One of the biggest concerns I have for the big day is the top table. My fiance and I both come from broken families and I really am not sure what to do... I have my mother and father and their partners and Ant will have his father and step mam. His mother passed away when he was younger.
We have myself and OH then..
The best man father of the bride (his partner?) mother of the bride (and my stepdad?) father of the groom (and his partner)
It just causes so much complication, has anyone else had this problem? How did you seat your top table? I might just have me and Ant at this rate! lol
CommentAuthorShannonK05
I've seen a lot of people having a 'sweetheart table' in situations like this. It would mean that your parents could sit with their own family and who they'd want to be with and you and your new husband would be on your own. I've heard it's quite popular but personally I wouldn't want to do it, I dont want all my friends and family together having fun while we're sat on our own!! But everyone's different :) x
CommentAuthorInDreamland
Shannon's suggestion is good.
My family is considered traditional in that my parents are still together but hubby's family situation is more complicated as his parents divorced but his mum passed away so there was no issue with having both his parents at the same table. Just had to accommodate his dad's girlfriend on the top table with us, I was worried his sister would have a problem with it but all worked out well in the end.
Personally I'd say have who you want on the top table and don't let anyone pressure you into anything else.
Our top table was round. With me, hubby, my parents, my sister and BIL, SIL and her hubby, FIL and his girlfriend and then SIL 2 kids.
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorSusie
We have a similar situation, my mum and dad are still together and will be seated together on our top table, but Dave's mum and dad are spilit and his dad has a long time gf whom his mum dislikes. We will have his mum and dad seated together at the top table and his GF will sit with the members of the family she is comfortable with. We have been quite stern about this, because his mum and his dad both have the right to sit at the top table, and instead of having a massive TT to accommodate everyone and cause animosity, we think this way has solved it. Woe betide any of them who kick up a fuss as Ive just about had enough of their crap!
CommentAuthorChanelP
My OH's parents are seperated and re-married. We have decided to have our top table as: me, OH, best man, maid of honour, my mum, my dad, Oh's dad and OH's mum (step mum and step dad are on seperate tables with their families. x
We are not having a traditional top table, we are having us, best man, couple cousins and friends, and OHs mum and dad will host there own table, as will My mum, as neither of Us want to put up with each others parents for a big part of the day but they will be on a table close to ours so can turn around and chat . Its about who you want to be sat with. x
Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
we had a table with us my children who were bms and my son walked me n ,and our witnesses ...
my mum n dad hosted their own table n we did have to worry about mr lalas as they didnt come .
They are interesting suggestions thank you. I remember graduation and keeping the parents apart, me and my sister kept having to separate to keep them separate and take it in turns with each set. I refuse to do that on my wedding day I am going to sit them all down and tell them they just have to deal with it. I like the idea of them having their own tables but I would like my dad on the same table for his speech x
CommentAuthorWhovianbride
He could always come walk over and stand by you when he gives his speech?
Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
CommentAuthorEmma_Michelle
Aw I never thought of that. That is such a good idea thank you x
CommentAuthorMarrying.Ryan
I would say do what you want. Who would you like at the table with you? I agree, your Dad doesn't have to sit at the table with you to hold his speech. My family is also quite a pain to organise. My Mum isn't coming, so it will be my Dad and Stepmum, but they have two children, who my Stepmum would never let them sit with other family (they are from Germany and not super close to family over here), so if I want my Dad and Stepmum, I need to have my sister (who is a BM, anyway, so that wont be a problem) and my brother, there, too. We haven't decided on a venue yet, but I think we need to choose one that fits a loooong head table lol
CommentAuthorclairenina
We're having a small top table, and I too have a broken family, plus neither of our families have met. So we are having (ourselves in the middle), my Mum and step Dad next to me, and My fiance's parents next to him. We don't have a best man yet, it may well end up being my father in law at the moment, so only 6 on the top table!
