FREE Wedding Table Planner

+ FREE Wedding Budget Planner and more wedding planning tools

Join now free to use

Wedding Forum - Very rude MIL! stressing me out now!...

Not signed in (Sign In)

UKbride Supermarket


* Discount available to Power Users only. Terms and conditions apply. more

  1.  
    • Irishbride2be
      CommentAuthorIrishbride2be
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jul 2nd 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    so rant needed! my future MIL is being a complete arse and i don't know why even my OH has no idea, she lives 7 hrs away and to begin with when we announced the engagement she was happy about it and was talking about what type of dress she would get etc but this was 10 months ago...now with the wedding 2 months away she is being so rude and its totally uncalled for...she hasn't bothered with us at all or asked how the planning is going (whereas his step mum and other family has been so helpful) so we sent out the invites 2 months ago and everyone was messaging and phoning saying they loved the invites and the menu choices looked gorgeous well.....she txt my OH saying 'phone me' he did and the first thing she said was 'i got the invite this morning and i won't be having a starter because i don't like anything on the list' i couldn't believe how bloody rude this was....then she said she couldn't afford to stay at the venue so my OH has booked her a room as a surprise thats costing us £159 do you think we even got a thank you all she said was like 'oh right ok, i will stay at the venue then' literally no thank you! she then txts my OH 2 weeks ago saying 'i cant afford to stay at the travel lodge the night before so you will have to sub that for me' which he has now booked and once again no thank you!
    so i had not actually spoken to her myself for a few months and anything wedding related on my book face she has just ignored but always commenting on other people things etc so i sent her a txt asking how she was and it had been ages since we spoke and i was just checking in....she replied with this 'I'm good thanks' so i replied.....'that good then, just finishing all the bits for the wedding not long now. are you excited?' and its been nearly 9 days and she hasn't replied to me......weve never fallen out or had any arguments she's just being so rude and the menu thing has really annoyed me its so rude of her!
    my OH has said he wants to ask her why she's being like this but i think it will escalate into a massive argument and with the wedding so close its really not worth it. its just upset me with being the mother of the groom she hasn't offered to help with anything and i don't mean money wise even asking if i need help setting anything up the day before etc
    we even said we would take her out for lunch the day before the wedding so we can see her she said 'she won't be arriving till later in the day so no thanks' like seriously she has the whole day off just set off earlier then!!
    would any of you say anything??
    xx

    Met my dream man on Halloween 2012
    Proposed to me in Spain 22nd July 2014
    Getting married 12 september 2015
    Marrying my forever best friend :-)
  2.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Jul 2nd 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I think he does need to ask why, she's being down right rude. How dare she.

    Members signature icon
    Our wedding day - 6 October 2012


  3.  
    • PaigeEmily
      CommentAuthorPaigeEmily
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Jul 2nd 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    you need to confront her otherwise it will carry on into the big day!! I'm in the same situation and i think mil need to be put in their place. They had their day and this one will be yours. Don't let her get you down!!! I'm here for you

    Members signature icon
    Mr and Mrs Wilson to be


  4.  
    • Emmilou82
      CommentAuthorEmmilou82
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Jul 2nd 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Ive just got soooo angry and annoyed reading that Irishbride2be...... Im outspoken and sometimes abrupt but i try so hard not to be rude!!!

    Your FMIL has no right to be like that with you and I would personally comfront her myself. I would no longer make any effort with her...... You have clearly gone above and beyond to help and make things as easy as possible for her and she is being like that!!!

