Wedding Forum - Uninvited guests!! - Page 1

Wedding Forum - Uninvited guests!!...

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Family/Attendants Stress: Uninvited guests!!

1 to 21 of 21

- CommentAuthorRachaelH78
Ok so I have a bit of a predicament! Our wedding is pretty expensive Abd were paying a lot per person so decided early on that we wouldn't give our single friends plus ones and would have to be quite strict on who we invite. Anyway we've sent out invites and started getting RSVPs and a couple have thought they could bring plus ones although it was only addressed to them and there's nothing about bringing an extra guest and I invited an aunt and her partner and she's rsvp'ed saying she's bringing some random!! What do I do? I don't want to upset anyone! X
- CommentAuthorJennyHeather
Oh dear,

The only thing to do is maybe to get in there quick and explain to them that you're paying a lot per person, and there was no mention of plus ones on there. Unless you can stretch your budget for the plus ones??

I'm dreading this actually with a few people we're sending invites to!!
- CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
what about saying

Dear ........ due to numbers unfortunately we wont be able to accommodate a PLUS 1 for the sit down reception they are welcome to come and join in the evening celebrations

Moderator
[email protected]
- CommentAuthorJennyHeather
lala - Better than me response lol!!
- CommentAuthorHelainaH
We've had to do the same the same thing, we had to rule out inviting random plus ones. So far no-one has sent back a rsvp back to me with an extra guest added, but we have had an auntie on my OH side complain because the cousins can't bring their new girlfriends.
We rang up the people who wanted plus one's directly and explained the situation.
Weddings are expensive, and we both come from big families (we're already up to 107 invited, we'd like 90!). We also had to rule out children as well.

If they really care, and want to make your day as stress free as possible then they will understand.

I hope that helps x

- CommentAuthorVelcro
i cant believe people actually assume they can do that!!

Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
*Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
- CommentAuthorKimD7
i have explained to everyone as we are on a very limited budget we can not afford to do plus ones but they are welcome in the evening.
- CommentAuthornadia13
We let people know from the off there b no plus ones unless long term partners or married.... However I did have an aunt ask if she could bring her boyfriend and we thought why not its just the one and knew some people wouldn't be able to come and it turned out that we were right & it worked out perfect with the numbers!! Then my sister now says that she is all loved up & asked if she can bring her boyfriend... I told her not 2 the sit down meal coz everything been sorted & paid for but the best we can do is him coming to the evening and if some1 doesn't turn up on the day then he can take they place, she was very understanding & knew we say no!! However she was gonna stay at our venue wiv our cousin and is worried the cousin be upset ( coz the sister will stay wiv boyfriend at a different hotel) and will feel left out... I said its up 2 her, he is more than welcome but it's up 2 her if she invites him & risk upsetting cousin!! The only thing I was worried about was in case the cousin said she wasn't gonna come if the boyfriend comes then I thought its my wedding and she should b coming 2 c me get wed not my sister so if that's wot she does then I wouldn't want her at my wedding!!!
- CommentAuthorsita_meena
We've said no plus ones if we don't know them (i.e- not married/long term partners) as we don't want randoms at our wedding!
- CommentAuthorMrstalbot2b
We had nick's cousin today email to ask if she could bring her boyfriend, lucky we haven't sent the invites out yet and mil2b was talking to her mum and dad the other day saying about how nice this boyfriend is and how they saving up for an house so me and nick was already working out to fit him in she was lovely about asking and so happy we said yes, just hope I don't get anymore once invites go out at the end of year because I really bad at saying no as dont want upset anyone.

frist date:- 14th july 2009
bought our house:- 5th sept 2010
engaged :- 27th december 2011
getting married : 7th june 2014
- CommentAuthor*KelBel*
We have lots of h2b's friends as single at the mo, and we said if they get with anyone, they will only be invited all day if we've actually met them /done something with them in the run up to the wedding x

Velcro...my wedding day twinny! The Two Kel's!
Got engaged 14/10/12 in Central Park NYC!
Became Mrs Macdonald 13th September 2014
Mummy to 4 girlies and baby blue boy Due 10/05/2016
- CommentAuthorMrsH-2B
You really just have to say no in the most polite way possible.. Adding a plus 1 when you have clearly not put plus 1 is extremely rude though :-/ Never heard of people doing that before xx

I can't wait to become his Wife :-) 4th July 2015
- CommentAuthorBobsi
I would get in touch with them and say that unfortunately the invite does not state plus 1 so sorry but they cannot come.
And to the aunt I would say the invite was addressed to her and a specific someone. If that person cannot make it then it doesn't mean she can bring someone else in place of them so sorry the random cant come.

