i've been feeling so upset today... H2b and i had a big argument about the wedding last nite.. i have found my dress and was supposed to order it today and he basically said no because its too soon and i will change my mind, he also said i am freaking him out with all the planning and i should stop for a while... The thing is when i told him about my dress before he said if i want it and i'm paying for it then to go ahead and get it but now that i have the money he is telling me not to get it yet... I haven't bought anything at all i have just priced things... i dont know what to do...
CommentAuthorGoff
If you like it get it. But i think you need to sit down and talk to him about exactly how he feels about your wedding and why he is feeling freaked out honey x
UKB Mad Scientist
Ride it like ya stole it.....
I'm a flippin ORTHOTIST
CommentAuthorohfiddles
your getting your dress from Ann arent you? i would just say its gonna take 3 months roughly to make then you might have to get it altered, although prob not, and it would be one less thing to worry about. Also talk to him about his concerns sounds to me like he has only just realised its gonna happen, mine had the same thing go on in his head but he is fine now that he knows i will sort it all out lol xx
CommentAuthorSuzi
I agree with the others hun, you need to find out why the change of heart with the dress and find out what is going on in his head! x
Do not disturb... Already disturbed enough!
CommentAuthorOfficially Mrs Nicol
yes i'm getting it from ann, i had to mail her today and explain that i'm gona have to wait as the h2b has freaked out but have no word back from her yet.. When i try to talk to him about things he says it's ok, i trust you, do what u like as the day is mostly for you... you don't have to explain it all to me, so then when he asks to know something i tell him and he freaks out all over again... i feel like i can't win, there is just no balance... :(
Honestly babe id wait for a little while for your dress just because you have two years to go and apart from styles changing so you might find something else you love nearer the time your body change's over time as well. Id buy the things like favours, centre pieces first so that they can keep. Email the person your getting the dress from and tell them you want this dress but your wedding is 2 years away and would they be able to hold the pattern so you can get it closer to the time. That way if you still want this dress you still can.
As for freaking your h2b out, dont worry i do that on a daily basis with mine and not always wedding related lol.
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For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart
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CommentAuthorOfficially Mrs Nicol
he's also asked me to give the planning a break for a while.... i think he's getting cold feet....
CommentAuthorlotbot
yea talk to him, it probally all coming to reality for him now and he mite be worrying but u willl never know if u dont ask :D x
CommentAuthorSuzi
I doubt its cold feet hun. You do have a couple of years to go yet so a lot of planning too early can confuse a man, they don't think like we do! I would give it a little break for now and I agree with Hails when it comes to the dress. x
Do not disturb... Already disturbed enough!
CommentAuthorOfficially Mrs Nicol
thanks girls i'll have a talk to him again 2nite, i'm only on coz he's fell asleep on the couch, trying not to cause any more arguments tonite... i'm gona have to go b4 he wakes up... if im not on for a while you all know why... Thanks again for the help.. :)
CommentAuthorohfiddles
we will all be wishing you luck and waiting to hear if it went ok, im sure it will though xxx
CommentAuthorBee
hope you get things sorted x
CommentAuthorKerrylou
My tuppenceworth - obviously you are free to take it or leave it ;)
You've got 28 months, that's 2.33 years. It's not long, but then again it is a bloomin long time! Apart from getting the big things like church/CC venue and reception venue there's not really a lot you can do yet apart from ideas. I was supposed to get married last July but had to postpone for 2 years - I found a dress, my gosh, I loved it so much, it was the only wedding dress I would ever think about wearing..........until I found something else I totally fell in love with! Over the next 2 years you could gain weight, you could have a baby (or 2) or something else that totally whacks your figure out of shape, only to have this dress look.......erm...........not as good as it maybe should! You could buy it, get it out of the wardrobe in a year and think "What the hell was I thinking? It's blo ody hideous!" What I'm saying is your body changes, your tastes change and unless your dress is an absolute classical design then I'd hold back on buying it! Heck, 6 weeks ago I fell head over heels with a dress, now I'm getting a completely different one, like opposite end of the scale style wise - things can change *snaps fingers* just like that!
