Ok, H2B's dad is a professional singer (and by the way the best singer I have ever heard, and I cannot understand why the man has not made millions). I do not want him to sing at the wedding, other than the 1st dance. I asked him and he was delighted, but MIL2B said he can't do it because he is supposed to dance with my mum and she is supposed to dance with my dad (except my dad isnt going, so it will have to be my best friend). I said I had never heard of this and I want the 1st dance to be just H2B and me. She said this was tradition and what should happen, and guests always join the 1st dance part way through. Am I being unreasonable. I really want the 1st dance to be me and H2B and I would love FIL2B to sing it as I know he is amazing, I know H2B and FIL2B would love it 2. I dont want to cause any problem with MIL2B as she is usually fine and I get on with her pretty well. Also has anyone heard of this tradition or is it a Scotish thing (they are scotish, I am english).
Thanks
Mrs Wilson2B
Need to loose 5 stones and 2lbs
3 Stones 2 lbs lost so far!!!
Getting Married 3rd August 2013
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
not during the first dance they don't ......the number following from the first dance can be the one that includes the parents
I have heard of this before but i agree with you, i want our first dance to be ours, its your special moment with your new hubby to reflect on the day! xxx
CommentAuthorFuture Mrs Doublé
1st dance is only for married couple if they have a 2nd dance then parents can join
Soon to be Mrs Gary Doublé
Everything is now booked
Getting really stressed and excited now
CommentAuthorJoanna
I've always heard of everyone joining in half way through the first dance. However, it's your wedding, you do what you want even if it isn't tradition :) personally I want everyone to join in otherwise I'd get embarrassed haha xx
The greatest thing you'll ever learn
is just to love and be loved in return
I was a bridesmaid last year and we were asked to join in part way through the first dance. It isn't expected though, so do whatever you want!
If only life could be one long tea break
CommentAuthorAntonia9
i have heard of this tradition although i think it was americanised..... i certainly wont be doing it. If you want to have your moment then have it just you's two
Cant wait to become Mrs Purdie x x x x
May 4th 2013 - The day i get to marry my best friend
CommentAuthorloustew2012
normally at our family weddings its bride groom, bmand bm bride dad and groom mum and bride mum and groom dad. (were scots) and its always been that way within our family. but me and h2b are changing it as the song we want is done by a female vocalist and its a male band (they wont do it !!) so were having 2 the first dance to male song with the parentlas and bridal party and after the buffet were playing the female vocal and dancing on our own.
end of the day i think its entirely up to you both. xxx
All the ways of my life id rather be with you.
Theres no way without you.
10.11.12
CommentAuthorTattieSoup
First dance traditions vary all over the place, just do whatever you want. I think the most straightforward solution would just be to tell MIL2B that you don't think it's a tradition/don't care about the tradition and aren't going to do it, final decision.
If you would rather compromise, perhaps you could have a first dance, with a different song and your parents all dancing together, then announce a "bridal" dance with your FIL2B singing and just you two dancing? Or the other way around?
Or you could make up an excuse, such as get your Mum to say she doesn't want to dance with everyone watching and therefore it would be weird if MIL2B and your best friend were randomly dancing. Or get H2B to tell MIL2B that it would make you feel bad about the fact that your Dad isn't there.
Where we got married (also in Scotland) it is traditional to open dancing with a "Grand March", which is a kind of bridal party procession that results in people being lined up in various combinations and looks good in photos. Then guests come onto the floor and the march becomes a Boston Two Step (a ceilidh dance). There is no bride/groom first dance.
We wanted to have a first dance to ourselves but also wanted to incorporate local tradition, so we had the Grand March/Boston Two Step, then we got the band to ask guests to clear the floor for a "bridal waltz" and my husband and I danced a Catherine Waltz by ourselves and nobody else joined in. After we were done the band called the next dance in the programme and guests came back onto the floor.
Make your own tradition!
CommentAuthorKATG
Thanks all, I think I am just gonna ask FIL2B again, and tell MIL2B that we can do a 2nd dance with all the traditional 'couples' and wedding party. We are hopefully having a band that will do a Ceilidh for an hour or so near the begining, so I might sp. eak to him about that x
Mrs Wilson2B
Need to loose 5 stones and 2lbs
3 Stones 2 lbs lost so far!!!
Getting Married 3rd August 2013
CommentAuthorCupcake
I am Scottish and to be honest its usually down to the bride and H2B how that section gets played out.
Its common for the Bride n Groom to begin the dance which is then joined in by the parents and the bridal party. I dont really know of guests joining in outwith that.
Either that or its just you and your new hubby enjoying the limelight together for your first dance.
Personally, I would speak to MIL2B and put it across in a way so that you say as your Dad cant be there, it would mean a lot to you for FIL2B to play a very special part in the wedding by singing the first dance song. You would like to have your first dance together as hubby and wife to be the two of you. The dance after that can be the parents and bridal party with any willing guests joining in.
My motto is ''Its MY wedding so its MY way''. - Total Bridezilla I know but its gonna be the only way to make sure the day goes as me and H2B want it rather than how everyone else wants our wedding to be. x
CommentAuthorMrs Cerutti2b
I've always thought of it to be the choice of the couple, some don't like having the first dance, so ask people to join in half way, so they feel less awkward, while others prefer to have the whole dance to themselves, so I think its completely up to you.
You just need to explain the your MIL that you want it to be just the two of you for the entire song, and would love your FIL to stare his gift with you and sing for it, to make the whole thing even more personal and special to you both :) Good luck with it x