    Why can people just not be happy for others..... Its your day, if she doesnt like it dont come!!!! just dont make the run up uneasy for you. Grrrrrrr..... (sorry, just got a little annoyed)



    Members signature icon
    Marrying 'The One' on 30th July 2016
    I am now Mrs Emma Stokoe xx

  5.  
    • Irishbride2be
      CommentAuthorIrishbride2be
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jul 2nd 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    do you think i should get my OH to phone her and see whats with all the attitude? his dad and step mum said they think she's going to bail and pull out at the last min and say she's not coming and that why she's being so distant and not wanting to commit to offer to help etc and a fair point my BM made was last year she was asking what colour my mum was wearing and the bridesmaids were wearing so she didn't buy the same colour (i didn't know what these were at the time) but she hasn't asked for months which means she cant be getting an outfit etc because she still doesn't know the colours to avoid and with the wedding so close surly she would be sorting this out by now (thats if she was planning on coming) my OH has said if she misses the wedding he will never speak to her again :-S drama!
    Thank you Paige thats really sweet, iv just seen your post and i see you are having trouble also with the MIL, just no need for it at all
    xx

    Met my dream man on Halloween 2012
    Proposed to me in Spain 22nd July 2014
    Getting married 12 september 2015
    Marrying my forever best friend :-)
  6.  
    • ElizabethF49
      CommentAuthorElizabethF49
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jul 2nd 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I have no suggestions other than whats already been said. We have been planning our wedding for 20 months now and my mil has not once asked how the plans are going and we dont offer any information. Ihave no idea what she will be wearing on the wedding day and tbh I really dont care less, she is an obnoxious old hag and she hates me cause i stole her son away from her we have only been together for 9 and half years so not like shes not had time to come to terms with it. ANyway my point is i am now indifferent to her, she has her opinions but they dont matter to me i just nod politely when she says stuff otherwise id start arguing with her and it would get nasty. If you MIL is being awkward id say leave her to it ignore her and get on with things the best you can I put up with my in laws (MIL and SILS) for oh and ds sake otherwise id have nothing to do with them. they have no influence on our lives ad if mil turns up looking stupid on the wedding day then thats up to her she will just not be in many photos.

    wow sorry that turned into a long one

    Members signature icon
    After 7 years and 11 months he proposed to me 18.10.13
    Our son is 5 years old and our world
    Getting married 15.08.15.
    Life hasnt been easy but we have each other :)
  7.  
    • PaigeEmily
      CommentAuthorPaigeEmily
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Jul 2nd 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    irishbride2be i think FMIL or the monsters as mine is known need to get a grip. I can't understand why they can't see their sons happy and swallow their pride for one day. If there is something they don't like its tough its not their day. Ive had enough of mine and you need to tell her to grow up or not come. She's the one missing out at the end of the day.

    Members signature icon
    Mr and Mrs Wilson to be


  8.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Jul 2nd 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    To be honest I don't think I would even say anything to her. If she can't be bothered to make the effort with you then don't make the effort with her... don't feel you even need to speak to her if she's not interested. She will soon realise what a lonely life it is!

    Members signature icon
    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  9.  
    • Irishbride2be
      CommentAuthorIrishbride2be
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jul 2nd 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    yes its just so confusing that we've not fallen out or anything- i have no idea where this 'i don't give a damn' attitude has come from. i do feel like telling her to not bother coming but it is still his mum at the end of the day but its just frustrating how much this wedding is costing and she is getting a free ride like we are paying for her to be at our wedding and we've had no appreciation for this.
    xx

    Met my dream man on Halloween 2012
    Proposed to me in Spain 22nd July 2014
    Getting married 12 september 2015
    Marrying my forever best friend :-)
  10.  
    • PaigeEmily
      CommentAuthorPaigeEmily
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Jul 2nd 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    haha i change my mind i like flossies' response!! might do that with my situation and then she hasn't got a leg to stand on hahaha

    Members signature icon
    Mr and Mrs Wilson to be


  11.  
    • Emmilou82
      CommentAuthorEmmilou82
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Jul 2nd 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Too right Flossie......

