So I've just got engaged and it's time to start thinking about how much to spend, where to have the wedding, when to have the wedding and what sort of wedding to have. Aaaaaaaaaah!
I thought it'd be easy but there really is so much to think about isn't there.
I want to choose a venue so we know how much to save and how long we have to save for it but I don't want to seem to my fiancée like a bridezilla - rushing things after being engaged less than a week lol.
I'm hoping for a £10,000 budget - what sort of budget are others having?
I want to look at a venue soon, but I'm the sort of person that'll like it and want to book right away. I know it'll be better to shop around so to speak, and get other prices but I also want somewhere unique to us. I don't want to get married somewhere that I've been to before for someone else's wedding as I think other guests will compare and I'll be remembering the other wedding. What do others think about a venue where friends/relatives have had a wedding before you?
I'd like a 2016 wedding, but with baby No.4 on the way I don't know if that will be long enough to save. How far in advance did others book their wedding and how much did you save a month?
Finally, I have a very specific idea for what I want my day to be like. I don't want a sit down meal. Don't get me wrong I love the idea but I don't want to spend £40/£50 p/head for other people to eat. It´s my day after all and lets be honest - most people birch about it anyway. Of the last 4 weddings I've been to, only one had a meal I enjoyed. The rest were awful and I don't want my guests going away thinking that. If you have a set menu you can't please everyone and if you have a choice it's more expensive. It may be controversial but I'd rather spend that money on my honeymoon or a better evening buffet. What do others think about the meal and the cost etc?
I want a late wedding, say 5pm, followed by canapés and drinks and photos, then straight to the evening do and a hog roast/bbq. I'm hoping the money saved on the meal will cut our costs. The venue I like is about £1,000 for the room, ceremony and d.j, which I think is good - but the hog roast/bbq is £20pounds and we'll have over 200 guests!
Any comments on my plan appreciated. Also I want a photo booth, what do people think of these?

Congrats and welcome!!

My budget is £7k, we got engaged in September 2011, booked the venue and started planning in earnest in may 2012 and are getting married August 2013. We've saved around £500 a month between us, and I think we have all the money together. If you can, try and put some money away for household emergencies such as the cooker blowing up, car breakdowns etc so you don't need to dip into the wedding fund when the unexpected happens.

We are having a sit down meal, mostly because we are having an early wedding (11am!) so felt it was necessary, however we are having quite a small ceromony and wedding breakfast (42 guests) and an extra hundred at the night do. I know a lot of brides nowadays opt for the later ceromony and grander evening buffet, I ink a BBQ/hog roast sounds great! If you're having 200 people, the venue might knock something off with a bit of haggling.

£20 a head is quite good for a hog roast AND a BBQ, in my opinion - we were quoted that per head for a BBQ alone - feeding 200 for 2k is really good - tbh, we're spreading about the same on the wedding breakfast alone, but only for 42 people...

We haven't been to a wedding at our venue before...I don't know if it would stop me from choosing an otherwise perfect venue, however we did discount one because we've been to several weddings there in the past, and so have most of our guests.

We have a few brides one here getting married in2016 and beyond...I'd feel free to start looking now, get yourself down to some wedding fairs and meet the wedding coordinators etc...a lot of venues won't let you book more than eighteen months to two years in advance, however you want to book as early as you can because some venues will honour the prices quoted at the time of booking - and they can go up drastically in the space of three years.

Finally, you might want to check with the registrar what time they do ceremonies til in your district - legally I think they can now do them at anytime of day, but in our district they actually only do them til 3pm.

I think 10k is a really healthy budget, and tbh you could probably do it for a lot less - bearing in mind catering is the biggest cost usually, and there's lots of money saving tips on this forum!

Happy planning!

Xx

We started looking at venues about a year after we werevengaged, but we were waiting for me to finish my phd! We looked at 9 or so then had a fav, we went and saved the deposit which was 1500. We are having a may 2014 wedding so had just over a year to save. My advice is haggle, but be upfront. I say "I'm having a Sunday wedding, what discount will you offr", or if I get more than one service will you discount. My personal fav of.... I have a quote that beats yours, but I really like you, will you match? I have saved loads by doing this!

As the ladies have said most budgets are inflated by the little things, like chair covers and bm shoes lol!

Oh and congratulations!!!!!!

We booked our venue about a month after getting engaged and this was 20 months before our date. We couldn't actually get our first choice of time of year that we wanted even with booking this far in advance.

