I know this is a topic witch somepeople might have strong feeling about but I dont mean it to affend anyone.
I think I might just be being over sensitive here. I caught H2B watching something I dont agree with, you know, dirty films. It never use to bother me to be honest but just recently its become a kind of problem. He is really sneaky about it. He hides his phone (he watches on his iphone) if I walk in the room. I clocked him hiding it so I asked to see what he was doing and he said sorry and shown me.....
Just recently I have been having majour self image issues and I feel quite hurt that he is looking at these gorgeous skinny (I know its fake lol) girls and I just keep thinking if thats what turns him on then why is he with me because im the opposite. It sparked a disagreement last night and he loves me blah blah blah. I asked why was he sneaking about doing it and he said he didnt want to put set me.
Sorry, just needed to rant. Feel rubbish at the moment. I think the problem is more me than him!
Thanks for listening
Kirsty xxx
Was 14 st now 11st 10lb
CommentAuthorMrsWalker2be
I know what you mean, but maybe he knows you have body issues and thats why he hides it from you?
Me and my other half watch naughty films together and then it keeps the spark alive as well as having nothing to hide.
WHy do nt you treat yourself to some nice and naught underwear and have a pamper session at home, then knock his socks off with how amazing and REAL you are in comparison to the blow up bimbos he has been watching?
xx
CommentAuthorLittle Kettle
How would you feel if he was more open about it? Say, if he was to tell you that he was watching it and not sneaking about? I realise that some women find this kind of thing awful and I can understand there are a lot of reasons to, but myself and H2B are really open about it and I know come Sat night when I go to bed and he's up late, that's what he's doing (either that or zombie films, but hopefully both for very different reasons)! Personally, I don't have a problem with him doing this. It's a fantasy thing for him and I know this. I also know that given the opportunity, should it ever arise (which, of course, it wouldn't as these are only films and fantasy) that he would never act upon such things with these women. Personally, I'd much rather he watch this stuff and be open about it than feel as though he has to hide it from me - that would make me so much more paranoid and self-concious than the latter. I hope you find a way to work through this. I know it's an isse for a lot of couples. Hx
Vegas baby!
Moderator
CommentAuthorMrsSaraParry!
edited
I understand how you feel, I wouldn't like it if my H2B was watching it either! I know Adam doesnt because he doesn't really find it a turn on at all, as you can see we've discussed this before lol. Its the same as when they go in lap dancing clubs - Adam doesn't because I've made it clear that I'm not comfortable with it, but he said to blokes its just harmless fun and a bit of excitement. It doesn't mean anything, same as watching dirty films. From what I can gather its pretty normal for guys to watch this sort of stuff, and I really dont think its any reflection on how he feels about you or the way you look :o) So chin up, you're beautiful and he loves you so stop worrying! :o) xxxx
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
Please remember that he may watch these girls but its you that he gets into bed with
There is nothing wrong with you. Remember to love yourself too. I feel like you, i have very low self esteem too. He loves you, but i would ask him if he insists on watching stuff like that he should be honest with you about it x x x good luck x
Tick Tock "why is a raven like a writing desk???"
CommentAuthorAli
I don't have an issue with naughty films and h2b and i watch them together and i dare say he watches them alone, but it really doesn't bother me. I know that friends of mine would be disgusted if they knew their partners were watching them, but me i find it quite funny
And to be fair looking at the amount of weight you've lost you shouldn't be having self image problems, think what you've done is brilliant and i'm sure if you were put next to one of these bimbos h2b would still chose you xx
Happy to be Mrs Holt, love my husband and love the memories
of our wedding day
CommentAuthorKatie
I feel exactly the same Oct my H2B before he met me looked at those things and I had no problem with that but the other day I found he had been looking at this online again. I was very hurt and angry and it made me feel repulsive as if he has to look at that then there is something wrong in our relationship. We dont have "early nights" Often as he has a bad back and cant but ots him not me that stops us from doing it. He is always telling me I am the woman of his dreams yet he is looking at this so clearly Im not the woman of his fantasys I realise some of you wont feel the same way and feel ok with your H2B watching this but I think if you have body issues as me and Oct have it makes you feel ugly and worthless.
xx
Those who mind dont matter
Those who matter dont mind
CommentAuthorlollilou
HeatherG love your post sounds very similar to my man.Mind you we watch the zombie films together but not the naughty ones (not my thing) I know some women do not like their men watching stuff like that. I personally wouldn't like the sneakiness I know on a weekend my man might watch a film and have no problem with that but if it is a problem for you I would sit down and have a chat with him and perhaps come to a compromise, say he tells you and it's only once a week? But only if you are ok with this otherwise it will make you unhappy.
