hello everyone, im currently at the stage of planning my hen party/going to try on bridesmaid dresses etc. however my bridesmaid has just broke up with her partner after 6years, shes taken it really bad. how long/how should i mention wedding things without upsetting her?
CommentAuthorsussie
you have time, give her a few weeks then if she asks what you been up to, slip something wedding related in to guage her responce
CommentAuthorRachy
I'd say give her time, thats really tough for her. I'm guessing she'll need some distraction soon enough and will probably welcome wedding talk but not straight away. You have plenty of time xx
CommentAuthorAmyP7
I agree, give her time and then mention you have been doing x and x wedding related in a few weeks to a month. Be there for her x x
CommentAuthorPoppy x
edited
I understand the dilemma - it's hard to get enthralled with someone else's happiness when you're so low. Give her a little time to get her head around the situation and then ask her whether she's up to it yet. You never know, trying on dresses may even cheer her up a bit. But being there for her is what she'll need right now.
I agree, just give her time & be there for her (as much as you can with wedding planning too!) she will appreciate it & she may even bring the wedding up first xx
Got together 06/07/2009
Got engaged 16/07/2012
I marry my best friend 08/06/2014
Can't wait to be Mrs Sharp x
CommentAuthorJoanna
This will be a hard time for her so I wouldn't mention the wedding at all for a few weeks and just be there for her
The greatest thing you'll ever learn
is just to love and be loved in return
CommentAuthorFluffyk04
i want to give her as much time as possible, just not sure how long or what to say first as i know shes going through such a hard time. just feels difficult when she asks what i've been up to and its wedding planning but i don't want to tell her in case it upsets her :'(
CommentAuthorJoanna
Yeah I wouldn't tell her you've been wedding planning as it could upset her. I'd leave it a few weeks without mentioning it then see how she's doing. She might bring it up first?
The greatest thing you'll ever learn
is just to love and be loved in return
CommentAuthorSianyCaitlin
I'd just be honest, I'd say 'wedding planning' but then tell her you understand she's upset & that you won't go on about it etc as you don't want to upset her & then just see what she says, she may change the subject or she may talk about the wedding, then you'll know where you stand xx
Got together 06/07/2009
Got engaged 16/07/2012
I marry my best friend 08/06/2014
Can't wait to be Mrs Sharp x
CommentAuthorPoppy x
I'd see how it goes to be honest, and be honest with her about the planning if she asks - no point to be forever treading on eggshells. Everyone takes it differently and some people bounce back far faster than others. Be there for her, but keep her informed too. She may surprise you.
Hope it's not too long before she's back on her feet again x
CommentAuthorTori
If she's already taking it really bad then she is likely to be upset about any wedding talk. I would give it a fair while, six years is a long term relationship xx
CommentAuthorLauraJo87
I'd be honest with what you've been doing wedding planning wise....obviously, she knows you've been planning a wedding and if she didn't want to hear, she wouldnt ask. Other than that, I'd just be extra careful of 'going on' about the wedding (which it sounds like you are doing) She might be upset if she felt like she was missing out on wedding planning stuff because you were trying not to upset her? She has had a major blow however all people react differently and throwing herself into helping you with your wedding planning might give her something to focus on?
If you do feel that you can't talk wedding planning with her, I'd make sure that you make time to do something nice and non-wedding related with her, so she doesn't feel like she's being pushed out.
To be honest, I think avoiding all wedding talk is going to turn it into 'the elephant in the room' ...it's a tricky one though. Xx
My Beating Heart Belongs To You
30 August 2013
The First Day Of My Happily Ever After
CommentAuthorLauraJo87
I meant that it sounds like you're already being careful not to go on about your wedding to her, not that you already are going on about the wedding to her!
Maybe see if she brings it up first...xx
My Beating Heart Belongs To You
30 August 2013
The First Day Of My Happily Ever After
CommentAuthorPenguinJ
leave it a while but i would mention it and ask if its ok to discuss and plan stuff. xxx
So lucky to be marrying my soulmate on 18/07/20
CommentAuthorMrs-Mouse-2-be
I've been "that bridesmaid". I found out my boyfriend had cheated on me and we broke up. A few days after that my brother got engaged. I was devastated over the break up but I put a smile on my face everyday because there was always wedding talk everyday amongst the family. A few months went past and I went into work one day and my friend told me to sit down and that she had news. She told me my ex had just got engaged to the girl he cheated on me with and they had booked their wedding for the same day as my brother's. I know this has not happened in this case but I can tell you now I was absolutely heartbroken and I can sympathise with this bridesmaid of yours. No offence but wedding talk is the last thing I wanted to endure, having said that on the day of the wedding I was glad that I was a bridesmaid as it totally lifted my spirits which at the time I didn't think it could.
The thoughts of being a bridesmaid when you have just split up with a longterm boyfriend is tough, but being one on the day is a breeze and its very enjoyable. I would ask her if she would want to be included in the preparation for the wedding rather than just exclude her for the next few weeks because I'm sure that she may think that being forgotten about is just as bad. Talk to her and find out how she feels about it.
CommentAuthorLulu1388
Think the advice above is pretty much what i'd suggest to. leave it a while, and be there for her whilst still getting on with wedding planning as well, and because being there for her during this time she may even bring it up herself in a few wks. As others have said wedding talk at this immediate point in time probably isnt the best but after a few weeks, she will understand that things need to be discussed espec as she is BM, and that on the day will definitely be a strength to her! xx
Every Once In a While In The Middle of an Ordinary Life
. . . Love Gives Us a Fairytale. . .
CommentAuthorFluffyk04
Shes totally heart broken :( its so horrible to see her so upset! I've not mentioned the wedding at all. last night she rang me and asked me about bridesmaid dresses....saying she needed a girl day! I didn't rush in to set a date, once shes eating and sorted out there house etc were going to arrange a girls day shopping and lunch!
Going to leave it to her to mention it again as emotional s can be everywhere!!
CommentAuthorLauraJo87
Well, it's good that she's bought it up first....it might take her mind of things.
It's an awful thing to watch a close friend go through though, I hope she is feeling better soon xx
My Beating Heart Belongs To You
30 August 2013
The First Day Of My Happily Ever After
CommentAuthorSianyCaitlin
She's lucky to have such a caring, sensitive friend like yourself! & I agree with Laura, it's good that she mentioned it first. Hope she's ok soon xx
Got together 06/07/2009
Got engaged 16/07/2012
I marry my best friend 08/06/2014
Can't wait to be Mrs Sharp x
