Hi ladies. I'm in a bit of a pickle as my bestest friends lives abroad and none of them can afford to be here for my wedding because they'll also have to spend a lot of money applying for a tourist visa. Anyway I haven't got any girls here who is worthy enough or close enough to me to be my bridesmaids, let alone to be my maid of honour and I'd really like to have atleast two girls in my bridal party to help me out on the day. I can ask my h2b's brother's girlfriends but not really close to them although we're friendly and h2b asked one of them to be my daughter's god mother. My ex sister in law is a nice girl I can ask her but she's hard work, lacking common sense and I feel if I ask her I'd end up looking after her instead of her looking after me. Do you think I should just go without or has any of you filled out the moh/bridesmaids position as well for the sake of having a bridal party and not cos you're truly close to them? I just don't want to look sad too for not having any bridesmaids at all.
Current Weight 130 lbs - Target Weight 110 lbs
Somewhere along the way I must've done something good...
to deserve the love of my life and our little angel :)
CommentAuthorbecky -mrs firth
dont u ahve any friends that live near?
Engaged 27th November 2010
Hen Do Newcastle 2nd June 2012
Marrying the man of my dreams 11th August 2012!
Honeymoon To Jamaica 14th October 2012
CommentAuthorCharlsj
I have this problem! (well kind of), my H2B will have 4 ushers, so I 'need' 4 bridesmaids. One of them is his little sister, and the others a friend i've known for years. So I was thinking of just filling the two spaces up with two friends that won't mean as much to me (but god knows which 2), or just tell my H2B to have less ushers! haha
You don't need to have any though! but if you do choose them make sure you want them, wouldn't it be horrible to look back and wonder why on earth you chose those people :(
xxxxx
CommentAuthorUnknown
you dont have to have them! how about a cousin or another family member.
charlsj- you dont need to have the same number of bm as ushers. i personally wouldnt have 2 extra just so it matched. i have got 1fg and 1 pageboy 2 bm 1 bestman 3 ushers so ours doesnt match at all xx
CommentAuthorXLittleMissMe!X
If you don't feel close enough to any of them then I would go without them rather than having someone there you don't get on with. As for numbers you don't need even amounts or x amount to go with the ushers etc. Just have your nearest and dearest people with you.
Got married Sat 28/05/2011
Renewing vows Sat 29/05/2021
We're planning WELL in advance!!
CommentAuthorsuzky123
My opinion is that you should only have them if it will mean something to you to have them in that role. You dont have to feel pressured into having bmaids since its the 'done thing' as more and more ppl are going without. It will cut down on yours costs too :)
cant wait to be Mrs Evans less than 3 weeks woooo
start weight 10st 1.5 lbs
weight now 8st 4.5 lbs
total loss to date: 24.5 lbs now need to maintain!
CommentAuthormrssidders2b
Sorry I forgot to say my only family here is my mum, two brothers, niece and ex sis in law. Everyone else lives in the philippines. Hmmm... I'm really torn. I think one of the girlfriends think she's going to be a bridesmaids atleast, she's shown so much interest in the wedding, have bought me bridal magazines, have offered to come with me to wedding fairs and keep telling me we'll have a wicked hen do. So I almost feel bad if I don't ask her to be a bridesmaid atleast. But at the same time we're not the best of friends so thinking if I should or shouldn't. It'll also be nice for her to help me I guess but just torn between tradition and feelings lol xx
Current Weight 130 lbs - Target Weight 110 lbs
Somewhere along the way I must've done something good...
to deserve the love of my life and our little angel :)
CommentAuthorlil miss sunshine
if she's showed you so much support i think she'll be and execllent BM as she already seems to be helpful but at the end of the day the choice is yours .......good luck in decideing
and now the next chapter
CommentAuthormrssidders2b
Even if she's not really a friend little miss? xx
Current Weight 130 lbs - Target Weight 110 lbs
Somewhere along the way I must've done something good...
to deserve the love of my life and our little angel :)
CommentAuthorMel D
Couldn't it help to bring you closer?
Got married Sat 28/05/2011
Renewing vows Sat 29/05/2021
We're planning WELL in advance!!