In terms of a photo booth, we are having a cheaper equivalent. We found a company that have a backdrop and props rather than a booth and props. For half the price of a photo booth (and more time too!!) we have got a package that includes;

Backdrop (of our choice from what the company have)
Props
2 members of staff
Set up/Take down
5 hours of time
DVD of all pictures (including the reprint licence)
Pictures put online for guests to download

Instead of a video booth, does anyone you know have a video camera?

I went to a wedding a couple of years ago and the Ushers and Best Man went round with the video camera asking people to say something that way? Could save you some Wonga?

Hi,

Congratulations !!

My budget is around £8,000 including my honeymoon. I fell in love with my venue and found out we could save thousands by getting married on a Sunday there, a Saturday wedding was £3000 for the hire of the venue, plus £45 per head for food and £13 for the basic drinks package, then £10 ph for the evening which would have cost us around £7000 alone, by having the wedding on a Sunday we have managed to get a package for £55 per head all in , costing us £3000ish. That way we have managed to get everything else we need with in budget including £2500 for our honey moon !!

We booked the venue 14months before our date and whilst it was mid refurbishment , hard to believe I only have 164 days to go now !!

Its easy to get carried away when meeting suppliers but I would set in your mind what things are important to you and try and stick to your budget as best possible. But don't let on what your budget it , there is always a deal to be done , so always worth asking for discount !!

Photobooth is on our 'see how the budget looks' list closer to the time - I think their great !!

Good luck with the planning :) xx

...Just ask your suppliers "OK, how much" and if the quote is too high, tell them its not the figure you had in mind, and you are on a strict budget, and go from there.

That sounds great - having people help out like that. We may get our cake made by the mother-in-law, and have a friend do the photos so that might cut down on cost a bit. I like the idea of getting married where your parents did, that's romantic. I'd have worn my mum's wedding dress if it was traditional but it's a 1920's sort of style and really not me.

That is what you call haggling! And I thought I was good!:-)

I think £10k is a pretty huge budget, esp. If you're marrying later in the day.
I'd say take longer to think about things - too many brides rush into decisions then regret them later.
Work out all you outgoings & incomings, factor in 'unexpected' things such as big dentist bills, car bills, boiler blowing up etc, then how much you can save after all that.
Set up direct debits so the money gets stashed away in another bank account on pay day (an ISA is good - better interest), so its not sat in your current account waiting to be accidentally spent.
Take time to think about what you need (registrar, venue etc) what you'd like (BMs, flowers etc) and nice extras if you an afford it but non essentials (nice car, pew end decorations) and set a budget for each then tot it up to work put how much you'll need.
At least you'll have time to make the most of sales (e.g. BM dresses after Xmas if you choose high street shop or department store, for example, if you want dark colours, summer sales for pale colours).
Keep track of what you spend - its easy to buy little bits here & there and end up spending a fortune on them especially when it's things you don't really need, but having said that, it can be good to spread the spending if its what you need and its a genuine bargain.
Good luck!

Hi there :-)

Our budget is around £20k excluding the rings and honeymoon; that's for 60 day guests and a further 40 evening guests. We haven't been overly extravagant, but a few things have bumped it up, inc my outfit (around £2500 with hair and make-up), photography (£2500), and catering (the biggest chunk of our budget at around £8-9k (which includes £2500 behind the bar for the evening). We could definitely have done it for less, and £10k is a decent budget, particularly if you're cutting out the wedding breakfast (which I think is fine BTW if your ceremony is later).

The venue was really important to us; I went on a website where you can search for venues by county, and looked at probably over 100. I then went to the websites of maybe 60 of those, and got quotes from maybe 40. We then viewed 14. Ours was the fourth we saw, and it was love at first sight, but I still went to our other appointments to make sure. We wanted something different to the 'typical' wedding venue, and also something that reflected us. We were also concerned about things like how the space flows, and also wanted somewhere with ample indoor areas for amazing photos, as we didn't want to be relying on the weather. From looking at venues, to booking, it was about 2 months; and I put in a LOT of hours lol.

As far booking and saving goes, my parents are very generously paying for almost everything, so this hasn't been a worry. If we'd been paying ourselves, then a) it would have been on a much smaller budget and b) we'd probably have saved for 12-18 months before even setting a date, so that we knew what a realistic figure was. I also think it's important to be realistic about what you can save: it's fine saying you'll save £300 a month, but if saving that means going without all luxuries, then it simply isn't going to be realistic. I'd draw up a spreadsheet of incoming and outgoing money each month, and see what's left, and of that, aim to save 40-50%, with the other 50-60% for luxuries/unforeseens.

