so rant needed! my future MIL is being a complete arse and i don't know why even my OH has no idea, she lives 7 hrs away and to begin with when we announced the engagement she was happy about it and was talking about what type of dress she would get etc but this was 10 months ago...now with the wedding 2 months away she is being so rude and its totally uncalled for...she hasn't bothered with us at all or asked how the planning is going (whereas his step mum and other family has been so helpful) so we sent out the invites 2 months ago and everyone was messaging and phoning saying they loved the invites and the menu choices looked gorgeous well.....she txt my OH saying 'phone me' he did and the first thing she said was 'i got the invite this morning and i won't be having a starter because i don't like anything on the list' i couldn't believe how bloody rude this was....then she said she couldn't afford to stay at the venue so my OH has booked her a room as a surprise thats costing us £159 do you think we even got a thank you all she said was like 'oh right ok, i will stay at the venue then' literally no thank you! she then txts my OH 2 weeks ago saying 'i cant afford to stay at the travel lodge the night before so you will have to sub that for me' which he has now booked and once again no thank you! so i had not actually spoken to her myself for a few months and anything wedding related on my book face she has just ignored but always commenting on other people things etc so i sent her a txt asking how she was and it had been ages since we spoke and i was just checking in....she replied with this 'I'm good thanks' so i replied.....'that good then, just finishing all the bits for the wedding not long now. are you excited?' and its been nearly 9 days and she hasn't replied to me......weve never fallen out or had any arguments she's just being so rude and the menu thing has really annoyed me its so rude of her! my OH has said he wants to ask her why she's being like this but i think it will escalate into a massive argument and with the wedding so close its really not worth it. its just upset me with being the mother of the groom she hasn't offered to help with anything and i don't mean money wise even asking if i need help setting anything up the day before etc we even said we would take her out for lunch the day before the wedding so we can see her she said 'she won't be arriving till later in the day so no thanks' like seriously she has the whole day off just set off earlier then!! would any of you say anything?? xx
Met my dream man on Halloween 2012
Proposed to me in Spain 22nd July 2014
Getting married 12 september 2015
Marrying my forever best friend :-)
CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
I think he does need to ask why, she's being down right rude. How dare she.
Our wedding day - 6 October 2012
CommentAuthorPaigeEmily
you need to confront her otherwise it will carry on into the big day!! I'm in the same situation and i think mil need to be put in their place. They had their day and this one will be yours. Don't let her get you down!!! I'm here for you
Mr and Mrs Wilson to be
CommentAuthorEmmilou82
Ive just got soooo angry and annoyed reading that Irishbride2be...... Im outspoken and sometimes abrupt but i try so hard not to be rude!!!
Your FMIL has no right to be like that with you and I would personally comfront her myself. I would no longer make any effort with her...... You have clearly gone above and beyond to help and make things as easy as possible for her and she is being like that!!!
Why can people just not be happy for others..... Its your day, if she doesnt like it dont come!!!! just dont make the run up uneasy for you. Grrrrrrr..... (sorry, just got a little annoyed)
Marrying 'The One' on 30th July 2016
I am now Mrs Emma Stokoe xx
CommentAuthorIrishbride2be
do you think i should get my OH to phone her and see whats with all the attitude? his dad and step mum said they think she's going to bail and pull out at the last min and say she's not coming and that why she's being so distant and not wanting to commit to offer to help etc and a fair point my BM made was last year she was asking what colour my mum was wearing and the bridesmaids were wearing so she didn't buy the same colour (i didn't know what these were at the time) but she hasn't asked for months which means she cant be getting an outfit etc because she still doesn't know the colours to avoid and with the wedding so close surly she would be sorting this out by now (thats if she was planning on coming) my OH has said if she misses the wedding he will never speak to her again :-S drama! Thank you Paige thats really sweet, iv just seen your post and i see you are having trouble also with the MIL, just no need for it at all xx
Met my dream man on Halloween 2012
Proposed to me in Spain 22nd July 2014
Getting married 12 september 2015
Marrying my forever best friend :-)
I have no suggestions other than whats already been said. We have been planning our wedding for 20 months now and my mil has not once asked how the plans are going and we dont offer any information. Ihave no idea what she will be wearing on the wedding day and tbh I really dont care less, she is an obnoxious old hag and she hates me cause i stole her son away from her we have only been together for 9 and half years so not like shes not had time to come to terms with it. ANyway my point is i am now indifferent to her, she has her opinions but they dont matter to me i just nod politely when she says stuff otherwise id start arguing with her and it would get nasty. If you MIL is being awkward id say leave her to it ignore her and get on with things the best you can I put up with my in laws (MIL and SILS) for oh and ds sake otherwise id have nothing to do with them. they have no influence on our lives ad if mil turns up looking stupid on the wedding day then thats up to her she will just not be in many photos.
wow sorry that turned into a long one
After 7 years and 11 months he proposed to me 18.10.13
Our son is 5 years old and our world
Getting married 15.08.15.
