We have had H2B family complain about pretty much every aspect of our wedding.
Most of them haven't even bothered to reply to say if they're coming or not and have told his mum if they have. The invites didn't come from her and she wasn't a contact to reply to.
We have had his lot TELL us who to invite and tell us they're not coming because of people we haven't.
Our invites said 'due to venue restrictions, we regret that the invitation is for persons named only' our polite way of saying no kids! Not that we should have to explain why but, as it's an evening reception we didn't want tired, bad tempered kids running around and loads of our guests leaving at 9pm to take the kids home.
We have people who are not coming because they can't bring their children, not because of babysitting issues but because THEY think that they should be able to bring their kids cos its a wedding reception. They were led to believe (by MIL) that if they put their foot down, we would change our minds and allow them to come. They did, we didn't, they're not coming!
Yesterday we had a message left on our wedding facebook page telling us that one guest wasn't bring his partner as per invite but their 12 year old son! This is the same facebook page that said clearly 'NO KIDS'. We have now been put in the position of contacting him to tell him that no, he's not bringing the kid. Other people have been told no kids (and aren't coming) and they will be understandably annoyed to find out afterwards that he was 'allowed' to take his.
MIL is no help as she thinks we should have kids there and keeps telling people she'll 'see what she can do' - chuff all is what you can do it's not your bl00dy wedding!!!!
A word of advice ladies - avoid all of this and elope. If we'd known that people would be this awkward we would have had a wedding / honeymoon combo and told people when we got back! Would have saved a fortune on the reception which is essentially a big free party for this bunch of ungrateful s0ds!
and breath!
Got married 11/11/11.
CommentAuthorx Disney Princess x
Maybe the parents feel like their kids should be there because they are family. Personally i would rather have kids there and guest leave early to take them home than have the guests not turn up at all. I understand that its your wedding and what you want but i don't agree with not letting kids go to a family wedding.
Sorry that's probably not much help but that's just my opinion.
CommentAuthorEcoFreak
This is why we're going to Iceland. None of our friends have kids yet but we have a lot of young cousins etc...
My parents have been to plenty of weddings without me, because the couple didn't want kids there - and I'm pretty sure my parents had a better time lol! Xx
CommentAuthorEmmyR1984
I'm sorry you're having this to put up with hun, we're definitely having kids at our wedding as people are having to travel so far. But this is your wedding and people should respect your decision whether they agree with it or not xx
Looking forward to marrying my soulmate on 20/07/2013
Not sure what to do for a honeymoon yet
CommentAuthorAtaraxia
What a nightmare!!
I can only think of maybe buying an extra large dog crate, you know the ones that big dogs travel in? One of those and put the MIL in there.
Maybe you could fit the more troublesome family members in there too!
Got married 27th June and blessed on July 5th 2012
Finally Mrs M :3
Tbh I have told everyone to their face we are not inviting kids that are not our god kids or niece and nephew to the wedding as we dont want what you said - grumpy brats creating havoc.
People are respecting it although I have had one cousin turn round and say his partner cam come in his place as he will have to look after his kids which has really annoyed me. I want my cousin there before his gf who tbh does my head in - i dont understand why she cant look after her own kids!?!?
If they dont like it balls to them. The people who actually matter will be there
9th June 2012 when two worlds collide
The Crazy Cat Lady and the Transformer Man!
CommentAuthoremmaaa
jdnems: Even if having to invite 15 kids you don't know or see means not inviting friends who you actually want to be there? I don't think there's anything wrong with saying "no kids", I suspect the parents who don't come because their kids aren't invited are the sort of parents who'd let their children cry and run around during the vows, or play up during the reception, because "they're kids". If someone says no kids, then that means no kids, the invitee should respect the couple's decision, instead of having a whinge fest! I'm not massively averse to kids at our wedding, there are kids I have an actual relationship with that I do want there. But having kids there means we'd have about 20 under 10s, most of whom I've never met, at a 100 person reception. There's no way I am being guilted into that.
CommentAuthorMrs Brakes
There are only 20 people at the wedding. This is the evening reception which starts at 7pm which is the time that most of these children should be going to bed not out to a party.
And as for them being family they are his mums, brothers, childrens, childrens, children - how many generations of people we never see are we expected to invite.
All of our friends are fine with not bringing their kids, who we see a lot more of and are closer to. Kiz is godfather to 3 of them! We would like to have some of these kids there but we said no kids and can't have some and not others.
We've already got 30 people invited that I've never met that we HAD to invite (per MIL) cos they're faaahhhhmmmmllllyyy (said in Peggy Mitchell voice) not that we know if they are actually coming or not as being so close (spot the sarcasm there) they've not even bothered to tell us!
If we let people bring kids there would be about 50 of them. That's 50 people that I've not met and won't see again until someone else gets married or dies!
I don't want to spend my wedding reception looking out for someone elses kids whilst their parents get drunk. Been to these receptions before where 'cos it's family, the parents assume that someone else'll keep an eye on them.
If you want kids at your wedding- lovely. We don't - our day, our way!
Got married 11/11/11.
CommentAuthorEcoFreak
You tell her! "Get ouutta my wedding!" Xx
CommentAuthorx Disney Princess x
Like i said, i understand its your wedding and its what you want. I was just giving my opinion, that's what this forum is all about isn't it??? I'm sure there's people out there with kids and know what it feels like that will agree with me.
CommentAuthorMrs Brakes
That wasn't aimed at you jdnems. It is a forum for people to put across their views. There are plenty of people who feel like you do. As I said, if that's what you want - great. I'm sure it'll be lovely but we agreed that wasn't for us.