CommentAuthorKerrylou
Personally I wouldn't have a wedding party with people I wasn't close to just for the sake of having a wedding party. If my best friend couldn't have come back from the states I wouldn't have had a MOH. BUT This girlfriend has shown all the qualities we'd love in our WP, you may not be close now but if you don't give her a chance then you'll never get to know her or be close to her. I wouldn't worry just yet, you've got a few months before you need to make a firm decision xxx
It's right what they say
"The course of true love never runs smoothly"
But if it had been easy then we wouldn't love each other as
much as we do right now - 1 week to go :D
CommentAuthorluvlifejen (mrs berr
i wouldnt have anyone in the wedding party i wasnt close to either i'd rather go without xx
soon to be Mrs Berry 26.11.2011
CommentAuthorLiiga
I have pretty much the same situation. All my best friends live abroad, and my family. Although im not really bothered about bridesmaids... wont be having any. Will have a sort of friend (our tennant) as a witness.... if she's still here. :) Have got another almost friend (ex collegue) .... time will show I suppose... still got over a year to go. Might go dress shopping with them or something like that, but I dont really know them that good to take them as bridesmaids.
CommentAuthorXLittleMissMe!X
I have to admit I think you may be over thinking this too. I know you miss your friends that can't be there but you can make new friends. It sounds a little like you are distancing yourself from new people and it is a bad thing for new people in your life to be part of your life. If they really are up to the mark of being there for you then they are worth considering. Don't get me wrong if they are just doing it for the lime light or other reasons then don't use them but if they really are trying to help you out then it would be nice for you to show them the same gratitude back. No one can force you to choose anyone and you have to feel comfy with them but don't dismiss them just because you haven't known them for years. It could be the start of a very good long lasting friendship.
CommentAuthorKerrylou
Nicely put Jo :) xxx
It's right what they say
"The course of true love never runs smoothly"
But if it had been easy then we wouldn't love each other as
much as we do right now - 1 week to go :D
CommentAuthorJill
You might find it works in your favour - old friends are great too, but sometimes you find that it's the new ones showing most interest in what you want, rather than thinking they know what you want because you've been friends for years. As xjox said - you could become close then you'll have a great friend nearby who's interested in being there for you!
Good luck with whatever you go for xxx
29th September 2012
Cant wait to be Mrs D!
CommentAuthormrssidders2b
Good point kerry lou
Jo- that's the thing I really don't know her well enough to say she really wants to be good friends now or she just wants to be a bridesmaid cos let's face it, it's nice to be a part of the bridal party. We've known each other for three years, and in the past she hasn't really made much of an effort with me. She only started making an effort when the other girlfriend who she's close to broke up with h2b's brother. I'm probably over thinking it, you're right.. It's just I'm not sure if she's 100% genuine as she used to ignore me in the past.
Thank you jill, will ponder it some more and maybe ask h2b what he thinks too. :)
Current Weight 130 lbs - Target Weight 110 lbs
Somewhere along the way I must've done something good...
to deserve the love of my life and our little angel :)
CommentAuthorMrs Brakes
I'm not having a MOH or bridesmaids. I have bought a dress for K's niece who will be 7. If she wants to wear it, she'll be flowergirl. If she doesn't she won't be. Easy as! Whilst female attendants sound like a good idea and 'traditionally everyone' has them there isn't really space for them at our wedding. As a side note, if you look in the family / attendant stress section, female attendants do seem to be the cause of many problems rather than the 'help' that they should be with hassles about moods, pregnancy, dress / shoe issues, hen do's etc.
Got married 11/11/11.
CommentAuthormrssidders2b
Lol yeah mzeden hence it is so easy to just ask h2b's bro's gf to be bridesmaid but I'm thinking long and hard about it as we're not really good friend as it is, don't want to make it worse by the wedding stress as even if I'm not a bridezilla we may have different tastes so if she starts contradicting what I want, instead of having a new friend I might make a new enemy lol. That's it then, Ill settle with my daughter and niece as flowergirls
Current Weight 130 lbs - Target Weight 110 lbs
Somewhere along the way I must've done something good...
to deserve the love of my life and our little angel :)
I'll do it
