found these on a site there not quite jokes as such but there funny


Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance -- particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1 . Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but it is no longer available.

What can I do?

Signed Desperate

Dear Desperate

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Please enter the command "http: I Thought You Loved Me" and try to download Tears 6.2 and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.

If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources). Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Food 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,

Tech Support

•After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can''t face each other, but still they stay together.


A woman was telling her friend , "It was I who made my husband a millionaire."
"And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend.
The woman replied, " A multi-millionaire


Husband to wife: Why do you keep reading our marriage licence?
Wife to Husband: I'm looking for a loophole

excellent :D Thank you xx I'm chuckling at them already lol

Haha, these are fantastic. H2b and I are having a chuckle at them :D

bump

Good to know this thread was here when I needed it. Steve wants a joke or two in his speech!

fab i think the bridal nappies need a bump up to though