So wifey to be was bawling her eyes out on Saturday night (albeit drunkenly) and says she’s having doubts about having a big wedding. It really is getting to her that her family don’t seem to be excited for us or wanting to get involved in the planning process.
The venue, a castle in Wales, is provisionally booked but as mentioned the other day , they are not budging on anything, nor will they fix the prices. Prices could go up anywhere between 5-10% in February next year. The other thing is that all music has to be switched off at midnight. Seems a bit early for things to finish and w2b is really disappointed about this.
I don’t necessarily want to have a massive wedding with loads of people but equally, I don’t want a registry office, small do. It is sort of a matter of money- we have the money for the wedding, but I guess it seems such a lot to spend on one day, feeding and watering other people.
Did anyone else go through this kind of doubt when planning? On one hand, the castle is our dream venue and we both really want it, but nothing else seems to be fitting into place. I’d like to stress though that we both want to get married still- no doubts about that.
What to do? Are we just having pre-wedding jitters?
CommentAuthorbridalmiss
I think that you've just lost your momentum, which is fine considering your wedding is over a year away and you haven't got a venue confirmed. If the venue are saying the price could fluctuate and you're not happy about the end time, I think the castle is not for you - not this one anyway. I think you need to have a sit down with W2B, decide the style of day you're after, agree a budget for it, and start your venue search again with fresh eyes - once you have a confirmed date and venue you get a sense of it's actually happening, and then the excitement builds from there - did for me anyway!
Have you thought about having a smaller do at a heritage site etc instead? Near Bristol we have Blaise Castle which would be fantastic to have a wedding at, not sure if you can though, then if you had the ceremony somewhere like that you could move to a reception venue for a party with your friends and family - my H2B didn't want a big wedding, and he too was all about how much it was going to cost - however, when we discussed it we agreed it wasn't about having the biggest wedding ever, it was about having all our closest family and friends with us to celebrate one of the biggest commitments we'd ever make to each other - my family is huge though and with his family and our friends, being strict on numbers and not inviting say children and partners for uni friends, we're running at 170 for the day with another 40 for the night! So even though numbers are big we look at it totally different now in that it's going to be the most fun party ever! Hope that helps... :-)
CommentAuthormunchkinpie
How many other venues did you look at? Write a list of the things that make you feel the current one is your dream venue and a list of things that you arent happy with. When you have your lists prioritise them both to see which thing matter the most to you. In relation to the venue and them not being flexible, a tactic that can sometimes work with venues if you are having a large number of guests is just reminding them of how much revenue they will be likely to make over an above what you have as your package etc.
I found a venue but the there was a few small things I didnt like and when I sat down and really thought about it although it was little things ie bar was in a different building I felt that it wouldnt work for us no matter how much I loved the venue.
In terms of others getting excited I can sympathise with your w2b - I cried myself to "eventual" sleep last night for over an hour thanks to h2bs family! So very close to telling them they are uninvited since they have so little interest and never have had. Still not decided how Im going to deal with it because Im the type of person who bubbles then explodes and Im worried if I leave it ill be doing the exploding on my wedding day lol.
Working on a 3 dream plan for the next 5 years!
Dream 1 = My gorgeous Mr P proposed - 4/9/11 Sydney Harbour
Dream 2 = Getting Married Easter 2012 by Bonnie Loch Lomond
Dream 3 = Working on that dream life in Australia
CommentAuthorjocelinetex
i agree with both posts well said x
starting weight 20 stone 6 lbs
weight loss to date 6 stone
current weight 14 stone 6lbs
CommentAuthorLittle Kettle
Oh Grace, sorry to hear you're both in a bit of termoil at the moment. We personally didn't go through this as we both knew that we didn't want to get married here, mainly to avoid all the family stress and interference, before he'd even popped the question! Like the other ladies have said, maybe the venue isn't the right one for you? Have you considered somewhere like Eltham Palace? Or Leeds Castle (not in Leeds, actually in Kent)? x
h2b and I are constantly wishing we hadn't booked a big venue here and just eloped because there are so many details to factor in that it just becomes exhausting. I'm a bit like your w2b I have a few drinks and get wobbly lip syndrome because I just want to get it over and done with so that we can start married life together. He keeps reminding me that it's my dream to have a beautiful dress and shoes and we have to go through with it so we're sticking to the plan. Our venue is booked and the price is fixed, I think it's rotten that yours can't guarantee you a price.
I can't wait until 29/06/2013
The day I marry the man of my dreams!
CommentAuthorOWB
I went through the same thing last weekend. We went to view a large abbey that was very beautiful, dream wedding location etc. But it wasn't right for me. I also don't want the big affair with the world and his wife there. We compromised on still having the same amount of people, but cutting out the formalities. We're still getting married at a beautiful venue, still having the reception that we wanted, but suiting it more to our requirements. In the evening we're hiring space in bar and partying into the night with friends.