CommentAuthoralmost a year wife!!
awww i dont like the term "broken family" :(
were going:
moh (my sis), my mum, my dad, me, hubs, his mum, his dad, gm (his bro)
xxx
Ill marry my hero
CommentAuthorbeximo86
this is my headache too! OH's mum and dad are still together and will be seated with us at the top table alongside the best man. However, my mum and dad are divorced. My mum has remarried whilst my dad is currently single - however I am not particularly close to my 'real' dad so my step dad is giving me away and I want my mum and step dad on the top table. I've not actually told my dad this yet but when I do I'm expecting WW3 and maybe even him saying he won't come. In that case though it's his choice. He wills till be there, as my biological father, and I will still have a photo with him - but in a nutshell I don't WANT him to be at the top-table and that's all that really matters x
CommentAuthorBeckyU98
you could always just have a parents table and sit them all together? as you your top table either go for a sweetheart table and put the Best Man and MOH with the parents or you can sit them 2 with you on top table just the 4 of u. my parents are divorced and my dad is remarried. im having all 3 of them on top table but keeping it traditional and splitting them all up on top table so FOB sits next to MOG etc etc. you can always have all the parents up there and sit Best Man and MOH on another table. doesnt really matter whatever makes you happy x
CommentAuthorMrs Q - Weegie
I was in similar situation, and just had myself, my husband, best man and Chief bridesmaid at the top table.
When my dad done his speech he just stood up at his table and read it out :)
25 days Until i marry my price charming!!
Cant belive its sooo sooon!!!!!
'this is our time, and our lives and nothings ever going to
break us' :D:D:D
CommentAuthorGems
We've got a similiar situation to you, we are thinking about doing it like this
Best Man, My Step Mum, His Dad, My Mum, Groom , Bride, My Dad, His Mum, My Step Dad, Maid of Honour
xx
Marrying my soul mate and best friend 5th July 2014
CommentAuthorx scotchic x
This is a tricky 1! My parents hate each other and to make it worse my mum is giving me away. My choice because I believe my mum deserves to as she is my parent. Difficult relationship with my dad. X
CommentAuthorAllishiaW
My parents aren't together so I can sympathise with you!! My mum split up with her loser of an ex now which makes it easier now :) although my dad is now seeing someone,who wait for it.... Is my daughters fathers relative (does my daughter still call her auntie (it's her great aunt) or nanny lol) but that's a different story lol!! Anyhow,We've not sorted how or where,but we are having Me,oh,my mum,my dad,my fil,(no mil she's not with us anymore) my daughter,best man and moh :) x
CommentAuthorMrs T. 2 Be
My parents aren't together either. We aren't inviting my Dads partner as the last thing I would want is my Mum to feel awkward. Both my parents are civil (ish) with each other when they have to be but it can feel a little awkward at times.
We looked online and found the traditional top table seating does not have brides parents next to each other or the grooms parents next to each other so we are going with the following;
CBM, My sis (BM), My Mum, H2b's Dad, H2b, Me, My Dad, H2b Mum, H2b bro (Usher), Best Man.
The rest of our Ushers and BM's and their partners are amongst 2 of our other guest tables.
Started Dating: 25th September 2005
Engaged: 26th September 2012
Getting Married: 25th May 2014
CommentAuthorLeahAmy
I have a big family with my family and foster family and although I could have them all on top we have always like the idea of having BM and GM on top with us... BM (niece), BM (niece), BM (SIL), BM (sis), BM (sis), MOH (bf), me, mat, best-man, usher, usher, usher ... Looking at that think it's going too look odd though... We will think of something lol x
WIN A WEDDING WINNER 2013....Leah and Matthew....
The greatest thing you'll ever learn is to love
and be loved in return...
Got together 20/04/07, Engaged 20/06/12, Wedding 27/06/14
CommentAuthorGiraffe
I haven't made a definite plan but thinking of having my parents (still together) plus his parents and their partners, plus MOH and best man (maybe their partners too). Not sure how well his parents get on, especially with new partners - hence why not a definite plan yet! Don't want anyone to feel awkward but I really want my parents on the top table so it wouldn't seem right to not have his (or a 'sweetheart' table). Also we want a round top table which makes it more complicated I think as with a long top table they can sit at opposite ends and not really need to see each other!
CommentAuthorDonnaH39
We're having to add a bit to the top table, fiancés side is fine, best man and my MIL and FIL, mine is more complicated, my dad died when I was young so my brother is giving me away, so he'll be on the top table along with my mum, her partner and my son
CommentAuthorEmma_Michelle
Who would have thought arranging our top tables would be so complicated. Was talking to my fiance's sister and she had her and her husband plus maid of honour and best man at the 'top table' then had her dad and step mam host their own table, then her husbands mam and step dad and then his dad and step mam all on their own tables. Everyone has good ideas though its really helpful.
Funnily enough I'm watching don't tell the bride and they are having top table issues too! The step parents want to be on the top table and its all kicking off.
