So mum and I were discussing the wedding and I mentioned that we were hoping to book the bridal suite for our wedding night -- 1st night as husband and wife after all! My mum then said, well do you think Gill (She is my daughters childminder) would pick Millie up from the evening reception once Milie was getting tired -- I said 'yes I am sure she would be happy to do that.' To which my mum responded 'I hope so otherwise she will be sleeping in the bridal suit with you!' Now, please don't get me wrong, she is our daughter and if we have no-one to have her then of course she will stay with us BUT I had really hoped my mum would take her for the night if it came to it. My mum and Gill are literally the only people we have tha can have her. Hubby to be's parennts are pushing 70 and just can not cope with a 3 -- then 4 -- year old. Plus, Millie has never been alone with them and I really think she would become upset. I explained to my mum I was hoping she would help us out this way if necessary and she never really said she would or she wouldn't?? Just said she didn't think it fair that she should have to worry about looking after a child that evening/night being the mother of the bride an all. I understand this. I really do.

What would you guys do? I really wanted to spend the first night together alone as husband and wife and maybe for the following morning -- breakfast in bed and all -- we likely won't get a traditional honeymoon due to having children so this was to be our time at the start of our married lives. Again, if our daughter needs to be with us then that is just as it is I guess.

What are your thoughts on this, please x

Thank you x I do think my mum will have her (hoprfully) I just feel uncomfortable now as I know she would rather not. I have spoken to my childminder and she has said 'it should be ok' but of course she has her own family and the wedding is such a long time away that anything can come up so I guess she will let me know for certain closer to the time, which is fair enough.

I must admit im with OMM i think it just something parenst do isnt it (my IL2B have anyway thankfully)

I know some poeple with say you shouldnt assume but surely ur mum and dad remeber what it was like wanting that 1st night alone? x

That's a shame. My daughter is going to stay with my mum but at the same hotel so we can rescue her if she's really not coping. My mum jumped at the chance when I asked her and she's a baby who currently wakes every 3 hours and struggles to sleep without breastfeeding so will be a lot harder! As it's so long away, though, you might have other people by then that she's comfortable enough with like regular babysitters so hopefully it won't be an issue x

I'm actually shocked that your mum has said that and not offered to have her grand daughter herself. I could maybe understand the childminder picking her up in the evening when she gets tired but then maybe going back to your house and your mum staying there the night so she looks after her overnight.

Thankd girls -- so glad you didn't think I was being unreasonable. I didn't think I was but then again -- bridzalla moments!

We're having my son on our wedding night (he'll be nearly 4 when we get married) his babysitter is picking him up in the evening and taking him home but we're having him overnight but my mom has offered to stay with him for a few days so that we can get a few days away on our own

Your mother shouldn't be obliged to but you would have thought she would have wanted to? It's as if she feels that mob role is more important than that of bride.

I think it would be different if you were going to someone else's wedding but this is your own!!!!

my opinion is......that your mum should have offered to have her. It is your wedding day/night and if you are not entitled to 1 night off then god help us all. we told my partners mum that she would be having the kids on the wedding night and tbh i cant imagen her turnign round and saying id rather not. Hope you get it sorted x

No worries. I hope you can get something sorted out for the wedding night though. xx

Me and my fiancee have children - I hadn't even thought to ask if someone can have them - it is just something I have assumed my mum (or one of my bridesmaids) will happily do for me - another thing added to the list of things to sort out lol.
I hope you get something sorted out - the least you expect is that one night alone x

I'm just wondering why the other grandparents can't get to know the child and have her for days out etc before the wedding so that come the time the child could actually stay with them. Ok you say they are almost 70, but is there any health reasons as to why they couldn't look after their own grandchild? Just wondering.

I am going to have the same problem as you as our baby is due in March and we don't get married until August 2014. Mum will likely take her but I'm not sure I want my mum leaving my reception early :-(

Thanks ladies -- well holding out that my childminder will be able to help us out -- if not Ii will be asking my mum properly x

my parents assumed that ben would be spending that night with them, they are staying in the same hotel. And its not as though you have expected it, you are trying to make other arrangments, so shee could just say, if you cant i will have her.

I agree with mrs mann your mam sould take care of your lo. it is what my mam is doing

what about saying to your mum Millie could have a sleep in the honeymoon suite until she is ready to go home? or if there is time until the wedding you could introduce her to another family member slowly so they could help. sometimes people make you wonder who's day it is! especially as you are not going on a honeymoon