It seems that my future husband doesn't appreciate how much hard work and stress the planning and booking of everything for weddings is as i've had to literally sort everything myself and just starting to get to me now! I've sorted out our wedding venue, reception, trying to sort issues with paying the marriage notice and coming across so many obstacles because of new ID legislation that says a valid UK driving licence isn't enough to prove your nationality to use at the registrars :o(! my bridesmaids have vanished in thin air including my chief bridesmaid who went to one dress fitting with me and spent the entire time telling me how a wedding wasn't all about saying 'I do' and we had to spend a lot of money to impress the guests! I'm trying to find cheap cost effective decoration ideas and favours which all get shot down in flames and now grooms sister books her own wedding less than 3 months before mine, books the same reception venue and refuses to pay for own bridesmaid dress even though we had agreed this months prior to her even getting engaged- apparently I'm not allowed to be stressed out but nearly pulling my hair out at this point! any tips?
CommentAuthorLauraF89
Ahh sounds awful! My H2b also doesn't help, he rolls his eyes or huffs and puffs when i mention stuff and when i say i want something and get all the info and say my plans for the day he then pipes up about his wants..he could have participated in the first place so i wouldnt have to keep emailing people 60 times!!! He tells me he doesn't care and wants to just turn up but i don't think he realises how much you need to do in advance when it comes to planning a wedding, especially on a budget.
Sorry to hear about the FSIL booking so close to your wedding and at the same venue, i would be furious!!! My sister is engaged and i would be crushed if she booked her wedding 3 months (or even 6 months) before my wedding. Why would she do that to you?
Can you not get yourself a Passport, might help with the ID situation? As for bridesmaid's coming to dress fittings, i personally find too much aggro with it and have stuck to just taking my mum. A wedding is deffo not about impressing guests, that's a bit daft of her to say that and her idea of a wedding must be very materialistic instead of symbolic, which is what is it really isnt it? Maybe have a word with her and if she wants to be involved in the planning and help then tell her it's real meaning of a wedding and that youre not appreciating having your ideas shot down in flames by her, after all if you like it then it doesn't matter what she thinks?
xxx
October 31st 2015
I will be Mrs. Henry
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CommentAuthorShowgirl
Oh dear, its all going on for you at the moment. First of all the decorations and favours - if no one else is willing to help then they have no right to comment. Go with whatever you and your OH want and if he's not willing to compromise/make any suggestions then the ultimate decision is with you. Could you maybe give your OH a task and a slightly less than realistic deadline so he can appreciate how much effort is involved and will be able/willing to help you out a bit more? It may be worth getting a cheaper BM dress online if she's no longer going to pay for her own dress. I'm not even going to get started on the rush to beat you guys down the aisle! Needless to say I feel your anger on that one.
CommentAuthorNicolaL627
Yeah its all a bit of pain atm but future SIL is all about the attention seeking I'm afraid so whatever we plan she will always have to do better for example-i bought my beautiful dress online because we couldn't afford a shop made one and I'm so pleased with it-i gave the SIL a tip about a big wedding dress sale but she said she had no money then went out and bought a big expensive dress from a shop! i know its not a contest but she thinks so lol! as for the bridesmaids dresses i already found wonderful dresses for everybody at a brilliant bargain price, they are perfect and its still not good enough grr lol
CommentAuthorAngelaM77
Try not to let SIL annoy you (easier said than done, I know). Just remember that you're choosing the things you really want for your wedding, and it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. I don't know what to do with h2b, though. I've got the opposite problem -mine wants a say in everything... including my hair do... lol!
Sorry, I'm trying not to think about it but the venue thing is really bugging me! The date is fine, everyone knows you got engaged first and had already set a date before her but I just can't understand how she could possibly think booking the same venue would be OK unless you guys live in a small village with just one function hall. Can you tell her you've recently been looking at other venues and are thinking of not having any favours and things in order to afford a more expensive venue? Hopefully she'll then decide to change her venue to that one and you can keep this one without everyone thinking you copied her.
CommentAuthorkatielea100
im in asimilar position hun feel likecrap because of it :( hugs xx
CommentAuthorNicolaL627
Whats really strange about the venue is that we live in a city that has so many choices of venue ranging from the really expensive to affordable price-but never once did she ever mention she was even looking at the same venue, my H2b even joked that she could have it there and we could all have family discount but they never said anything! apparently they 'looked all over' and couldn't find anything cheaper- would have hurt less if she'd talked to me about and said they were thinking about it, was it ok, would it be alright for them to do the same? still had no word from her to this day so guess she's chicken cos she knows what i might have to say to her! sucks for all us brides who just want the day to be special that we have to deal with people like that!
CommentAuthorSandyG83
When I got engaged my h2b was all for helping and wanted a say in everything now he has decided what he wants he doesnt seem interested anymore . I think showgirl has a good idea about telling sil your looking at different venues.
CommentAuthorLauraK7
My h2b doesn't help out much either really and I've organised lots of bits but I don't mind as I'm a bit of a control freak lol
CommentAuthorAmyK
My h2b says "I don't mind, I'll go with whatever you decide", so I make suggestions, give him options, we choose something together. I go ahead and book/plan/pay, then he changes his mind. As for booking the same venue etc - that's not on!! Grr! At least you can se it as a trial run & do things better on your day x
CommentAuthorBethanyS
I wouldn't take it personally, I think H2B's seem to all be the same. They let us take the lead and just say yes and no to things. I think I am lucky in the sense that H2B does want to get involved a little, but not much! x
CommentAuthorCoral
Most men don't know how to help plan a wedding they don't understand how much things cost or realise how much needs done Think you just need to sit, talk and list what needs done and see what jobs he is going to do to help you out. As for the SIL don't get upset about it 3 months is a good bit away and you might be able to help each other out. Maybe you need a chat to see why they picked the date that they did and just get everything out.
CommentAuthorMarrying.Ryan
I am lucky, my H2B loves helping me plan. The small details don't really bother him, but we chose the invitaions, church, venu... nearly everything together. As for your SIL... Grit your teeth and let her be. I would be pissed, too, but it looks like she is making it a competition, like you said and it is probably best not to play along and try and outshine her. You sound like you could do with a day off and do no wedding planning for one day.
