Wedding Forum - Useless bridesmaid!...

My so called best friend of 13 years was my first choice for one of my 6 bridesmaids she was in an unloving rship and was seeing someone else behind his back and constantly moaned too me about her unloving partner etc etc; as a best friend I was there for her HOWEVER since it's all gone out in the open with her new fella she hasn't bothered with me AT ALL! I've called her out on it sooooo many times and all she does is go on like her life's full of drama and it's all self made to be honest! BUT she's supposed too be my bridesmaid and she's not contacting me back with ANYTHING let alone anything wedding/bridesmaid related infact she's completely dropped me and all my plans since going public with her new man; what do I do? I'm sick of being polite my other 5 bridesmaids are all pulling their weight but she's making no effort and I'm getting soooooo annoyed!

What do I do

It hurts though don't it? I feel really hurt and let down tbh; thanks for your feedback babe @whovianbride2b

Yes it's very hard, it broke my heart, but after a year now she had not even bothered to apologise or anything I realised I was fat more invested in our friendship than she was. I counted her in my top 5, I don't think she even rated me in her top 30.
She had been my friend for over 10 years. And bestie for 7.
But I now have better people in my life, I asked one of my other friends to be a bridesmaid instead, and it had brought is so much closer together. We meet up as soon as often , not even just for wedding stuff. She always includes my daughter, and I'm just so happy with my life. I sometimes think back to my old friend, but she was not the same person.

It's a tricky one.. even with 2 years to go I would still expect her to be showing some sort of interest in the wedding. A bridesmaid isn't supposed to just look pretty and turn up on the day, they're chosen to support you from day 1 of the planning process. I asked my girls 2 years in advance to be my bridesmaids and they've been very interested and involved right from the start - I'd expect the same from anyone else!

I'd probably have a proper heart to heart with her, get everything out in the open and then see where you both stand. xx

With an attitude like hers I'd sack her!

Well said idl

She needed that sent to her to be honest, moans that she had best be one, then does not live up to it when she is. Hope you get a reply soon.

And when and if the new relationship all goes t!ts up, wonder who she will run to?? I'm guessing you and swhe will expect things to be the same as they were.

Also the only problem is I now have a space for a bridesmaid too be filled; I've got someone in mind but don't know how to approach it as I don't want her too feel like an option rather than a priority which is exactly how it looks!

Goshhhhh never realised getting married would be so stressful lol

I'd be tempted not to fill the space with another bridesmaid. If you wanted someone as a bridesmaid enough then wouldn't you have asked them from day one, regardless of how many you had?

I wouldn't worry about having an even number, that's not important. I'd hate to be asked to be a bridesmaid knowing I was just asked to make up the numbers. Could you sell the spare bridesmaid stuff?

I'm so with you on the OCD thing, I have to have even things..... Even when it's eating something, I have to eat an even amount in both cheeks, I know, I'm weird ;)

The other problem is, are you asking a bridesmaid for the hell of it? Failing that, why don't you wait until this blows over because you wouldn't want her thinking she's second best and just being asked because of your useless friend!

I'm the same with eating as well @owlandthebutterfly
I also smell every mouthful before I eat it and deconstruct everything before eating it amongst loads of other crazy things lol

Only bridesmaids are aware of this situation and of course you lovely lot!

Such a stressful time I'll just have too see how things man out too be honest; speak too H2B tonight and see what he thinks about it all one of my bridesmaids I was forced too pick anyway so maybe see about removing her? I dont know ill just see how things go

Anddddddd BREATHE lol

If you want to add then add theres no harm bt maybe wait closer so u dont have the same problem again... i added a bridesmaid in (i only have 2) but i didnt do it from the start. It was budget i needed to wait n see if i cud afford the extra expense

Sometimes peeps love being asked as an extra. Some of my guests were thrilled to be upgraded.

That's what I was thinking @glitterfairy I've asked all my bridesmaids (my sister in law was told without my permission or wanting her as one) at different times if they would be a bridesmaid and all my choices were completely over the moon with being asked

Definitely a good thing you are shot of her! That's why she's not a bridesmaid anymore lol

Seems like a good move!

She sounds like a right troll. I bet if you posted on her status asking if it was aimed at you she's the sort of idiot that would say "No," as well.

Good riddance! xx

Sounds like she needed that message good and proper. She's no loss.

She is just such a nasty person by the sounds of it you should count yourself lucky you're shot of her now.

It's very odd. Could it be its him controlling her?

also it was the ''nice guy'' attitude that sucked me in in the first place lol.

Oh dear, as long as you're sure it's not him but her.

You'll find it gets easier to deal with over time, I've lost close friends in the past because they upset me so much but it took a long time to be shot of them because I was holding onto how we were so close in the past.

Saves you space and money at your wedding too xxx

Give it time, the closer you are the more its bound to hurt.