I don't think he's getting cold feet - he's a man, the wedding is more than 6 months away so his attentions will be elsewhere. When he's telling you to hold off on the planning it's not because he's changed his mind, it's because he realises how long it is before you get married. He may just want to enjoy your engagement without steaming into planning.
I hope you get to talk and I really do hope it all goes alright. Keep us posted sweetheart xxx
It's right what they say
"The course of true love never runs smoothly"
But if it had been easy then we wouldn't love each other as
much as we do right now - 1 week to go :D
CommentAuthorNicci
I think kerry has just given you a fantastic bit of advice!!
I thought id found my dress also, i was in love but within a month i hated it! lol I looked about and then fell in love with a HUGE princess style dress (not my thing AT ALL) but i had to have it-and i did. You'll be suprised how things can change.
As for your h2b i completely agree with kerry-its not because he doenst care, its because its still quite far away. Hope everything goes ok for you x
CommentAuthorMrs Turps (Nicpep)
its might not be cold feet hun. My H2b thinks I am planning ours to soon, he thinks its like a party and we plan it a few weeks before lol he is always saying lets sort it all nearer the time and thinks im doing it to early (errr i have 5.5 months to go.....lol)
18-09-10
Now a married lady :)
Im a rebel me
CommentAuthorKerrylou
Thanks Nicci - I seem to be coming out with sheer brilliance this week LOL I'm sure i'll be back to my gibbering self soon hehehe Nah, it's been there, done that, plus having a bloke who talks blokey thoughts and feelings, but like us women would - I'm quite blessed really :) xxx
Sorry, I was just LOLling at your post nicpep - bless his cotton socks. Yeah, a wedding is exactly like a huge birthday party - you've got HEAPS of time :P I've had to beat that notion out of Ross otherwise nothing would have ever got moving hehehe xxx
It's right what they say
"The course of true love never runs smoothly"
But if it had been easy then we wouldn't love each other as
much as we do right now - 1 week to go :D
CommentAuthorjenniebean
my H2B is also asking me to give it all a break as i was getting a little obsessed hence why i am not on here as much as i was i do think as some others have said that it may be a little early to grt your dress i have 10 months and i havent got mine yet as i am planning on loseing some weight before and you may do the same or you just m ay change your mind about it why dont you put the money into a saving account and let it work for you untill closer to the time i have not bought anything either yet just feels a bit early for me really but will start after our holiday in may i think
CommentAuthorMRS WILKINSON
Having my own bridal room with my mum we see it all the time, girls come in few years before their wedding and try on dresses and it's all 'wow' and 'thats amazing' but then they come in a year before their wedding (which is the average time in our shop) and its like right down to business, its then they actaully think about the whole picture like the venue, church etc and they found they went for something completely different. All i would say is if you are having it made i would hang fire for the moment for three reasons; 1) when dresses are made they are made to measure and will decrease in value and also harder to sell even if it hasnt been worn (if you decide you want a different dress) 2) You may change in wieght and then put pressure on yourself and that is the last thing you need to be doing on top of everything else. 3) If you havent actually tried on any dresses then what you think you want may actually not be what you imagined on. Everyone suit different things, but there are soo many styles out there that you never knew suited you, so if you have'nt tried on lots of different styles it maybe worth trying on to be sure- you may even find another dress you love and suprise yourself (we see it everyday)
As a bride myself not getting married untill April 2011 yet i got my dress when we went buying in sept 2009 (obv looking with trying on alot of dresses before hand and having a good idea of what i wanted) i would say if you have considered everything above then if you know what you want and you have considered your weight then my opinion is when you find *the one* doesnt matter if you get married in 2weeks or 10years you will still love thats dress - same as your husband to be :)
CommentAuthorMRS WILKINSON
Also my h2b wasnt bothered about getting involved in the wedding plans and i just sat him down and said you gave me this ring you made the desision so you get yourself involved!