Life hasnt been easy but we have each other :)
CommentAuthorPaigeEmily
irishbride2be i think FMIL or the monsters as mine is known need to get a grip. I can't understand why they can't see their sons happy and swallow their pride for one day. If there is something they don't like its tough its not their day. Ive had enough of mine and you need to tell her to grow up or not come. She's the one missing out at the end of the day.
Mr and Mrs Wilson to be
CommentAuthorFlossie
To be honest I don't think I would even say anything to her. If she can't be bothered to make the effort with you then don't make the effort with her... don't feel you even need to speak to her if she's not interested. She will soon realise what a lonely life it is!
Happily married
18th June 2016
xx
CommentAuthorIrishbride2be
yes its just so confusing that we've not fallen out or anything- i have no idea where this 'i don't give a damn' attitude has come from. i do feel like telling her to not bother coming but it is still his mum at the end of the day but its just frustrating how much this wedding is costing and she is getting a free ride like we are paying for her to be at our wedding and we've had no appreciation for this. xx
Met my dream man on Halloween 2012
Proposed to me in Spain 22nd July 2014
Getting married 12 september 2015
Marrying my forever best friend :-)
CommentAuthorPaigeEmily
haha i change my mind i like flossies' response!! might do that with my situation and then she hasn't got a leg to stand on hahaha
Mr and Mrs Wilson to be
CommentAuthorEmmilou82
Too right Flossie......
Marrying 'The One' on 30th July 2016
I am now Mrs Emma Stokoe xx
CommentAuthorIrishbride2be
good shout flossie xx
Met my dream man on Halloween 2012
Proposed to me in Spain 22nd July 2014
Getting married 12 september 2015
Marrying my forever best friend :-)
CommentAuthorFlossie
Relationships are a two way thing, if one person can't be bothered then there's only so much you can do. I wouldn't stress yourself out about it. You've made all the moves you can and now it's up to her x
Happily married
18th June 2016
xx
CommentAuthorKirstyR386
Sounds to me like she's having a paddy because she isn't the number one woman in his life anymore.
If she turns up on the day, smile, be polite and secretly laugh when she's the only one sat at the top table with nothing to eat for her starter. X
CommentAuthorEmmilou82
Lol Kirsty x
Marrying 'The One' on 30th July 2016
I am now Mrs Emma Stokoe xx
CommentAuthorDanielleS0709
First of all she had plenty of time to save for the stay!!! I'd prob want it discussed as it's going to be awkward on the day one word or another. I wouldn't bring it up though I'd ask your OH to
21st May 2016 xxx
CommentAuthorMrsC2bee
If my mil acted like that I'd be telling my oh to ring but when he does try n get him To stay calm as don't want to give her an excuse to not come least if she the one that goes off on one then its not on u. But she's well out of order! And u both deserve for her to give a sh** about your day but if she doesn't then ignore her as u have everyone else and each other and the happier u r the more it will annoy her if she's grumpy or not there x
CommentAuthorVelcro
she'd of been told to f*** off over the travel lodge tbh!! she already had a free night, so that shouldnt have been an issue!
id be having it out with her now to get it off my mind!! i did that with my own mother in law as she is a nasty piece as well, not spoken to her since the wedding, but it needed to happen or else it would have just carried on playing on my mind. and im much much happier for it!!!
As long as the travel lodge wasnt booked on a saver rate, you will get a full refund anyway, not sure about the other place...if i couldnt get a refund id gift it to a close friend or summat.
Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
*Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
CommentAuthorElinor Claire
I think I'd agree with Flossie and just leave it. It's probably not worth the hassle to have a confrontation this close to the wedding, it might make things worse. It might be an idea to talk with your H2B about worst case scenarios so that plans can be in place. If for example she does bail, is there another guest you can bump up at short notice so that the meal and room aren't wasted. What are the terms about cancellation for the room, can you get money back if she doesn't show. Could you appease her by providing an alternative starter, and is there anything else in the meal that she won't eat. Is there someone who can be given the job of trying to keep her happy so that she doesn't cause hassle for you. Then once the wedding is done you can keep your distance if necessary until she decides to be reasonable.
30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
see i would take a completely different tack ... ( it would make her look stupid ) id txt here with ..
( her name ) im really concerned that I seem to have done something to upset you, when we first got engaged you seemed over the moon and very excited at the prospect of the up coming wedding- but now we dont talk much you ,dont comment on anything i put on fb to do with the wedding, you didn't seem happy when h2b booked and paid for a room for you at the venue, so i can only presume that i have done something majorly wrong that has hurt and upset you hugely , please tell me what it is so that i can start to make amends , after all it wont be to long before we are family .
on receiving this she has two choices ....1) to tell you that yes you have done and what it is OR 2) to say no you haven't done anything that she is just being a Bi tch ...either way you come out of it smelling of roses as you are the one who has made the effort .