It's a shame that the people we've invited can't respect our wishes and have to force theirs onto us on what is supposed to be our day. If they can't do something that someone else wants on our wedding day then we'd rather not have them at the wedding.
Got married 11/11/11.
CommentAuthorLolaMay0412
I feel your pain. Our issue is not with kids, but with partners. We are having a small wedding- 30 guests at most, and the people we feel are important for our celebration seem to think that their partners that we don't know that well or at all are worth money we don't have. We have had to cut extended family (aunts, uncles, cousins etc) out because we could not afford it so why would we invite the partners we barely know?!
Just hang on in there and stand your ground. They will get over themselves eventually, and if they don't then there is more money for your honeymoon!!
CommentAuthorsamwiseheart
im sorry your mother in law is such a pain in the butt hun, mine isnt MIL or kids! mine is my mums best friend! she decided she didnt like my colours or my dress or the BMs dresses so in the end i just did as i pleased and told her in no polite terms she had her wedding this is mine so to @@@@ off! lol. i think we have them in our weddings, as to the kids i can understand, im having children at mine as all our family and friends ares mums, but its your wedding and you should do as your please. all i can say is Smile and enjoy your day the people who matter will be there and the ones who arent dont matter! xx
CommentAuthorMrs Brakes
I have a horrible feeling that people are just going to turn up with their kids which will be a shame as it's an over 18's venue and they'll be turned away. We have special permission for the niece and nephew. Well, only got 5 days to put up with this and then it will be done one way or the other. and people wonder why I'm not excited...
Got married 11/11/11.
CommentAuthorsamwiseheart
could you send out an email or something along the lines of "we would like to clear up any confussion about the day, we'd like to explain that our venue is an over 18's venue and we would hate that to be embrassment by people being turned away We hope you understand and will still be able to celebrate our day with us"
sorry if thats no help xxx
CommentAuthorkerriface
Awww I feel for you. But like you said, it's your day, you'll be married and then it'll be over. It makes me angry how people lose track of the important thing (you getting married) and get caught up in how much free food they can get or who they want to see etc xx
CommentAuthorMadam Butterfly
edited
How annoying that people cannot respect how you want your wedding! Your day, your way! I couldn't be so rude as to tell you who is coming when they wern't invited!! grr. Breathe and squeeze..its what someone at work says (take a deep breath and sqeeze your cheeks hehe!) x
You To Me Are Everything
The Sweetest Song That I Could Sing
Oh Baby
16th June 2012 x
CommentAuthorKylee27
Ooh, definitely with you on the no kids thing. We're having family children only which when we actually did the guestlist realised that is only my cousin who's 3 and his 2 nieces who are 6 and 10 and will be taken home at around 9pm. :0)
If they get turned away at the reception venue MzEden then it's their own hard cheese. Can't say they weren't warned!
Can't wait to be married!
CommentAuthorFutureMrsPite
i didnt want to be one to say no kids at our wedding as we have 4 of our own and they r in the bridal party but because of the size of our venue and budget we have had to say no to a lot of my friends children and only have about 8 kids coming in total including ours, i used to think how can someone not invite kids especially if its a family do and evryone who would be doing the babysitting would be there aswell so it would be a bit impossible but then again iff it means something for them 2 be there then the feffort should be made on their part to find a babysitter, this i have now changed my mind on since planning my own wedding and seeing how much costs rise.
i agree with samwiseheart send an email saying about the venue and the fact there is no space etc and would still appreciate and want the ppl invited to be there and hopefully they will get something sorted, if not their loss, u just get on with having ur happy day and ignore what everyone else thinks, including peggy herself! lol
As the beatles say, Love Is All You Need x
CommentAuthoremmaaa
I didn't even realise it was an over 18 thing, not just a preference thing... that makes it even worse! Will your venue have door staff to prevent under 18's coming in, or is just left up to you to make sure there are no children there? If there are door staff, at least that gets you out of some of the arguing on the door, but how DARE people think they can do that to you on your wedding day! I'm furious for you! Definitely send out that email, and try and get it into your mum's head that even if you wanted kids there, you couldn't. The utter cheek.
In a side note, we were at a "no kids" wedding recently, where all the parents were delighted to have a night off to let their hair down without having to worry about them. Is there no way of selling this point to them? Sound like your lot are just being awkward for the hell of it to be honest, gits! Try not to let it ruin the run up to your big day!
CommentAuthormummy2Olivia_Lisa
i think considering people are gettingplenty of notice 2 arrange childcare y they cnt respect ur wishes...
hope u gte it sorted hun, sumtimes u gotta just be brutal...........
n lmao to the ''get outta my pub'' soooo funny!!! xxx
6 n a half weeks scan!!!!!! x x x
CommentAuthorRayanne
I would have had some children at my wedding...but only because a]I have one (and it will be 2 when the wedding arrives) and I have 3 kid brothers/sisters....so I would have had about 10 tops (including my best freinds children)....But it can get a bit silly really....
You've had every right to say no. I prefer weddings without children personally.....I cant handle whingy bratty kids at all, and hate the parents that just sit there and let their children run riot...ugh....
Fingers crossed people dont just turn up with them.
The most amazing man I could have ever hoped to meet!
I can't wait to become Mrs Kelsall
CommentAuthorRockabilly chick
I dont want kids at my wedding either - luckily we dont know many people with children. We will have my nephew and our friends 2 year old and thats it. I am not inviting a side of my family because they have hunners of kids and they are all wee buggers - there is no discipline in that family at all and the kids would just be running and causing havoc. Its such a shame that H2Bs family are ruining your day :-( Why dont they understand the day is for you and your H2B!!! Not for them! I agree with Ataraxia, get a cage for MIL - she sounds like she needs one.
Hahahaha! Such a great image Xx
cheeks hehe!) x
