Wedding Forum - Very rude MIL! stressing me out now!...

so rant needed! my future MIL is being a complete arse and i don't know why even my OH has no idea, she lives 7 hrs away and to begin with when we announced the engagement she was happy about it and was talking about what type of dress she would get etc but this was 10 months ago...now with the wedding 2 months away she is being so rude and its totally uncalled for...she hasn't bothered with us at all or asked how the planning is going (whereas his step mum and other family has been so helpful) so we sent out the invites 2 months ago and everyone was messaging and phoning saying they loved the invites and the menu choices looked gorgeous well.....she txt my OH saying 'phone me' he did and the first thing she said was 'i got the invite this morning and i won't be having a starter because i don't like anything on the list' i couldn't believe how bloody rude this was....then she said she couldn't afford to stay at the venue so my OH has booked her a room as a surprise thats costing us £159 do you think we even got a thank you all she said was like 'oh right ok, i will stay at the venue then' literally no thank you! she then txts my OH 2 weeks ago saying 'i cant afford to stay at the travel lodge the night before so you will have to sub that for me' which he has now booked and once again no thank you!
so i had not actually spoken to her myself for a few months and anything wedding related on my book face she has just ignored but always commenting on other people things etc so i sent her a txt asking how she was and it had been ages since we spoke and i was just checking in....she replied with this 'I'm good thanks' so i replied.....'that good then, just finishing all the bits for the wedding not long now. are you excited?' and its been nearly 9 days and she hasn't replied to me......weve never fallen out or had any arguments she's just being so rude and the menu thing has really annoyed me its so rude of her!
my OH has said he wants to ask her why she's being like this but i think it will escalate into a massive argument and with the wedding so close its really not worth it. its just upset me with being the mother of the groom she hasn't offered to help with anything and i don't mean money wise even asking if i need help setting anything up the day before etc
we even said we would take her out for lunch the day before the wedding so we can see her she said 'she won't be arriving till later in the day so no thanks' like seriously she has the whole day off just set off earlier then!!
would any of you say anything??
xx

you need to confront her otherwise it will carry on into the big day!! I'm in the same situation and i think mil need to be put in their place. They had their day and this one will be yours. Don't let her get you down!!! I'm here for you

do you think i should get my OH to phone her and see whats with all the attitude? his dad and step mum said they think she's going to bail and pull out at the last min and say she's not coming and that why she's being so distant and not wanting to commit to offer to help etc and a fair point my BM made was last year she was asking what colour my mum was wearing and the bridesmaids were wearing so she didn't buy the same colour (i didn't know what these were at the time) but she hasn't asked for months which means she cant be getting an outfit etc because she still doesn't know the colours to avoid and with the wedding so close surly she would be sorting this out by now (thats if she was planning on coming) my OH has said if she misses the wedding he will never speak to her again :-S drama!
Thank you Paige thats really sweet, iv just seen your post and i see you are having trouble also with the MIL, just no need for it at all
xx

irishbride2be i think FMIL or the monsters as mine is known need to get a grip. I can't understand why they can't see their sons happy and swallow their pride for one day. If there is something they don't like its tough its not their day. Ive had enough of mine and you need to tell her to grow up or not come. She's the one missing out at the end of the day.

yes its just so confusing that we've not fallen out or anything- i have no idea where this 'i don't give a damn' attitude has come from. i do feel like telling her to not bother coming but it is still his mum at the end of the day but its just frustrating how much this wedding is costing and she is getting a free ride like we are paying for her to be at our wedding and we've had no appreciation for this.
xx

Too right Flossie......

Relationships are a two way thing, if one person can't be bothered then there's only so much you can do. I wouldn't stress yourself out about it. You've made all the moves you can and now it's up to her x

Lol Kirsty x

If my mil acted like that I'd be telling my oh to ring but when he does try n get him To stay calm as don't want to give her an excuse to not come least if she the one that goes off on one then its not on u. But she's well out of order! And u both deserve for her to give a sh** about your day but if she doesn't then ignore her as u have everyone else and each other and the happier u r the more it will annoy her if she's grumpy or not there x

I think I'd agree with Flossie and just leave it. It's probably not worth the hassle to have a confrontation this close to the wedding, it might make things worse. It might be an idea to talk with your H2B about worst case scenarios so that plans can be in place. If for example she does bail, is there another guest you can bump up at short notice so that the meal and room aren't wasted. What are the terms about cancellation for the room, can you get money back if she doesn't show. Could you appease her by providing an alternative starter, and is there anything else in the meal that she won't eat. Is there someone who can be given the job of trying to keep her happy so that she doesn't cause hassle for you. Then once the wedding is done you can keep your distance if necessary until she decides to be reasonable.