Wedding Forum - UPDATE - No Church 14 weeks to go..Having a really stressful time at the mo! - Page 1

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  1.  
    • Hunny Bunny
      CommentAuthorHunny Bunny
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
      edited
     
    Well we booked our wedding in 2009 for Sept 2010 and due to h2b getting a contract abroad, we changed it to a year later this being the 3rd September 2011. When we booked it we spoke to the Vicar (lady) who was very supportive of all our ideas and we really felt we had bonded with, anyway we found out a few months ago that she has moved on and we now have what would appear to be the Vicar from la la land. He has wiped out most our suggestions, no church bells as the ringers are elsewhere, no doves as as per his email 'I don't do doves' he has vito'd some of our hymn choices and in addition to this and other stuff, we have to pay double to everyone involved as we are having it videoed (this was not the case when we booked it and has come into effect in the last year with no warning) oh and no choir either as they are will the bell ringers elsewhere - even though our paper work specifically requested them (we only have 40 at the wedding reception so I thought we wouldn't sound so dull with a choir).

    I've tried to find an alternative church that I have an association with (as that church was in my h2b's parish) but obviously having no luck as it's far to late. My local vicar has tried to accommodate us by squeezing us into the 12pm slot (between a 11 and 1 wedding) buy my photographer wasn't keen, he felt it would all be too rushed. All the other plans are tied in for that day and have been for quite some time, to move the date would just be too much at this stage.

    I have only 1 church left to try, they only take enquiries on a Monday so have to wait another week on Monday as it's BH!

    Sorry for rant, I'm just so upset and all over the place, I feel I have no choice but to go with what the new vicar says and that's not like me to do that at all......

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  2.  
    • Lisa Ramos
      CommentAuthorLisa Ramos
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    That is so out of order! Are you set on a church wedding? Is it a church of England church? If it is have a look on their official website as they are lots of different ways to prove you have a connection to a church. I know that when we looked into it, it even included if your parents have lived in that area.

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  3.  
    • x~Hails~x
      CommentAuthorx~Hails~x
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    Do you have any paper work stating what it was you booked and how much for??
    If so I would take that to the new vicar say look this is what i booked so this is what i want!

    It's ridicolous how every vicar can get away with charging more then the last even tho there in the same church??

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  4.  
    • Hunny Bunny
      CommentAuthorHunny Bunny
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    Yeah been on there, the last option I have is the one where my Grandparents live, although I have lived with them for a few years when I was younger, so I'm hoping that will help me. I've worked back through the parishes that I've lived in, to make things a little more difficult one of the churches in our area has had a fire, which means that the other churches which we do have an affiliation with have had to help out with the weddings that were booked at the destroyed church. I keep hoping something will happen, but the closer it gets to invites out, the more I am panicking!

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    Met Dec 04~Engaged Feb 05~Finally getting married 3rd Sept

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  5.  
    • Little Kettle
      CommentAuthorLittle Kettle
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    Oh Hunny this is awful! I'm sorry the new Vicar is being such an a$$! I would have thought if yo have the original plans in writing then he'd have to honour that, surely? I hope that the enquiry with your G'ma's church works out ok. Fingers Crossed for you! Hx

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  6.  
    • Hunny Bunny
      CommentAuthorHunny Bunny
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      edited
     
    Thank you, I think I'l need all the luck in the world.... Otherwise I think I'll have to put up and shut up

    Members signature icon
    Met Dec 04~Engaged Feb 05~Finally getting married 3rd Sept

    Start Weight ~ 08.03.11 *198lbs* Current weight 181lbs
    lost 1st 4lbs !!!!
  7.  
    • MrsB2B
      CommentAuthorMrsB2B
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    We are getting married in a church outside our parish, which we have no connection with.
    So maybe an idea to speak to any other churchesin your area/ near your reception venue to see if they would be willing to marry you, even though you don't have a connection with the parish x
  8.  
    • Suzie Bear
      CommentAuthorSuzie Bear
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    That sucks!! I would show them ur paperwork if u have any and like Hails said, ask him to honour what was already agreed. Good luck x

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  9.  
    • XLittleMissMe!X
      CommentAuthorXLittleMissMe!X
     
    Can you not get another vicar to marry you in the church or maybe get a registrar to marry you in the church? They can do that but it will be a civil not a church wedding. I think it is awful that he is doing that to you. The church does have powers that be that are higher so you could take the complaint further if you wanted but I doubt you would get very far with it as they like to stick together. It really isn't fair what they are doing.




  10.  
    • Mrs*Maria*Louise
      CommentAuthorMrs*Maria*Louise
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    hun thats disgusting and id fight for what was originally planned, who does he think he is dont give up hun my church give me paperwork so surely you got something hope you work it out hugs xx

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  11.  
    • madison_uk
      CommentAuthormadison_uk
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    id kick up, if its in writing its a written contract between you and the church, hes just a vicar just cos he dosent like doves dosent mean he has the right to Vito all your plans id see if there's another vicar that can marry you or ring the main office and see if they can help.
    Cant your h2b parents have a word




  12.  
    • clewsy
      CommentAuthorclewsy
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    fight all the way hun get the paper work and send it to the above person from him surely they could do something gud luckxx
  13.  
    • Hunny Bunny
      CommentAuthorHunny Bunny
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    Thank you girls for your suggestions and support, it has been know for me to be a bit of a control freak - so I was feeling pressured into not having what we wanted -just so we have a church.

    I heard back from my 2nd choice and they have a wedding booked in at 12pm, and after explaining the situation, he has offered us 10.15am. It's a little earlier than our 11am slot and I do have a 45min journey to get to the church - but we're really pleased.

    My job for today is to get onto the suppliers who change of church would effect and check it's ok.... just hoping no-one has any objections!

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    Met Dec 04~Engaged Feb 05~Finally getting married 3rd Sept

    Start Weight ~ 08.03.11 *198lbs* Current weight 181lbs
    lost 1st 4lbs !!!!
  14.  
    • Stave
      CommentAuthorStave
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Glad you have it sorted x
 

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