X

Got together June 11th 2006
Getting married June 11th 2014
8 years to the day and I'll be Mrs T.
- CommentAuthorJenniferY90
When we were talking to people about the wedding we said to all our single friends that we couldn't afford plus ones, my cousin asked and I said yes to her becuase I all my other cousins are with partners and I thought she might feel a little bit on her own. A couple of friends have asked if they can bring plus ones, one I said an outright no to as I do not know the person, the other one I jokingly said if you pay for the meal, the drink and the hig roast for her then she can come, he thought about it for a while, asked how much it would be, when I told him he soon changed his mind and said he would come alone.
I think you need to contact them and either be honest and say that you can't afford these extra people or say you have a limit on people and you cannot add to it?
I would never send an RSVP back and just add someone onto it without asking first if it was ok.
x
- CommentAuthornatalie2614
I think they're being rude just assuming they can bring someone. You can either say invite is for named addresses only or do what Lala suggested and say they can come in the night.

We had h2bs dad do this to us! He had a long term girlfriend so we addressed the invite to him and her. He didn't RSVP (we live in Liverpool he lives in Aylesbury) and when I asked him I got ' not bringing Jo just me and a guest' I flipped because he wasnt bringing a complete stranger to my wedding lol. So now he's coming on his own xx

Married my best friend 05.04.2013
- CommentAuthorGillianE
like everyone else has said be polite but firm and just say no. They should respect your wishes, it's your wedding and you should have the people there that you want.
I understand why you wouldn't want complete strangers there as well.

I think sometimes people are just downright cheeky.

xx
- CommentAuthorRachaelH78
  
  edited
UPDATE GIRLS.... I sent my aunt a really polite but honest message earlier saying sorry her partner couldn't make it and that I hope things were ok but to be honest we couldn't afford to pay for her friend especially as we've never met her and we have already had to not invite some friends and family members we would have liked to. I sugested her friend come to the evening reception instead . About ten minutes after my cousin text me going crazy saying I'm unbelievable and she couldn't believe I would do that and I'm obviously too selfish to care about family!! I was so shocked and upset, the things she was saying to me had me in tears and I still kept being polite and trying to explain the situation despite the abuse I was getting. Anyway to cut a long story short , both her and my cousin have said they no longer consider me family and will not be coming! What on earth am I meant to do now?? My mum passed a few years ago and they were half of the only family I have on her side left! X
- CommentAuthoralmost a year wife!!
O fgs what a selfish bizznatch!!!!! U don't need witches like that.... Your mum will be with u in spirt hun.... Hugs to u xxx

Ill marry my hero
- CommentAuthorMrsH-2B
All over a flaming friend ???? Goodness !! Is her family being there not enough company ?? Very very selfish of them both ! Hope it gets sorted !
And I agree with LMC1302, your mum will be with you Xxx

I can't wait to become his Wife :-) 4th July 2015
- CommentAuthorAnnette
I can't believe people do this. We've had half of Carl's family back out because we didn't invite their kids (all old enough to stay at home on their own, no babysitters needed), and they just don't understand that we can't take the added cost for a bunch of people we don't know! Stick your guns hon, I know it feels like a betrayal, weddings seem to bring out the worst in people, but you don't need people like that in your life. Replace them with some friends instead, that's what we did.

Think about it guys- if you invited all your friends and family to a party and you paid for a meal and some free drinks they wouldn't DREAM of imposing extra people on you, they'd be flabbergasted you were spending so much on them in the first place! For some reason just because it's a wedding people feel entitled -_- xxxxxx

Breathe in, breathe out...
- CommentAuthorOWB
Oh Rachael, I'm sorry you've had this. If they're going to behave like this then I wouldn't worry that you're half your 'family' down, fill their spaces with friends instead.

If only life could be one long tea break

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