HTH!

Oh boy! That's a whole other can of worms there hun, who pays for what in the wedding party!
I'm paying for shoes, dresses & alterations, jewellery (their thank you present)' hair, make up, headbands, boleros and handbags, but I think it's fair as I've not given them much say in the matter... But if they were to start demanding more expensive dresses for example, I'd say ok, but they can pay for them.
Have whomever you want in your wedding party hun! :-). Has h2b got a sister to ask to be BM perhaps?
Just beware of relatives trying to impose their children as flower girls/page boys.

Hey hun, congrats and welcome. I know how you feel about being mega excited and wanting to look an think of stuff, i recomend you take one of your girlfriends to a wedding fair an go look at some venues to get an idea of price etc, and start saving asoon as your able. I got engaged a year and a half ago an started to save although it was depleated due to moving house but have saved 25% of my £3000 i need and luckly my mum is giving me some moneys and im guessing my h2b's parents will give the same in turn and im planning on asking my guests to give us money towards their meal instead of gifts as we already live together. As for who pays for what it depends on your budget an family situation my bms an my partners bm an ushers will be paying for their own clothing although im hoping my mum will make my bms dresses. If i were you be careful about asking friend till nearer the time to be bms etc as i have asked people then changed my plans on how many bms i want an who have been true sn good friends to me.

Lauz - there's nothing wrong with a Sunday wedding - you're giving people plenty of notice to book one day off work. You could consider whether the venue you want treats Sundays of a bank holiday as a premium day (don't remind them of it though!) - my mums wedding venue did not, so got a discount of 40% compared to if it had been a Saturday, and we all had bank holiday Monday to recover.
One thing we really didn't want for our wedding was a typical 'hotel' sit down menu for the same reasons as you. We looked into having our reception in a restaurant (we could make a bespoke menu with the chef for our day) which we nearly went with, but the room would've been too packed due to numbers of guests. We kept looking around & have ended up renting half a pub (doesn't sound great, but its an old manor style house) where we can fix the cost of what we spend on food (around £15 per person max. for three courses, although I'm thinking cake would suffice for dessert), and guests have pub prices at the bar. So although the food is going to be nothing special, it will please the masses.

Re Sundays: personally I see nothing wrong with a Sunday wedding (I don't like weddings on weekdays though). Just be prepared for those guests who don't want to book the following day off work (OH and I would be unlikely to book the following day off unless it was immediate family or a very close friend, and even then we'd likely just take a half day) not to stay as late or drink as much, which could affect the atmosphere (this was the reason that a Saturday was the only day we ever considered).

As far as bridesmaid dresses go, my feelings are that if you want a specific look, you should pay; and that includes hair and make-up, shoes, and accessories, as well as the dresses. If you don't mind what they wear, I see no issue with them 'paying', as they can just wear things they already own, so aren't shelling out money. In our case, we're buying the dresses (around £850 in total), but having them wear their own jewellery and shoes, and do their own hair and make-up. They are welcome to book with my hair and make-up artists, but, we won't be paying as I don't want a uniform look, and we've spent a lot as it is (as well as the dresses, we're spending £170 on their 5 bouquets).

Nice garden yes, but you may need new flooring inside as people traipse in & out to the loo, taking bits of garden with them on their shoes. That's what put me off doing that - all the mess afterwards!

Just saw you have half an acre, so size won't be an issue; but the rest still applies.

I think there are pluses, but for me, an outdoor wedding was out of the question due to the English weather; and we're marrying in August lol.

Not to mention the massive clean up operation the next day! Xx

Ok, going against the grain here a little......

We do not have a budget!
The rings were by far the most expensive wedding related thing at £1033.96! However, h2b hates wearing jewelry, we went to numerous different counties, hundreds of ring shops, and in the end resorted to meeting with 2 companies that came to our home, we went with the most expensive company out of the 2 (only £100 difference but that came as a voucher from the company anyway) we did this because we found the cheaper company to be too pushy and the salesman had no clue that putting paladium with gold, would grind the gold away after a while, so we opted for the company that refused to sell us a paladium & gold ring and instead offered an alternative that wouldnt get ruined due to the two metals corroding eachother. H2b designed the rings himself - the rings were "his thing"

My dress was MY THING at £695 including the hoop. This was off the rack, it doesnt need any alterations and is what i always dreamed of!