    Members signature icon
    Marrying 'The One' on 30th July 2016
    I am now Mrs Emma Stokoe xx

  12.  
    • Irishbride2be
      CommentAuthorIrishbride2be
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jul 2nd 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    good shout flossie xx

    Met my dream man on Halloween 2012
    Proposed to me in Spain 22nd July 2014
    Getting married 12 september 2015
    Marrying my forever best friend :-)
  13.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Jul 2nd 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Relationships are a two way thing, if one person can't be bothered then there's only so much you can do. I wouldn't stress yourself out about it. You've made all the moves you can and now it's up to her x

    Members signature icon
    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  14.  
    • KirstyR386
      CommentAuthorKirstyR386
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Jul 2nd 2015
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Sounds to me like she's having a paddy because she isn't the number one woman in his life anymore.

    If she turns up on the day, smile, be polite and secretly laugh when she's the only one sat at the top table with nothing to eat for her starter. X
  15.  
    • Emmilou82
      CommentAuthorEmmilou82
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Jul 2nd 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Lol Kirsty x

    Members signature icon
    Marrying 'The One' on 30th July 2016
    I am now Mrs Emma Stokoe xx

  16.  
    • DanielleS0709
      CommentAuthorDanielleS0709
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Jul 2nd 2015
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    First of all she had plenty of time to save for the stay!!! I'd prob want it discussed as it's going to be awkward on the day one word or another. I wouldn't bring it up though I'd ask your OH to

    Members signature icon
    21st May 2016 xxx


  17.  
    • MrsC2bee
      CommentAuthorMrsC2bee
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Jul 2nd 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    If my mil acted like that I'd be telling my oh to ring but when he does try n get him To stay calm as don't want to give her an excuse to not come least if she the one that goes off on one then its not on u. But she's well out of order! And u both deserve for her to give a sh** about your day but if she doesn't then ignore her as u have everyone else and each other and the happier u r the more it will annoy her if she's grumpy or not there x
  18.  
    • Velcro
      CommentAuthorVelcro
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jul 3rd 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    she'd of been told to f*** off over the travel lodge tbh!! she already had a free night, so that shouldnt have been an issue!

    id be having it out with her now to get it off my mind!! i did that with my own mother in law as she is a nasty piece as well, not spoken to her since the wedding, but it needed to happen or else it would have just carried on playing on my mind. and im much much happier for it!!!

    As long as the travel lodge wasnt booked on a saver rate, you will get a full refund anyway, not sure about the other place...if i couldnt get a refund id gift it to a close friend or summat.

    Members signature icon

    Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
    *Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
  19.  
    • Elinor Claire
      CommentAuthorElinor Claire
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jul 4th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I think I'd agree with Flossie and just leave it. It's probably not worth the hassle to have a confrontation this close to the wedding, it might make things worse. It might be an idea to talk with your H2B about worst case scenarios so that plans can be in place. If for example she does bail, is there another guest you can bump up at short notice so that the meal and room aren't wasted. What are the terms about cancellation for the room, can you get money back if she doesn't show. Could you appease her by providing an alternative starter, and is there anything else in the meal that she won't eat. Is there someone who can be given the job of trying to keep her happy so that she doesn't cause hassle for you. Then once the wedding is done you can keep your distance if necessary until she decides to be reasonable.

    Members signature icon
    30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
    It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.

  20.  
    • lala "mod" bunni
      CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Jul 4th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    see i would take a completely different tack ... ( it would make her look stupid ) id txt here with ..

    ( her name ) im really concerned that I seem to have done something to upset you, when we first got engaged you seemed over the moon and very excited at the prospect of the up coming wedding- but now we dont talk much you ,dont comment on anything i put on fb to do with the wedding, you didn't seem happy when h2b booked and paid for a room for you at the venue, so i can only presume that i have done something majorly wrong that has hurt and upset you hugely , please tell me what it is so that i can start to make amends , after all it wont be to long before we are family .

    on receiving this she has two choices ....1) to tell you that yes you have done and what it is OR 2) to say no you haven't done anything that she is just being a Bi tch ...either way you come out of it smelling of roses as you are the one who has made the effort .

 
Enter Now