If i was you I would just hold off...28 months is a long time away...I would put her on a provisional guest list for now and then review the situation nearer the time, like in a year or so...as you say, they could have split up by then, also you say she is immature but in a couple of years she might have grown up a bit. I think its too early in the planning to cause big arguments with the in laws. I mean I adore my sisters partner but if I didn't like him I could imagine the arguments it would cause with my sister and my family if I didn't invite him. It really won't make much difference to take her off the list nearer the time...?
CommentAuthorRachelP41
edited
We're hoping to get married before then but haven't set a date but I see your point. Just trying to sort out the list as the amount of people we have depends on which venue we choose and if we have a sit down meal or buffet etc. But thanks for the advice will leave it for a bit and see what happens :)
CommentAuthorMrsH-2B
edited
Your wedding is a long time away yet to be worrying about one guest.. Your guest list at this time is just for very basic idea for venue and yourselves.. Noone needs to know who is or isn't on it.. No invites will be sent out, and if save the dates get sent out, you don't address those by name anyway.. You're right, she may not be with him in 2 years, she may still be with him but have grown up a tremendous amount.. The way to get around the copying is just dont tell her anything about the wedding.. I can't tell my cousins gf stuff for the exact same reason.. But really, no matter how much you hate her, she may still be with your brother in law by the time you get married and you can't tell him that he cannot bring her.. It would be really wrong.. What if they have kids by then ? What if they're married by then ? I hate H2B's niece but I would never tell him that he can't invite her.. And I would be saving a lot more money by not inviting her as she comes with husband and 2 kids as well.. But it's just not right.. xxx
I can't wait to become his Wife :-)
4th July 2015
CommentAuthorkittyh
ah i see...well i still say put it off a bit...i do know how you feel, there are some people who are on my wedding invitation black list - one of our ushers girlfriends for example (but she is a proper CRAZY! theres absolutely no way i could have her there)...but sometimes with family you just have to swallow the irritants...she could be the mother of your childrens cousins one day! I also think that although everyone says how important guest lists and numbers are but 1/2 either way usually doesn't matter too much unless you have a VERY small venue... :)
We have something similar - kinda. Other half's sister's boyfriend, well we have never met him (mainly because he is 'scared' of her family - with good reason I suppose as OH's sister told us that he hit her once and OH just went off it, told his other 3 brothers and they all basically said that if any of them see him he is a dead man), but she always seems to say how he annoying he is and been controlling then the next day they are all happy as Larry and all in love and she wants to marry him and have kids with him. But I do feel a little bad that two of his brothers will of course have their other half's there, one will be married and the other is engaged and have a daughter together, but we are giving his third brother a plus one so he can bring someone if he chooses, so kinda feel bad that his sister may not get her OH invited or a plus one for above reasons. But in saying that she may not even get an invite due to something going on at the moment.
All in all, it's your wedding, your choice. Talk it over with your other half, your brother, your parents, see what they all say and go from there.