CommentAuthormartay (marie)
i know exactly how you are feeling. my h2b was looking at stuff online, which i stumbled across when i used the 'history' tab looking for a site i had used. i was pretty miffed about it because one of the site was a replica facebook site (use your imaginations!). i never said anything until he wasnt expecting it, and then sarcastically mentioned it, knowing he couldnt deny it. what bothered me the most was the site he had browsed, was one where you could hook up with these airheads purely to get physical. which made me feel awful as i've put weight on and was Au Naturelle! i also mentioned to him that our daughter uses the laptop and if she had come across it, well god knows.
he apologised and said he wouldnt do it again, but he did a few weeks later - and this time i blew my top and gave him an ultimatum. throughout all this we were in some financial difficulty with our house on market, and most nights he would sit in one room watching tv and me in other and we were worlds apart - his response was he was bored and doesnt always want to watch what i watch - OBVIOUSLY!!
throughout our relationship films etc have never been an issue and have both enjoyed them together, but at that time whilst i was busting a gut to sell our home, i felt like he was sneaking about behind my back and had no respect for me, as the closeness we had shared had gone, and i was prepared to walk. only through a massive argument one sat night where everything came out did we clear the air and he understood how i felt.
now we are too bloody knackered to even put a film on, cos you can guarantee id fall asleep!
all ive got to give to you are these 5 words tonight
Thank you for loving me, for being my eyes when i couldnt
see. for parting my lips when i couldnt breathe
thank you for loving me xxx
CommentAuthorjodie b
i understand where you coming from, i really dont like it, my thoughts are why watch that when you have me (not than i'm anything great) but made me feel like doesnt want me, its not just you have you told him how it makes you feel? xx
CommentAuthorKimmie.Bride.to.be
I feel the same about this. My h2b is in the raf and used to live in a block. When we were packing his room up to move into our first house I found loads of DVDs. I was repulsed. Told him, and he said he wouldn't watch it again. Then a few weeks later, I found in his history on the laptop that he was still doing it. So confronted him again and actually got a bit upset in front of him. Nowadays, when I go to bed early I get para that he has 'babestation' or something of the sort on, and also get para when his history on his phone suddenly disapears. Really really upsets me to the point that I stop eating. I know EXACTLY how you feel. xxxx
CommentAuthormelvis
i can see why this is distressing for you... movies and internet sites dont offend me... its the clubs... you know? why woul they PAY money to some you know what that they can get at home... that really hurt me... the movies im absolutely fine with... watch them with him... but its the clubs that i hate xx
Cant wait to be Mrs Melissa Mooney!!!
Hes The Man Of My Dreams
Kos 2013!
CommentAuthorMrsd
I think most men do and to them its just a bit of fun, they even swap pics on phones and swap films to them its harmless fun, to them its fantasy, i dont mind them or him watching them, its me he comes to when hes feeling randy so i dont mind lol. Be worried if it was men only films tho!
CommentAuthorOct12bride86
If he wasn't so sneaky about it maybe I wouldnt feel so bad. I just get so annoyed that he was doing that d I am craving some attention and he just seems to be ignoring me. I can understand why, Iv had alot of trouble with my cervix (bleeding and painful sex), he says he doesn't want me to be in pain.
When we first met we both watched it but after a while I did say to him that it really wasn't my thing and I'd rather not have it on while we were being intimate. He said fine and he just watched it on his own. Then I got pregnant and he watched it alot because I just didnt want to be messed with lol.
I know in my heart he wont ever cheat and I trust him 100%. I know he loves me and he wants to marry me, I just think its my problem really. Need to pull myself together.
I have lost a lot of wieght but my self esteem has gone i the opposite direction. I think my strech marks are more noticable and I have a excess skin. I need to get a grip and sort myself out.
Kirsty xxx
Was 14 st now 11st 10lb
CommentAuthorMrsMelodyWalker
When I moved in with my h2b I was doing a good clean of the house as it was a state, I come across his porn stash and made him bin it. Well, I thought that was the end of it, he was with me now he didn't need it!
About a year later we decided to have the whole house decorated and we need to pack everything away and move things around for the painters to get in, I came across more porn hid away! He told me they were old and he'd forgot about them, he had me and didn't need it anymore. I made him chuck it away and that was the end of it!
Last summer we moved house and whilst packing I come across some porn, he couldn't use the excuse that it was old stuff he forgot about as it was hid away in a place I had originally looked at whilst we had decorated. He apologised, explained and I kind of realised I was being a little silly. He's a guy, all guys like to watch it and it's just fantasy, in reality if he was given the chance to do what they do in porn he'd poop his pants and run a mile plus I know he loves me, he finds me gorgeous, beautiful and extremely sexy, he wouldn't go else where!
But I still made him promise that was the end of porn, he wouldn't buy it, look at it and so on..
But recently I've got a bit suspicious. He tell's me he's going for a lie down, goes to our bedroom, closes the door and I don't hear anything from him for half hour lol if I go upstairs he can hear me coming and I walk in just as he's hiding his phone. It's so obvious what he's up to!!