Everything else we are doing as cheap as possible. I have made....
Day invites & OOS's, RSVP's, (have enough materials for evening invites too) - £20
Post box - £5
Flowers (my bouquet, 2 single stems, 4 button holes) - £10
BM's dresses (two) - £14.96
BM's Alice bands (two) - £5.38
my alice band - £4.50
veil made for me to my specifications - £28.25
venue is local masonic hall entire building all day - £160 inc 2 bar stewards
centre pieces approx (six- will be used as thankyou gifts) - £15
garter - £1.67!
cufflinks for h2b - £1 which match the rings he designed
favours - £6.95 (50 of them)
guest books (2 of them inc pen & holder) - £48
ties - £1.89 each
buffet - £358.50 for 30 people - the food will also be adapted to my sons allergies at no extra cost despite his ingredients costing alot more than the regular stuff

Basically, we have decided that we will have one extravagance each for our wedding and then get everything else as cheap as possible, with me making as much as possible. we will also be using an ipod rather than a dj/band etc. We agreed he will save £30 per month - which since feb when this was agreed he has saved a grand total of £0! I have been saving £60 per month, out of the savings i have spent on the things we already have, such as ties, guestbooks, materials for stationery, veil etc. the rings and dress have not been included in the savings as they were bought a few years ago.

I personally would love a garden party, i love entertaining guests, have a carpet cleaner, but not a garden big enough and couldnt trust my neighbours not to get birchy about it and cause problems, also my garden slopes so we couldnt eat at tables out there. we will be getting married on our anniversary, which is 25th march, this happens to be a wednesday in the middle of term! im intending for the kids to go to school in the morning whilst we set up the room etc, ten collect them in the afternoon for a ceremony around 3ish. i know im a cruel mother!

weddings can be done on as little budget as you like, my grandparents got married on £18 back in the day, that includes them sharing pie & mash afterwards! wish it was that cheap these days! other people have spent thousands on their weddings, which is better? well personally i think the more intimate, the better! the more personal touches such as DIYing everything you can the better. Why spend hundreds on something that could only cost £20 to make yourself and you get the satisfaction of it being unique, no one else will ever have the same thing!

In respect of the Sunday wedding , we sent out save the date cards in January so people had plenty of time to book the day off if they wanted too , so far everyone has accepted and no one has said anything about it , one thing I have struggled with is hair and make up artist working on a Sunday and some trying to charge a supplement because of the day !

I have paid for my bridesmaid dresses, from the bay £35.00 each from a UK seller perfect fit and got their shoes in the KG Sale £116 for 4 pairs instead of £120 a pair - one of my fav bargains so far :)

I think 10k is more than enough. You can always find ways to make things cheaper. Booking a day during the week is always an excellent idea - you have almost everyone available to you as most weddings are weekends and some of the guests will not be able to make it. Not sure about the photo booth idea. Everyone has a camera and can take their own snaps. I know someone who did a booth rather than wedding favors.

Well we have seen 2 venues now. Wasn't fussed by the first but loved the 2nd. Still gonna look at another 3 or 4 then make up our minds. H2b is rather picky so he said he will probably find faults with them all lol. As we aren't having a sit down meal we can't have a 'package' at the venue I like, so we don't get a weekday discount. Our price will stay the same what ever day we go for!

I had a budget of £5,000 but that's gone up by £2,000, purely because my dad insisted on paying for us to have a honeymoon and the fact that my mum agreed to pay for my dress.

We're getting married on the 2nd September, being a Monday, so it's cheaper to rent the venue. Because it's still the summer holidays my cousins can come because the schools are closed and none of my friends and family have to worry about college and University for another week or two. But that means when OH and I go on our honeymoon the kids will be at school, hehe! We chose our venue purely on value for money, I've rented a good sized room for the ceremony and a double room with a bar for the reception all for under £600! OK, the rooms and building don't look stunning, it's looks very 80's, but with some nip and tuck it'll look fine. The venue has a large pond with a fountain out the front which will be a fantastic picture opportunity. We booked it exactly a year before our wedding.

In terms of saving we have been particularly slow. When we got engaged in March 2012 we couldn't afford to save a few pounds because we recently moved into our new flat and I started a new job that month, two months later so did my OH. Since then my pay has increased and my OH has had a promotion so we could afford to save much more a month and pay for things up front without having to dabble into the savings.

My IL's are paying for the catering because they came with the venue and were a little expensive. Fortunately they specialise in fine dining but the food isn't too posh to scare people off but still posh enough for a wedding. With the large price tag they come with a bar, which is a big bonus!