CommentAuthorMRS WILKINSON
Jenniebean just a quick thing dresses take up to 16weeks (4months) and it is always good to have 6months to have alterations etc =)
CommentAuthorButterflyDreamer
My H2B says im planning to early too, which is causing a few little arguments as im trying to get a venue sorted and deposit down so we can have our set date, but he isnt showing the slightest bit of intrest! he says when it gets to 12 months away then he's all for the planning.... but im scared we wont get the venue for the date we want.... and its just taken me ages to find the best venue for us.
CommentAuthorshellay
men dont understand all the hard work that goes into organising a wedding, they get off scott free, if you feel the dress is right for you, you go ahead and order it, its your big day, do what you feel is best and do not let him upset up or put you off :)x
I have know my soulmate for 27 years and on the 6th August
I married him and became Mrs Garnham.
It was most definitely the happiest day of my life.
I love married life !!!!
CommentAuthorbobbysgirl
I agree with kerrylou. i had the same kind of conversation with my OH, as of yet nothing is booked, i have tried on a few dresses in my aunts shop but nothing felt right (doesn't help that i'm still carrying a stone of baby weight). we haven't saved the money we need for a wedding and we have 2 years and 3 months. it's ages away. our lives could change so much. yet i was spending all my spare time on wedding sites. whats the point. i was so obsessed with looking at wedding things i started to forget about what it all meant and Rob felt left out. my parents organised there whole wedding in SIX WEEKS!!!! ok so i will probably give myself a year to organise things but for now i'm just browsing for ideas. no way would i buy my dress over two years in advance even if i thought it was the one i know my taste would change, my body will change, the way i look will even change a bit. i bought a pair of shoes at the weekend which were amazing and i had to buy to go with the outfit i was wearing that night to a party. and guess what i never wore them.
CommentAuthorOfficially Mrs Nicol
basically i have been told to stop planning until we have 12 months to go... :( he said that i'm jumping into this to avoid my homework and studying 4 exams... guess im gona be off this for a wile... :(
CommentAuthorbobbysgirl
nicola, it doesn't stop you having a quick brows but maybe a bit of a break from hardcore planning during your exams is a good thing.
CommentAuthorohfiddles
12 months isnt very long, have you tried explaining that it takes ages to plan? the planning is fine i think, but the buying stuff could wait a while. are you really going on and on about it? xxx
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
i have 2 years too ......and im not hinking of getting my dress yet although i am having great fun in looking at different styles
where getting married in june 2011 and we were told to get everything sorted as we didnt have alot of time to do it all. We started sorting things in feb and we are now finished! lol It took 8wks! So i wouldnt worry about getting sorted just yet :)
CommentAuthorKerrylou
I'd say 18 months before you absolutely need to start planning stuff - but if you want to book a popular venue then sooner rather than later. Bloomin 'eck - my aunty planned her wedding from start to finish in under 4 months, it CAN be done!
I think for you ladies that have over 2 years to go there is a huge problem with planning so far ahead (I'm not trying to rain on your parades, it's experience) So much is subject to change, you get bamboozled with ideas, one minute you think this is the most amazing thing in the world, the next something else has turned your head. My theme changed no less than 8 times in 6 months and I had to force myself to stop. There's nothing wrong with looking, if you don't look you don't get ideas but don't start rushing into things.
Nicola love, concentrate on your studies for now, you've got time on your side for wedding planning. Your h2b has a point about exams being important - you've put so much work in, to fluff up now would be an enormous mistake. He's looking out for you, might not seem like it but I promise you he is.
And for a moment I'm going to have to take the side of men here - not all men have no idea on the planning process. My Ross works tirelessly with me on wedding planning because now he realises just how much work goes into it, he had no idea originally, but if you don't tell them then they don't know. You may just be surprised, most h2bs actually do want to help!
It's right what they say
"The course of true love never runs smoothly"
But if it had been easy then we wouldn't love each other as
much as we do right now - 1 week to go :D
CommentAuthorMrs (Dove) Pidgeon
Apart from the venue and church, We started planning our wedding 12 months before- and have had no problems with suppliers being booked up. And that is for a Saturday in August. It can be done very easily- we basically did all our supplier bookings in a couple of weeks.
Now a extremely happy German housewife and now a Mother!!!!
Islay Jean born 24th June in Hannover.
