I'm not going to ring them. I'm too upset at the moment, I'd rather just leave it and see what happens.

No I won't cancel but Steve and I are definitely going to have a talk tonight and decide whether we down size or keep things how they are and just not invite my sister and brothers girlfriend.

i certainly wouldnt incite them if they treated me lik ethat i think its terrible hun who do thye think they are i would defo confront ur mum xx

I just keep telling myself my mum just wants to stay out of it. My sister lives with her, with the baby and I suppose she just feels she cant tell my sister off because she has to live with her. Oh I dunno :-(