Bugs the hell out of me but I can't bring it up because may be I'm wrong and I don't want him to think I don't trust him lol.
I totally understand why your upset by it!!
xxx
All of my dreams come true the day I married you, Mr Walker
5.11.11
Remember Remember The 5th of November
CommentAuthorNerdette
My H2B has quite an extensive collection. I know he watches it, because he locks himself away. To be honest, it doesn't bother me, since he usually watches it during my time of the month and not in the mood for intimacy. It mildly offends me when he watches at other times of the month, but he's never done it sneakily - he only locks himself away because he thinks I'll feel upset and uncomfortable watching it. It would be the secrecy about doing it that would hurt me.
So I'd suggest your fella be a bit more open about it - at least openly admitting he does it, even if he's going to hide himself away to do it.
On 21st April 2012 I will marry my best friend!
NikkyPickles is proud to be a Nerdette!
CommentAuthorsuzky123
personally I dont see the point and im lucky with my h2b but he knows that I will hapilly watch it from time to time anyways. the other boyfs though always had a major stash and I learnt to accept it but didnt like it.
cant wait to be Mrs Evans less than 3 weeks woooo
start weight 10st 1.5 lbs
weight now 8st 4.5 lbs
total loss to date: 24.5 lbs now need to maintain!
CommentAuthorAtaraxia
My h2b doesn't really have any or watch it, he's watched it in the past and we've watched together but I just find it funny :P so I don't really know what to suggest... do you think if he knew exactly HOW much it bothers you, he'd stop..or would it just make him more secretive?
I have to say it would bother me if he was hiding it etc, because that to me would say he knows it's going to bother me, but he's going to do it anyway just secretly - which kind of blows. So I totally see what you mean, I would be upset about it.
Got married 27th June and blessed on July 5th 2012
Finally Mrs M :3
Love, love... Here we are.
CommentAuthormym72
H2b has watched it in the past - and tbh when I was single so have I (it's not always just males lol). We're very open with each other and now he doesn't (and neither do I). We don't need to. He has told me about clubs he's been to when he was single, and the money he's shelled out on private dances.
We went out last weekend and I've always said to him the only problem I've got with these clubs is the amount of money that people waste there (and if he was to have a stag night I had visions of him and his mates paying for dances when the money could be better spent once we're on honeymoon. In Leeds the clubs tend to put on free hummers to these clubs - so I stopped one of them and said to h2b that I wanted to see what went on lol.
Tbh all they are are very expensive (£9 a round) bars with topless girls. In the end h2b had a dance and I went in with him. The poor girl looked more embarrassed and explained she'd never danced for a couple lol. H2b agreed that the place didn't have the same novelty value now he's with me and can get anything he wants at home lol. I learnt that they're not really sleazy places - after all it's the girls in there that get the last laugh at the amount of money they make at some sad guys expense.
As for p*** - men find it more physical than emotional and if the girl of their dreams was a p*** star then they wouldn't be marrying you. S** plays a major part in any relationship and if he wasn't happy again he wouldn't be committing to you long term by marrying you.
CommentAuthorKinkyemo
My H2B watches it and if im in the mood I watch it with him! It helps keep the spark alive and no matter what I know he loves me and would never want me to be them! He always says that to him im the most beautiful girl in the world (he must be looking at me from another planet to what i see in the mirror LMAO) He is happy with my weight (even though sometimes im not)
It doesnt really bother me when he is looking at these women as we both know he would never act on it! Those girls are totally unobtainable! No matter what its me he falls asleep next to and me he wakes up to!
We are quite open about things like that he often looks at piccys of his favourite 'fantasy' ladies haha and he is perfectly fine with me having my favourite 'fantasy' man as my laptop background LOL
No matter what hun he is marrying YOU! not some fake bimbo YOU he chose to be by your side for life :-)
CommentAuthorOct12bride86
Thanks ladies
Cant believe I am crying about this, good lord!!!! Your all so good to me.
Love you all
Kirsty xxx
Was 14 st now 11st 10lb
CommentAuthorHonest John!
Please try not to be bothered by it. I dont have any such items nor have i not since i was a teenager, however an ex of mine used to watch them and i used to be a little upset by it, but not bothered at the end of the day she was only watching soemthing. On a lighter note when my brother in law moved house a few years ago we were shifting loads of his resonal things and a huge black bin bag of mags and dvds ripped open in the street, and the removal men had a right good laugh, appaently there were over 100 mags and 200 dvds, no wonder he was a local arm wresting champion!
CommentAuthorButterflyDreamer
I found my h2b had been watching it a few months ago and i hate it! I felt disgusting and even went as far as to say to him if he's not happy with me or our S3x live to leave!
I understand men watching it if they are single but i don't agree when they are in a relationship. But that just me, i have alot of issues with the way i look and how i feel about myself and it just makes me feel worse. You aren't stupid for crying at all hun. I absolutely howled and went off on one at My h2b.
xx