I with sit down with the w2b and make a full list of what you both want and don't want.
If only life could be one long tea break
CommentAuthorJanie
aw sorry to hear youre going through this. Our dilema is due to budget. Ideally I wanted dissington hall, a country house place with a marquee and ball room. But that was going to be 5k plus food plus all these hidden extras if we wanted dancing and live music etc etc. we also wante Ruth Lorenzo to sing, another 3-4k, a helicopter and pink tank another 6 k....
then we decided on the lighthouse, a very reasonable £275 plus registrar's fee's, but ending up at registry office
we're ending up with us and 25 guests, including the bridal party. we just feel we would rather have a smaller number people there who really want to be there, than loads of people who dont feel the same way we do about it being a proper wedding, and we do feel why should we feed and "water" people who dont see it as a proper wedding etc.
I really hope you can work through this and decide. it is the other people going who can make or ruin a special day too
Remember : To the world you may be just one person,
BUT to one person you may just be THE WORLD x x x
CommentAuthor
Well, I think part of the disappointment for W2B comes from the fact that we haven't looked at many other venues. This one really hit the nail on the head and despite the potential price rise, is STILL very reasonable in pricing.
@Munchkinpie, I think making a list will help.
I definitely need to firm this up ASAP though as my family are travelling from across the world and need to have certainty on the date. If the castle ends up being taken by someone else then we are well and truly back to square one.
Just checked out Leeds castle. Beautiful but WAAAAAAY out of budget. it's like £130 per person.
I need somewhere with accomodation (so we save on travel and having to transport guests around), relatively equidistant between London and Glasgow and less than £70 per head to beat our existing place. oh, and a late licence... ideas??
CommentAuthorKaya
I really wanted small and intimate but hubby wanted a big expensive wedding - we went with his choice, but I still wish we'd had a smaller more intimate and personal day x
Now Mrs Cobb!!!!!! :-D
CommentAuthorOWB
What about Crewe Hall. Great for the stations too, as Crewe has direct links to Glasgow and London.
If only life could be one long tea break
CommentAuthormunchkinpie
hmmm id need to check on budget but I would love love love Comlongon Castle near Gretna and that was my dream venue but alas it was out of budget for me and I knew my guests couldn't afford the rooms and I couldn't pay for them all.
Are you keen to keep the castle look?? If you would consider stately homes/mansion houses have a look at - Leez Priory in Essex, Blairquhan in Ayrshire or maybe Armathwaite Hall Country House Hotel and Spa in Lake District. There are hundreds and maybe it would be best to sit down together and really think about where you would like most to get married ie in Scotland or nearer London or set limits of within 1 hour to an airport etc
xx
Working on a 3 dream plan for the next 5 years!
Dream 1 = My gorgeous Mr P proposed - 4/9/11 Sydney Harbour
Dream 2 = Getting Married Easter 2012 by Bonnie Loch Lomond
Dream 3 = Working on that dream life in Australia
CommentAuthorbridalmiss
I've been to a wedding at Eynsham Hall Near Oxford, lovely building and the resident's bar is open till the last person goes to bed! Or Sudely Castle near Cheltenham looks nice but could be pricy?
CommentAuthorJEm1905
We went through the exact same thing, we go through it every few weeks. The stress of money then people coming n not coming etc. Everytime i end up tweeking the budget to please the missus :D
Got together - 19th May 2009
Our Civil Partnership - 19th May 2012
Waiting to re-Marry my Princess Legally
CommentAuthor
I knew I'd have problems marrying a woman.... *sigh* :-p
CommentAuthorOWB
I don't know Grace, my partner is a bigger girl than I am at times! He's been more demanding than me about the wedding. I hope you get it sorted with her.
If only life could be one long tea break
CommentAuthor
Just called up Comlongon Castle and despite the fact they have only 3 bookings so far in 2013, the 26th of May is taken! We want that weekend because it's a bank holiday weekend. Otherwise, it looks lovely. However, they don't allow you to bring your own wine and there's an extra charge if you use external entertainment. meh.
Going to speak with Pollok house in Glasgow later on. Here's hoping they allow corkage, have a late licence, are not extortionate and the date is available...!
CommentAuthorAnastasia
edited
Auchen Castle? Not sure on prices but it's the same package as Comlongon Castle on the Gretna W.Bureau x
Target Weight-loss: 42lb. Total-loss so far: 30lb :)
~ Marrying my Soulmate in Kenya...
as the Sunsets just the Two of Us & some Giraffes ~
i agree with both posts well said 
x
