ok, i have to sack 2 bridesmaids and i really dont know how to do it without hurting their feelings. they have less money than me and there is no way they're gonna be able to buy the outfits (they're £150 each)
has anyone else had to do this and if so how did it go?

i was thinking about this the other night as i dont think i can afford 4 BMs. unfortunately 2 are SILs and the other two are best friends - one of whom is going to be my MOH. :/

other alternative is look for cheaper bridesmaid dresses! x

Only one of my bms would be able to afford to buy their outfits so I made sure at the start of my wedding planning I budgeted for all of their dresses and tiaras. The only thing I will ask them to buy is their shoes. I think you need to tell them that they are to buy their own dresses and how much they are going to cost and let them decide for themselves if they are willing to do that. I wouldn't "sack" them before you have discussed it with them.

I would sit them down and say that you are really struggling fiancially as the wedding is costing a lot more than you originally thought so unfortunately you can't afford to have them as bridesmaid as you can't afford the dresses, shoes, hair and make up. Say I would love you to still be bridesmaid but you would have to pay for everything yourself which I don't think is fair to ask you...

They will either agree they can't afford it but will still come to the wedding or offer to pay for their dresses etc - you could always ofer what you can afford towards the costs.

possible problems if they hate the dresses you want them to wear it may cause arguments if they are paying for them.

You could do what others have suggested and get cheaper dresses but think your having a japanese theme so guessing thats got particular dresses xx

i did budget for them but it's costing me more than i thought it would hence why i cant have 2 of them my venue is double what i thought it would be and my fiance's divorce now has to be taken out of the wedding budget which i didnt think it would have to be

I thought we had to buy the dresses, would be rood of me to ask mine to buy there own as we were gona do it as thought thats what you were ment to do, how would you ask them to buy the dresses themselves lol :-/ xx

how is it selfish....i cannot afford to pay for their outfits? the 150 includes shoes as well as clothes how the heck is it selfish that i simply dont have the money for 5 bridesmaids?!

so it would be fine for me to turn to one if they were doing my head in and tell them to do one i dont want you in my day but because i want them there but cant afford it i'm harsh? thanks guys just topped off a horrible day!!!!!!!!

i didnt think i would be the one paying for the divorce i though my other half would be as it's his divorce but he's not i am. i only just got told that i would be paying for the divorce like 2 weeks ago i asked them like 2 months ago!

Ok, without trying to sound like a B, I asked my BM to be BM and because I knew I was going to be picky about the dress, I told them I was going to pay for it. This is because I knew that not everyone is as well off as everyone else and that one of my BM in particular would struggle to find 300 for a dress. I would not sack them as at the end of the day, you have asked them and cant use lack of money as an excuse to get rid of them. I am however, telling mine that they will buy their own shoes and hair accessories and they have agreed to those. You can not sack a bm based on whether or not they can afford the dress... this is something you should have thought about before asking them and is out of order to go and back track now. You may also lose friendship as a result. A definite no go area. This leaves you with the following options
1. You ask them if they are happy to fund the dress you would like them to wear.
2. if they are not, ask them if they can make a contribution and you pay the rest,
3. Find a cheaper dress they can afford,
4. Find a cheaper dress you can afford if they cant make a contribution.

I really hope this helps and sorry if this comes across harsh. I dont mean to be and it sounds worse written but please dont sack them over money. You only tend to sack a BM if they are trying your patience and making things difficult for you!

I think maybe the point is that you have five bridesmaids and I can only speak from my perspective but I have chosen my girls because they are all very special to me and if I couldn't afford to buy the dresses I wanted them to wear them I would rather compromise on the dresses than let down two of my girlies.

If it's really that important to have the exact dress you have chosen but for less maids, then that's what works for you.

Well to be fair if they were doing your head in then they don't deserve to be a BM but asking them to take special part and then saying sorry I can't afford to pay for your dress now so if you can't afford it your sacked- is a bit harsh.

I think discussing a way you can all come up with the money will be a better idea, maybe find somewhere else to save money or like someone else suggested get everyone to put away £10 a month and see how much everyone can save to take the strain off the price tag.

Or maybe ask out of them all who doesn't mind stepping down cause funds are tighter than expected.

we're not having a go? we're trying to offer non-bias advice so that you and your 5 BMs achieve optimum outcome.

we love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu xXx

get cheaper this get cheaper that i have tried and this is the cheapest i can find it. i cannot help it if certain styles of clothing arent cheap i thought i'd have enough money but i dont there isnt nothing i can do to change that now all the money we have spare is going to the divorce or wedding anyway

Terribabylove

it's not that but i have changed my dresses umpteen times to make them happy and now i cant afford it! they whinged about everything i picked so i let them pick and now i cant pay for them

suzky123, exactly what i was saying, just in different context lol xx

the link is on my wall ataraxia

ok, if THEY picked the dresses then explain that you can not afford that much. Therefore, if they want them they will have to pay themselves. Alternatively, they will have to find a cheaper dress.

hello kitty, what if u went to somewhere like debenhams and just bought some completely plain dresses in one simple colour....it may not be the exact dresses u wanted but if they still blend with ur colour scheme i think it would work? xxx

what is your theme? is it really complicated to fit a similiar dress style into it?

right, I have looked at the link. You are really gonna hate me now but personally, I do notn think they are worth 150. I have been similar on ebay for 45-50, not exactly the same but similar and I dont personally think they are BM dresses anyways. They look very provocative and will draw attention away from yourself. Again, opinion only, not having a go and you dont have to consider what I said. You may completely disagree with me, after all we have different tastes, However, in my opinion, this is your perfect way out of this jam. They are not BM dresses and they are not suitable. You can then try d'hams which have much more appropriate dresses and have massive sales after crimbo. Or another high street would also have large sales on and some of the dresses are stunning considering they are high street. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

They may make your theme look like a can can theme. Perfect way out of your dilemma