Wedding Forum - What am I marrying into?! (Need a vent!)...

Sorry for the long rant ladies but need to get this one out!....

H2B family are driving me mad! I know its not them I'm marrying, but its now getting to the point where I'm questioning if I'm doing the right thing.

Me and H2B got engaged just under 3 years ago, and together decided were not going to please the familys (RH2B's parents are seperated) so said we'd pay for our own wedding doing it our own way. Nothing was said at the time and all sides were happy.

Now, just 2 months before the wedding, his dad wants to throw his own Indian party as ours isnt what he wants, his mum wants to do her own Indian party (she doesnt want to go to the one his dad wants to hold) and now we find out that they find it embarrasing that were not doing anything indian on 'our' day which has upset the older generation! They now want us to serve indian food alongside a hog roast and play indian music in the evening which is not what I or H2B wants.

What makes matters worse, H2B was told last night that as he's the first grandson to get married on his side, they can't afford the embarrasment and need to do things there way.

H2B's sister is older and refuses to come to the wedding and has a Child and there is no dad on the scene but the family have told everyone she is divorced to stop this 'embarrasment' to older family members.

And to top that off, even though the sister refuses to come to the wedding (which includes her 8 year old son on the refusal) MIL has told us she will bring him and look after him for the day, which defeats the object of her coming to be the mother of the groom as this child is nothing but trouble. Not only that but said he won't be any bother as he can sit on his DS and play games all day. Just what we need....a child who doesnt want to spend the day with us.

My parents have understood and stood back as I wanted to plan the wedding with H2B on our own which they were happy with. I'm an event planner.....its what I love doing!

I seem to hit one hurdle after another with H2B's family, from being acused of cheating on him, to facebook abuse from his sister and mum! Its a never ending cycle of crap with them...how on earth did someone fall so far from the apple tree!!

I have said I will attend all the indian party's and play along to what they want, but it doesnt change the fact that there not happy with what we are doing and like to make it very clear that we've embarrased them infront of their family.

Yep, that would drive me mental too. They have no right to enforce their tradition on you. Its you and your H2Bs wedding day and it should be the way you both want it. I really hate the whole "embarrassment to the family" thing. Everyone is an individual! Why do peoples families have to dictate the way you live your life. ANyways, I would say that you smile and enjoy the indian parties and ignore them. If they say you and H2B are an embarrassment because you didnt have your wedding day the way you and H2B want it then sod them. Let them get on with their moaning and stick to your guns.

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Rockabilly chick....absolutely agree.

I had a friend that went through similar. She was Indian, and backed out of an arranged marriage to marry a 'white boy'. Her father accused her of bringing shame upon the family. I took him 6 years to forgive her. Despite it all she went ahead and married the man she loved, with a traditional British wedding. It's your day, as long as h2b is happy then just go ahead and do it your way - stuff the rest of them, they either some around or they don't

Nevermind their embarassment its about you and h2b not them and their feelings, you cannot please everyone all the time so you must please yourselves first and foremost. Its about you two and no one else.

aww like the others have said stand your ground if they cant be pleased that your making an effort and going along with both the partys then its tough. dont worry about what your marrying into just remember who you are marrying. even though its frustrating after the wedding you probably wont see them much itll be easier xx

to everyone else it's just one day, to you two its a lifetime of happiness and memories, do what you both wish to do! You only do it once x