Basically got a difference of opinion between myself, my HTB and my parents. We're planning to get married in May next year, but we haven't yet chosen a venue. Me and my HTB have decided on a local village hall, which we think would be lovely for the event, but my parents think that we should have it in a hotel/restaurant that has a designated function room and host weddings regularly so that there's less stress or organisation. They feel like they should have some input because we've decided to get married in South Wales (where we now live), instead of Manchester where I'm from and they're travelling a long way to get to the wedding. My nanna is also quite disabled, and more or less confined to a wheelchair (although she can walk a few steps if needed), and they also feel we should be in a hotel so that she doesn't have to go too far to get to bed, and my grandad can get back downstairs to carry on joining in and she's not too far away.

I appreciate that they're only doing it to make sure we have the best day and nothing goes wrong, but I don't really know what to do now. My HTB knows that they'd prefer it if we went to a proper wedding venue, but I haven't told him yet that they'd prefer to have the input, because he's away this week, and I've only just found out myself.

I'd appreciate any tips/advice, or even any similar stories from people who've been in the same situation and how they solved it. It's really starting to stress me out now, because I know the longer we spend deciding on the venue, the less time we have to plan everything else!

Thanks to everyone in advance x

Personally, I think it's your day and you should do what YOU and your H2B wants. You only get married once and it's the one day it can be about the pair of you and no-one else. On the flip side, I can see why they want you to have it at a hotel etc however like I say, it's your day and you and H2B need to be happy. We were originally going to be having our reception in the church rooms next to the church, do a buffet and have that sort of thing like you but yesterday we decided that as we have shrunk our guest list down, we can actually afford to do a nice meal etc at our favourite family pub/country hotel. We are actually very pleased about this because from a practical point of view, once everyone has gone home, we can just go upstairs and not have to worry about travelling which would also be ideal for your disabled Grandma. I can see it from both perspectives unfortunately and can't give you a definitive answer either way but I thought I'd put my two-penneth in for what it's worth - Ultimately, you need to be happy and you need to do what you and the H2B want and no-one else. Don't be dictated to and just because people are putting money into a wedding, it doesn't mean they are allowed to say what you can and can't do. We are having the catering paid for by the W2B's Nana and she wouldn't dream of telling us to do something just because she is paying! Be happy and make a decision together that is right for you both and not your family. You could always provide a nice comfy chair for your older relatives if they get tired (we did this at my cousin's wedding in August, and it worked really well!) :) xx

Are they paying? If they will cover the cost of a wedding at a hotel I would seriously consider it. They made some really good points.

you also got to think .. if theres no accommodation for your gran, and they decided not to attend because of it, would you be happy with that? My OH's family live in Scotland (so will need to stay over) i had my heart set on a certain place, but they only have 8 rooms :\ theres no way i could get married without our families present, so we chose another hotel with more rooms to accommodate everyone. Its not exactly what i wanted, but its a fair trade if it means i have everyone one special there.

My gran is also wheelchair bound as is oh's mum. It was very important to us to have a venue that would accommodate them. We activity ruled out ones that were not suitable, but thats a choice we as a couple made, not one that was imposed. At the end of the day I wanted people to be abke to go to bed if they wanted without relying on other guests to get them their so we looked at hotels specifically. Each family is different so just ask if you would be happy for the older guests to have to leave early/not come. Its a choice you should make. You can tell your parents you will discuss it and take their comments into consideration.

Go for what you really want as it's about you and your h2b, however, maybe just to give everything full consideration go visit a few generic venues and look at the packages, then make a pros and cons list of your preferred venue and a generic one. It may help you make up your mind. Just remember, do what you both really feel is right as you don't want to have any regrets xxx