My mother has the unique ability to be able to make me feel like I am always in the worng. More than once she has said that I am going to be the bride from hell and will make everybody suffer in the run up to the wedding.
I have been told that I MUST listen to what my sister wants in a dress and if I insist in putting them in long dresses then why can she not wear Doc Martins under her dress....after all it's not like anyone will see them.
Then today I called to confirm the date to go try on wedding dresses to which I was informed my sister (who is not a bridesmaid) would love it and she had arranged that my dad would look after her wee girl. I had wanted it to be me, my mum and 2 bridesmaids and I was considering asking h2b mum to come along for one day of trying on dresses so that she felt involved in the wedding. When I told my mum this she said it's only one more person what's the problem? The truth is having 5 different people giving you their opinions is alot to take in and also then it would feel like everyone had seen my dress.
She then said she would tell my sister not to come and that I did not want her there but I know how my mum will make it sound and to just take my 2 bridesmaids she won't bother going either. So after spending time making me feel guilty it turns out she hadn't said to my sister to come after all but I then get a text from her to say that mum had told her about the shopping and it was fine. So if she didn't already know why did my mum feel the need to tell her she wasn't to come?
Now i just feel like I want to cancel my venue which is stunning and run away and get married and stuff everyone else.
CommentAuthorLauz&Stu
Don't do that hun - you need to concentrate on you & h2b - that's all that matters and that's what it's about. They say you can choose your friends but not your family - and weddings and the stress they cause are the perfect exanple of why that is. Do what you want - everyone else will fall into line and you WILL have a good day x
Mother to 4
Engaged to my soul mate
Loving life
Mrs Tomlinson to be
CommentAuthorCanyouspellthat?
You poor thing! It sounds like your mum is the nightmare up to the wedding, not you! Knowing my personality I'd probably turn round and say that you don't want her opinion unless you ask for it. I will never understand why anyone wants to impress their opinion on others, especially when it's your own daughter, and her wedding. I'd be tempted to un-invite her and go with your Bridesmaids. But that would only be my gut reaction. Stick to your guns and everytime she offers an unhelpful opinion count to ten before responding. Don't let her ruin it x
CommentAuthorValentinaK
Getting married causes all sorts of family politics to kick off.
My best mate at work got married 2 weeks ago in vegas... today I asked her what advice she'd give me... she said listen to what everyone wants and whinges about ... and then do what YOU want. Acknowledge what they want and then just be assertive and say No. if they ask why. Say it's because that's how you want it, and when they get married they can do it their way! Especially where siblings are involved. I personally have veto-ed stuff but compromised on others. In terms of wearing doc martens... your mother needs to grip your sister and shake some sense into her... it's not bloody appropriate and surely she can put up with wearing some nice normal suitable shoes for the wedding... it's basically a few hours of her life she has to do something for her sister.
If you want peace, you won't ever get it because if you agree to everyone's whims and whinges, you'll always end up offending/upsetting someone else and with no elements that youre happy with.
And we lived happily ever after!
CommentAuthorMrsThomson2B
Thanks girls, I do love my mum and we do get on quite well most of the timebut when she wants to start she can make me feel really crappy.
All I want is a nice day in the end and to spend the rest of my life with h2b. I think what makes it worse is that the wedding is 3 years away so it's not just gonna be a few months of this it is 3 years of it.
Will leave it a couple of days and see how things are and then decide if I am gonn atake any of them or just go myself xx
Personally I'd look out for little bargains to put away in a drawer or something but I'd leave all the big things to buy until a year or so before - 3 years of this will drive you nuts! People gain weight, lose it, have babies, move area, fall out - 3 years is a long time. There's nothing like a wedding to make you realise how unreasonable and demanding a family can be :( My general advice would be, compromise on things that aren't so important to you but don't budge on anything that is - or it will eat away at bothering you x
